Jersey Shore Shark Attack

A ravenous horde of vicious albino bull sharks spoil everyone's fun during a Fourth of July celebration down by the shore in Seaside Heights, New Jersey. Fortunately, the local pumped-up Italian muscleheads and their slutty girlfriends decide to fight back. Director John Shepphird, working from a blithely silly script by Michael Ciminera and Richard Gnolfo, relates the uproariously inane story at a brisk pace and wisely doesn't treat this infectious foolishness seriously for a minute. Instead, Shepphird goes overboard with the goofy humor and broad Guido Italian stereotypes with always enjoyable and often sidesplitting results. The attractive and appealing cast attack the dippy material with lip-smacking zest, with especially engaging and energetic work from the delectable Melissa Molinaro as the shrill, snippy, stuck-up Nooki, Jeremy Luke as amiable macho hunk The Complication, Vinny Guadagnino as spastic TV reporter Joe Conte, Daniel Booko as obnoxious wannabe Balzac, and Joey Russo as the dopey Donnie. Several seasoned veterans in colorful supporting parts keep this picture humming: Jack Scalia as hard-nosed police chief Moretti, Tony Sirico as jovial old-timer Captain Salie, William Atherton as smarmy rich jerk Dolan, and Paul Sorvino as the corrupt and greedy Mayor Palantine. The cheesy CGI effects, ridiculous shark attack set pieces (singer Joey Fatone gets eaten just as he's about to sing live in concert!), and the tacky over-the-top gore all add immensely to the considerable hilarity. An absolute hoot.

source: Jersey Shore Shark Attack

A ravenous horde of vicious albino bull sharks spoil everyone's fun during a Fourth of July celebration down by the shore in Seaside Heights, New Jersey. Fortunately, the local pumped-up Italian muscleheads and their slutty girlfriends decide to fight back. Director John Shepphird, working from a blithely silly script by Michael Ciminera and Richard Gnolfo, relates the uproariously inane story at a brisk pace and wisely doesn't treat this infectious foolishness seriously for a minute. Instead, Shepphird goes overboard with the goofy humor and broad Guido Italian stereotypes with always enjoyable and often sidesplitting results. The attractive and appealing cast attack the dippy material with lip-smacking zest, with especially engaging and energetic work from the delectable Melissa Molinaro as the shrill, snippy, stuck-up Nooki, Jeremy Luke as amiable macho hunk The Complication, Vinny Guadagnino as spastic TV reporter Joe Conte, Daniel Booko as obnoxious wannabe Balzac, and Joey Russo as the dopey Donnie. Several seasoned veterans in colorful supporting parts keep this picture humming: Jack Scalia as hard-nosed police chief Moretti, Tony Sirico as jovial old-timer Captain Salie, William Atherton as smarmy rich jerk Dolan, and Paul Sorvino as the corrupt and greedy Mayor Palantine. The cheesy CGI effects, ridiculous shark attack set pieces (singer Joey Fatone gets eaten just as he's about to sing live in concert!), and the tacky over-the-top gore all add immensely to the considerable hilarity. An absolute hoot.

When a film starts off with "Come in, I won't bite you. Unless you want me to" and goes downhill from there you know you are in trouble. Total waste of time, from the script (see above) to the special affects (sharks look like kids bathtub play things) , there is nothing good about this movie. The acting is what you would expect from the TV show, so, umm, not good. I think it is the first film I have seen in a while that I can think of nothing at all good to say about it. SyFy channel are known for their cheesiness, they outdid themselves this time. Unless you are a fan (and even then) avoid.

This is a movie which is SOOO atrociously bad that I am ashamed to rate it, let alone write a review. Don't even know where to start. The protagonists of the movie are despicable and hateful to watch "perform" in this atrocious movie. I read other reviews and am fully aware of the fact that this movie was made to be intentionally bad. But it's just an insult to sharks and good taste in general. And the "special" effects are to be abhorred. In fact there is nothing good about this movie, he he, except a "spectacular" dancing scene somewhere in the middle. Yeah anyway what am I getting all upset about it. If people enjoy watching it and other people have fun making it, so what. Still a bad movie though. Enjoy.

OK, If you want a movie that presumes You respect your intelligence and is realistic. then Don't watch this. But if you Really want something to watch... a BAD Sci-fi Movie.. you know the kind you laugh at because its so bad, Well, I found that it fit the bill. I gave it a 4. and I really mean 3.8 but I like 3.8 sci-fi movies. You get to see an in-sync member get eaten. thats worth a point right there. and when the Cop gives a nod to his kid to let his work out pals and girl friends that cant untie a shoe full access to the Police assault weapons and boat to go hunt the sharks. (well, it got me laughing pretty good. ) We made sure we clapped every time someone got eaten so it was a fun brainless sci-fi comedy. Not sure how intentional it was. but it HAD to be. No one could have made this without intending it to be funny. Now as a comedy I would give it low marks. it wasn't THAT funny. as a Sci-fi Shark movie, it gets low marks.. it was a horrible drama shark movie. But for a Really Bad (funny bad) movie. I give it a good solid 3.8 (rounded up to a 4) and 3.8 is about how I like my Sci-fi thrillers when I want to make fun of a movie. At least it wasn't like the last one I saw about a piece of a neutron star throwing off the earths axis that turned out to be more about the gov conspiracy. now that was a one. this .. 3.8

Sometimes movies are the most entertaining when they are at their most ridiculous. There have been numerous Shark themed movies and almost all of them have taken a strange silly approach with films like Sharktopus and the latest Jersey Shore Shark Attack. Can it possible deliver something of merit when you take the cheesy shark attack film and mix it with the unexplainably popular Jersey Shore premise? Jersey Shore Shark Attack follows the Guido's of the Jersey Shore as they are forced to team up with the Preppies to fend off giant man-eating sharks as they return again for what was only thought to be legend of the 1961 Jersey Shore attacks. The premise pretty much says it all and delivers exactly what you think it will. This is by no means a good movie, but instead one of those that will appeal to the fans of the cheesy lame horror genre and most likely hated by everyone else. Designed as a spoof of the Jersey Shore series crumpled together with a low budget version of JAWS, this movie is actually pretty entertaining. As someone who cannot stand the Jersey Shore this movie not only satisfies with the mockery, but also gives the joy of watching them suffer the over the top demise of man eating sharks. This filmed aired as one of the SyFy channel movies, but does manage to sport much better effects than some of their previous films. There are some pretty decent kills, while the rest of them are so corny and over the top it is a blast that has to be seen. Surprisingly enough this film sports a decent supporting cast of Jack Scalia, Paul Sorvino, William Atherton, Tony Sirico as well as cameos by Joey Fatone and Vinny Guadagnino, but still never seems to take itself too serious hence keeping the great cheese together. If you are fans of over the top cheese with films like Sharktopus or can't stand the Jersey Shore (like as well) then this is a must see bloody good time. http://www.examiner.com/movie-in-dallas/bobby-blakey

Wow! All I can say is "ouch". The joke is clearly ON Jersey Shore. For those who are unaware, there is a show that has been on TV for several seasons now, called "Jersey Shore". It is 'reality' - if you can really call it that. It's focus is on several people from the New Jersey area (primarily Italian Americans) and as most exploitation type shows go, it stereotypes these people. That said. Watching this movie without understanding that it is spoofing the TV show could result in you going outside and looking at the setting sun and asking questions like, "Was that really Paul Sorvino? Was he blackmailed into doing this? Does Joey Fatone really have a fan club? Is my food choice for tonight safe after seeing this?" On the other hand, if you get that it is a spoof - you might really enjoy it. It's gonna be a little painful either way, but let me assure you...there are a few funny moments...but mostly moments leaving you asking how production money was put together.

Joey Fatone gets eaten -- the Fat One gets eaten, nothing funnier than a shark being a critic for a boy band vocalist. I knew there was a joke in there somewhere, well done movie and one of those you have to watch a few times to really get howling with the macabre laughter. They said is Sharks vs. Guidos -- they were right. I missed this one on SciFi channel but damn it is a good movie to get drunk to and laugh your fool head off. I am an Italian and we don't act like this in Chicago, we're a little fatter and have long hair so to speak. But still a Mario though -- the Italian's in this aren't played by Italians for the most part but they had some actual Italians for the newscaster (funny crap right there.)

The first thing that came to mind when I saw the SyFy logo, was "oh great", because usually SyFy make these really, really bad monstrous creature movies. But still, I gave it a watch because their movies are usually so bad that they are fun to watch. As for the story in "Jersey Shore Shark Attack", well it is as with much other shark movies. Mankind is drilling in the ocean floor, and that stirs up a school of killer sharks, and the waters become unsafe to go into. The storyline was very thin and seen countless times before in other movies, but still, it was fun to watch because the sharks looked so cheesy, the characters in the movie didn't share the IQ of a birch tree combined, and the effects were just laughable. The characters in this movie was so epically lame, that it was just unbelievable. Combined amongst these steroid pumped young men and women, I think the IQ was still lower than that of a birch tree. The way they behaved, talked and what they did, it was just so over the top, and no one in their right mind would do such things, much less behave that way. Someone in the movie said, and I quote, "omg, look at that" - seriously, who talks like that? Now, I am not saying that the acting was bad, it was just questionable, and people did what they could with these super bad characters and dialogue that the had to work with. And what was up with the names of these characters? They were just downright stupid; TC, BJ, Nooki, J-Moni and Balzac. And the way those steroid muscle-men were walking, they looked like constipated dolls sitting on Popsicle sticks. Joey Fatone is in the movie, still cashing in on the former Nsync celebrity status. Well, aside from that, then he gets eaten by a shark that just comes out of nowhere, jumps out, swallows him with a massive splatter of blood, and then apparently goes back into the water. That scene, despite being hilarious, was just so bad. How did that shark even get there? Amazing with fireworks nowadays, apparently the firecrackers these people had packed such a sonic blast that it was able to knock a grown woman off the rocks and into the water. That scene was just so stupid. Not to mention the roman candle shooting underwater. What? And lets not leave out the unforgettable scene with the fireworks in the boat and the following explosion. It just has to be seen to actually be believed. And you just got to love those adventurous, bold sharks that manage to get to water so shallow that it only reaches up to the middle of the lower calves of a grown man, and still manage to snatch itself a meal, despite the shark being way to big to even swim there. Or those wonderful moments when sharks start attacking the pillars that support and hold up the seaside boardwalk, because we all know that it happens every day in Jersey. When the shark kept bobbing up out of the water at the side of the boat, it just looked like something out of a "whack-a-mole" game. It was so hilarious. And to make it even better, it was the worst CGI shark in the history of movies. Epic. Just epic! Despite all these flaws and faults, then "Jersey Shore Shark Attack" was actually fun entertainment. Why? Well because it was so over the top cheesy and bad, and I sincerely hope that the movie was making fun of itself and the shark genre. Not to mention that the Jersey police don't even have their weapon securely locked away, as TC could just walk in there and take whatever he wanted. No security, no locks, no weapons locker, no nothing. It was just hilarious. Will you ever go in the water again?