Jack and the Beanstalk

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*Contains spoilers! *Contains spoilers! *Contains spoilers! This movie was okay for kids, the jokes were not rude yet one by Grayson, Was heading the wrong way, luckily jack stops him. And the use of the word "Badonkadonk" i think that's how you spell it, Never mind. The fact that jacks dad is dead does allow one dramatic scene that is not ruined by Grayson. Also the fact that this movie was poorly written is quite an open topic for me, the jokes were, well we seen these jokes, in past movies or even youtube videos, so while nothing really new here, some jokes stood out. Whenever someone mentions Jack and the beanstalk, i think Crappy plays, not terrible movies, and poor acting, this was one of them, now no disrespect for Colin it was his first ever movie, and he got a part that was get him little stardom but the kid was something like 12 when this was made,and it was not even in the cinemas, or not advertised well, he has a lot of time to make a fool of himself. But also a lot of time to get a better movie part. I know this is long, and i may seem like a jerk, but you should see me review music, i get insane over it. So this movie was poorly written, mediocre performances and is very little boring as it starts with bad jokes, and feel like another cheap play, this movie was not the worst movie, but its no charmer either, 3/10

Strange film, very good cast with a pantomime script and what must have been an expensive set which looked incredibly cheap. Little things bugged me like the gap around the eys of the monsters mask.... I don't get how they didn't fill it in to look better! Gave it 5 stars out of 10 for the simple fact my child sat through it and enjoyed it and it kept me relatively interested.

GOOD INTERESTING STORY THAT IS FUN AND PRETTY EASY TO FOLLOW = 1/2 Star MEMORABLE DIALOGUE = 1 Star FEEL A PULL TO WATCH IT AGAIN = 0 Stars MUSIC OR SCORE STANDS OUT = 1/2 Star NO NOTICEABLE PLOT HOLES = 0 Stars STORY GETS RESOLVED OR FEELS COMPLETE IN SOME WAY = 1 Star I PERSONALLY LIKE OR FEEL A CONNECTION TO THIS STORY = 0 Stars MEMORABLE OR LIKABLE CHARACTERS = 1 Star MOST THINGS ABOUT THE STORY COULD ACTUALLY HAPPEN OR ARE BELIEVABLE = 0 Stars STORY ISN'T BORING OR REPETITIVE = 0 Stars A funny movie for kids that puts a whole new spin on Jack and the Beanstalk. There are many familiar faces in this film and it's a wonder why it bombed. The story is creative and somewhat funny even for adults. It's almost like a unintentional trippy movie to laugh at with friends. This story is cliche but so is the original story right?

Overall, it was a good movie. My favorite character was Grayson. I liked his sense of humor. In the beginning when they showed how Jack had a crush on a mysterious girl, I was concerned that the movie would lose it's G rating like some other movies with kids but the movie was kept clean. At times, the dialogue was a bit confusing. I believe it was because the writers were trying to introduce an interesting concept or moral but was having a hard time simplifying it. The storyline is fairly easy to follow. The different twists and turns of the story left the story interesting and with some questions. Like, what happened to the father after he escaped? But, as I said, it was an overall good movie. I like that there is a bit of a 90s vibe to it. It makes the movie more wholesome.

So I caught this on Encore Family the other night and half way through I was wondering why I hadn't heard of this version of 'Jack and the Beanstalk' before this. It's draped in a slew of stars from Gilbert Gottfried to Chloë Grace Moretz as well as amazing cameos from Chevy Chase to Katey Sagal with James Earl Jones as the voice of the giant. Jack (played by Colin Ford in his debut film role) is an outcast at school, he doesn't quite fit in to the fairy tale sort of scene where his classmates like Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and Prince Charming (Billy Unger) excel. On top of that he is dogged by the stigma of his absentee father who famously deserted his family and left them for poor. A chanced meeting with a mysterious shopkeeper changes the course of his life forever as he embarks on a journey of heroism, friendship and redemption. Christopher Lloyd co-stars.

Once you realise that the director works there n the make-up department for most of his life (and still today) you can see why this over acted, badly written, terribly cast sh*t flick is so bad. What you can't believe or understand is how he was allowed to direct it. There must be a much more interesting story there. The writers have only written animated scrips before, so no live film experience which explains why every character in the famous tale is so 1 dimensional. Cameos don't add anything and I sWear you can see the girls eyes moving in some scenes as she reads off dummy cards. Just crap.