Kill Cruise

source: Kill Cruise

This is an okay film except for the final plot twist which makes absolutely no sense given what has come before. The character development to justify this twist is non-existent and therefore the ending seems to have been done only for the shock value. It isn't shock, but rather disgust, that the viewer will be left with. Disgust at such an obvious and phony trick to end the film. Like I said, I liked the film but the ending spoiled the whole picture.

This is a real psychological study. Poor Jurgen ends up with a couple of beautiful, two bit performers who coerce him into taking them to Barbados. Unfortunately, the trip is four weeks and along the way, their personalities begin to clash, with deadly consequences. One is selfish and jealous, the other grows strong but has a psychotic side. Prochnow's Captain is Diabetic and this proves to be the biggest complication when one of the jealous females decides to use it against him. The dynamics on board are interesting. Both women are gorgeous, which complicates things as well. There is sexual tension all over the place. The name of the ship is "Bella Donna" which, of course, is a plant that is used to extract deadly poison. The movie does work pretty well as the three do everything to destroy what there is between them. I won't spoil the ending, but it certainly grabs the viewer.

I saw the American version of this film and I'll probably never watch it again - the story doesn't seem to make any sense in the beginning and the things that the story lacks in reference to the plot of the film are revealed, in my mind, at the end of the film - like I said, imagination is a marvelous tool or talent, depending on the situation you are viewing! This is about two very twisted and sick women who hitch a ride with a sea skipper to Barbados, he being unaware as to what the two women are really up to!!! The cinematography is wonderful, the editing is horrible! You really have to use your brain to figure out the meaning of this film and to understand the behavior of the women passengers! Worth viewing, depending on what kind of mind you have!

WEll this was a true tale of the seas, that would have been better left bobbing around like the corker it is. The crew were good looking enough but they were so slovenly that they deserved to be keel hauled before breakfast, (for the sharks that is). The only reason to keep watching beyond the first few minutes is the vain hope that the two crew might get it on, so let me save you the trouble and let you know that they don't. I have to say that Hurley was virtually unrecognizable, whether it was pre-surgery or that simply thinning her eye brows really dose the trick, I am not sure. To sum it up I think it would have best served each of their careers, including the director, if this film had simply sunk without trace or even a ripple. Aye aye cap'n, loose the ma'n sail, hard to port if you get my drift.

This has got to be the out there 'Most Awful' film of 1990. Someone suggested the 'Skipper' was asked to leave a 'West Indies' port, hence the cruise. This is wrong on 2 counts. The skipper is suspected of committing 'foul play' on a rival and sinks to the bottom of a bottle and the port he meets and is tricked into a cruise by the women in is obviously Gibraltar (old Morris 1300 driven by port officials, scene showing the Rock). They then set sail on what is a most turgid voyage. At one point Su (Patsy Kensit) steals the Skippers' (Jurgen Prochnow) insulin whilst her friend Lou (Elizabeth Hurley) protects her friend from his rage. I think after that I'd be looking for the nearest ship, island anything to get rid of them both! The finale comes completely out of character for Lou, a crime without motive that is frankly unbelievable and the final written statement makes it clear that whoever wrote this tripe had one too many misogynist nightmares. If you want to watch something good in the 'sea-story thriller' genre try 'Deep Calm'. I guess if you've got a Patsy or Liz 'thing' you might put up with this, indeed there is an occasional Hurley boob flash. But really only of interest to C movie lovers Willie the dog gets my vote for best actor here.

Although there seemed to be a lack in the plot of the movie, the story and events were entertaining. You never know what will happen on a cruise of this nature and this movie points to certain possibilities. I would watch it again but the anxiety that I felt would be reason enough not to watch it. I did feel a certain emptiness when it was over, but hey, that is what movies are about. You just never know. The surprise ending was actually not expected and that was well worth the viewing time of two hours. I would recommend this film to others with the knowledge that it was not a real class film but entertaining none the less.

(There are Spoilers) Surviving a violent Mediterranean Sea storm the skipper, Jurgen Prochnow, was unable to save the life of his friend and fellow seaman Paul Pelikan, Mario Stock, and his former, and now Mario's, lover Mona, Gvalyna Szapolowska. The Skipper hold's himself responsible for their deaths even though he was cleared of any wrong doing by a Seaman/Mariner Court. Losing his nerve and getting drunk the Skipper hangs out all day and night, for six months, at the local Califorina Club drinking instead of going back out to sea on his ship the Bella Donna. Things change for the Skipper when he's approached by a young British duet of singer and dancer Su & Lou, Patsy Kensit & Elizabeth Hurley. The two are dying to get out of this boring ghost town of Gibraltar and sail to sunny and swinging Barbados in the West Indies. A trip of some 2,500 miles that would take over a month. The Skipper needing a reason to go back to sea on his ship jumps at the idea that the girls proposed to him and the next day the Skipper together with Su & Lou and their pet pooch Willard sails past the "Pillars of Hercules" into the wide open and dangerous Atlantic Ocean. It turned out to be a voyage straight into hell. Great scenic and ocean photography with a number of spectacular sunrise and sunsets can't overcome the film "Kill Cruise" unconvincing script and totally unbelievable surprise ending. The ending is so off-the-wall that it makes you wonder if you fell asleep while watching the film and missed something that would make it at least plausible to the movie's story. A less then glamorous Elizabeth Hurley and down in the dumps-looking Patsy Kensit make up the trio, or quintet if you include the cute little dog Willard, on the cruise yacht Bella Donna. Thing start to get edgy when Su becomes jealous of the Skipper taking her friend, and possibly lesbian lover,Lou away from her as they both have a sexual tryst right in front of her. Su plans to murder the Skipper, as well as Lou, by first letting them drown at sea as they were both swimming, and making out underwater, by taking off with the boat Bella Donna. Later Su hides the insulin that the Skipper needs for his diabetic condition and his life is saved by Lou who finds it just in time, hidden by Su inside a world globe, just before in went into insulin shock. With the crazed jealous and murderously inclined Su on deck the movie then immediately changes course where we see the three on board with Su & Lou dancing and singing as if everything that we saw up until then was forgotten about. Then were hit with an ending that's straight out of nowhere.

This is a very interesting film which will keep your attention and at the same time entertain you right to the very end of the film. This film deals with two women, Sue (Patsy Kensit) and Elizabeth Hurley, (Lou) who enlist the services of a washed up drunken man named Jurgen Prochnow, ( The Skipper) who is a German Sailor and he owns a sailing vessel and is requested by the police authorities in the West Indes to leave their port. The Skipper meets up with these two young women in a night club called the "California" where he girls perform and sometimes give more than they are asked for. Eventually, these girls decided to sail to Barbados with the Skipper and this ride starts all kinds of sparks between two females, a dog and the Skipper, who pays very little attention sexually to these women. One of the girls finally gets some love and complete attention and the other girl gets very upset and starts all kinds of problems. You will never guess how this film ends and it is very suspenseful and will keep you on the edge of your seats. Enjoy

If you are interested in brief glimpses of Elizabeth Hurley's nipples you might find this movie interesting. That is the only redeeming quality of this strange movie with an odd, confusing story featuring odd confusing characters. Periodically the story seems to be about to make sense but then it falls apart again as the characters do something else seemingly unmotivated or poorly motivated. While my drama instructor tried to avoid using the word "motivation" because of possibility of cliché I can think of no word better. There was simply no logical reason presented for the goings on in this film. The motivation is missing. Of course, it was only one dollar in the bargain bin. Perhaps I shouldn't complain too much.