Kingdom of Gladiators

Kingdom of Gladiators_720p(480P)

Moviecut—Kingdom of Gladiators

Kingdom of the Gladiators... Sooner or later in everyone's life, there comes a time when you watch some crap. Either sorely disappointing A-listers; or B-movies that you watched on purpose. And usually they have some isolated talent in it that ended up there by mistake. An actor or a song or one plot idea. It's very rare to find a film that really has no redeeming points at all whatsoever. This is that movie. If I try really hard then I'd have to say that the sentences are gramatically correct. Just not making any sense at all when heard in sequence; and spoken with exagerated diction (king) or a super american accent (villainess). I wasn't expecting an intricate plot, but almost nothing is explained and what is, does not make any sense. Immediately from the start it's unclear why this king wants a deal to avoid bloodshed so that he can continue fighting, and how it's binding if he hasn't vowed to accept. Well, I say king, but it's some feeble elder man, wrapped in a curtain, left alone in some old rooms, with nothing that bears any resemblance to a royal court. Everyone is miscast - and that includes also a 19th century fortress which just can't double for a medieval castle. I might have overlooked that if that one fortress hadn't been their only location used for everything (and failing to convince at every turn). Of the two twin brothers mentioned, we see only one, i.e. twin brothers each from a different race yet from the same father. Most amazingly of all, the DVD contains a deleted scene. Think about it - that means that it's possible for a scene to be so bad, as to be rejected from this movie. I would have thought that impossible. But on closer inspection, there's an explanation: It was an extended scene where an extra actually showed acting skill. So that obviously had to go. Other pros scraped with difficulty from the barrel: I liked the woodcut that you see for 1 second. And at least it's not one of those predictable movies. It doesn't make enough sense to be that.

Shot back to back with Gladiator Games which was just over an eighth of this film's budget, Kingdom of Gladiators was more of what I was expecting from Stefano Milla and all i can say is holy Mary, what, the, oh, oh mamma mia. Kingdom of Gladiators is in every way the Ator of our post capitalist times and i am so happy to declare it to be utter, authentic, primo Italian trash, highlighting both the agony and the ecstasy of Italian genre cinema. The cast is full of either attractive or intriguing faces, but their acting might be some of the worst that can be found in pre-game of thrones millennial fantasy filmmaking. The cinematography is really good and the locations were well scouted, but the after effects grading is cheap vignetting garbage. The art direction and costume design is eye catching, yet the soundtrack, not a score, soundtrack is totally compiled of the greatest hits from charity adverts over the last 10 years. So it seems we have everything an Italian exploitation film fan could want, sampled music, amateur acting, cutesy gym bunny hons, fantastic production values and a mesmerisingly inept screenplay that all comes together to make a film that tows the very fine line between total cliche and utter insanity like only the purest eurotrash is able to. But just because I am satisfied, doesn't mean it's a good film, which I've come to learn the hard way. Even though Kingdom of Gladiators is a wildly entertaining first watch with it's illogical story just too simple to be confusing and the directorial style too enthusiastic not be endearing, diminishing returns through the eye height rose garden would eventually conclude at a barren wasteland devoid of any engaging drama of arresting visuals. Kingdom of Gladiators is amazing trash, the likes of which I thought could not be made anymore, but it is still an awful film. And it's painful to admit because the effort is evidently there on the screen, it's just incredibly misguided. Maybe you can irk amusement out of two viewings, but after that, I would say all that could be salvaged from Kingdom of Gladiators would be mirth inducing gauche.

Terrible. It's just terrible! God! It's... I'm sure it's not a movie. It's just... A big pile of crap. There are lots and lots and lots off better stuff out there. Please don't waste your time with this thing. It is the worst acting, worst directing, worst editing, worst of all cinematic etc. Oh Christ! What was that camera shaking constantly?! Are they try to cover all that scum going on in the screen? God!! I can't even say it's just amateur, 'cause there are a lot of good stuff in amateur movies, and this thing is just plain crap. Awful, awful crap...

This absolutely has to be the worst movie with what seems to have been quite a high budget. There was a horrible film called The Strand back in the 1990's, and I thought that was as low as it's possible to get in film making, but I was wrong. Ed Wood is spinning repeatedly around in his grave, urging to come back and make a gladiator movie. But he won't ever be able to make one this bad. That's simply impossible. I really don't get why anybody have bothered to create or take part in this, no more than I get why I even bother to write this review. Are Sharon Fryer's clearly visible bumps the whole idea behind making all this nonsense, and the only reason for giving it more than one star? Maybe so. 1,7 is the lowest score I've seen so far in IMDb. Alright then, I actually think some of the light setting was quite good, but that's just because I pity those in this production who actually have some talent. With the size of the budget spent on this rotten egg, someone could really make something, but no. The director's touch in this is just a handful of nothing.

As much as I enjoy fantasy movies then "Kingdom of Gladiators" was not a movie that impressed. In fact, I should have taken heed to the many bad reviews and the very low rating that the movie had. But hand on heart, then I didn't find it fully as bad as the rating the movie had scored made it out to be. The storyline in the movie was so simplistic that it bordered on stupidity and downright boredom. A king makes a pact with a demon to save his kingdom, but at the cost of his newborn daughter. Now the daughter has returned years later, but so had a brooding darkness. There wasn't much appeal in the movie, and certain things were just ludicrous. For example, the performance of Bryan Murphy and the way he delivered his dialogue. It was just gruesome to witness. And some of the music was so wrongly picked for the movie; you can't have modern day music in a medieval fantasy movie. However, the worst thing was the guy with the tattoos, especially since he had a tattoo of a green colored bomb with a smiley face and the word "revolution" written across it. Seriously? They had done nothing to cover up his modern day hipster tattoos. It was so bad! That is one of the worst fails I have ever seen in a movie. And the fight scenes were poorly choreographed and very rigid. However, it should also be said that the locations and scenery throughout the movie was quite spectacular. And for the most parts then the music was really quite nice. All in all, not a memorable or impressive movie. And if you enjoy fantasy movies, take heed and stay well clear of "Kingdom of Gladiators".

This was a terribly directed and badly put together movie. Even with bad acting, a better script and better editing this could have been a great story, I really wanted to know more. Was very drawn out, and full of over acting. So much so that it was hard to follow what was actually going on. Fight scenes were slow, and very little for a gladiator movie. The one and only good thing about this movie was its location, truly spectacular. I would not recommend watching this movie, unless you like wasting your time. I am sorry I did.

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Boy oh boy, what do we have here? To call it a steaming pile would be accurate, but as this is a SPECIAL type of bad film, we must dig deeper. The only possible reason for it's existence is that everyone involved lost some kind of major bet, or perhaps they were inflicted with some kind of temporary insanity. Either way, I bet they're disowned by their parents, grandchildren, pets etc. and quite right too. I would rather confess that one of my nearest and dearest was a chicken molesting hermaphrodite than admit they had any function in this... But I'm getting ahead of myself... Where can I start? The opening scene is that of a very ugly man who OVEREMPHASISES EVERY WORD HE SAYS. He reminded me of a failed Shakespearean actor, who thinks talking in a loud, pompous voice shows emotion range. Guess what, it doesn't. We have to tolerate this idiot throughout, and it is my sincerest wish he is now reduced to playing the back end of a donkey on Brighton Pier. And that's just for starters. Next up we find out that in this fictional world, everything is like in the Dark Ages. Except... there are tattoos, infra-red glasses... and BOOB JOBS. Yep, it's true... Check out the brunette 'warrior' when she walks in her scanty chain mail... them puppies don't bounce an inch. It's funny, but not hilarious as the accents, which vary between English, American and Gord-Knows-What. Strange place, these people inhabit. And just like the previously mentioned guy, none of them can act for toffee. If he's the rear of a donkey, perhaps they can play his manure. After all, they already stink at their job, so they're halfway there. See the word GLADIATOR in the title and you think, there's gotta be some good fights, right? WRONG my friend. COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY WRONG. We're a long way from Russell Crowe here. We're talking more like fake WF wrestling matches here, with lots of cheesy little moves from fools in bad costumes. But even Hulk Hogan and co would be embarrassed by the terrible computerised blood and non-stop camera shaking going on, and the sum total is like one long self-made parody. If only it was... And with the final revelation that the bad guy is one big Jim Henson puppet, the movie finally comes to a rest. Not me though... I'll be having nightmares about the experience for days. I would send the director the bill for my therapy, but on this evidence I doubt he could afford it. Maybe I'll be nice, and throw a penny into his tin cup on my way to the psychiatrist's. I know... I'm all heart... 1/10