I Was a 7th Grade Dragon Slayer

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source: I Was a 7th Grade Dragon Slayer

Well, this wasn't at all what I had expected it to be. But the fault is entirely mine alone, because I could just have read up on the synopsis, checked the production year and done some research, instead of just being blinded by Lea Thompson's name and the title of the movie. This is a children's movie, possibly even a family movie, and as such, it should be said that the movie is to be taken lightly for what it is; a light-hearted adventure comedy for the young audience. The story is about Arthur and his friends who venture into the local sewers, acting as knights of the square table, searching for monsters. And just one day they happen to stumble upon Bart, a blue-skinned troll living in the sewers. With the impeding disaster of an old, evil dragon being awakened, the children and the troll have to seek the help of Shane, a game creator. Storywise, then it is quite suitable for a young audience, especially those who enjoy the fantasy genre. For the more adult audience, well, then "Adventures of a Teenage Dragonslayer" doesn't really offer much. It was nice to sea Lea Thompson and Eric Lutes back together on a screen again. Those who have seen "Caroline in the City" will know what I am talking about here. "Adventures of a Teenage Dragonslayer" didn't really captivate me or interest me in a grand way. But of course, I wasn't watching the movie with my family, so that might have been a part of it. And I was utterly annoyed with the way that the troll sounded exactly like Smeagol from "The Lord of the Rings", that was just too much. I am rating "Adventures of a Teenage Dragonslayer" a 4 out of 10 stars, because for the younger audience the movie does offer some entertainment.

OK, so it ain't 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer'... Heck, it isn't even 'How to Train Your Dragon' or 'Monster House'!... What it is, however, despite the awful CGI and campy production (which may actually be a "plus")... This movie is just plain fun for children or any adult who ever played a "Trading Card" game in a previous life. (I actually was not one of them) ...or any other adult who can suspend dis-believability for the sake of their geek-children. 'Kids, these days! :-) IMDb requires the following lines to be a 'Legitimate' posting: "Why does IMDb" "Require me to post 10 lines of text" "When I thought I had adequetly reviewed this movie" "In less...?"

I picked this up for two dollars out of a bargain bin at the dollar store, and it was worth every penny. This movie is fairly generic and harmless, with one dimensional characters and a predictable plot. If this had a larger budget, it would have been far less entertaining. To start with, it seems like the film has three sets - a local school, somebody's house, and an abandoned building (? Whatever it is, it definitely isn't the sewer it's supposed to be). They also didn't seem to like multiple takes, as the camera is wobbly in spots and the footage sometimes inexplicably sped up. The most memorable thing about this movie (other than its terrible, addicting theme song) is the cgi. They obviously put effort into the creatures, as they don't look half bad, but they fail miserably at everything else (walls don't break into cubes, and don't get me started on the opening credits). All in all, the movie is harmless. I wouldn't particularly recommend it as anything but a time passer. It should entertain kids. It certainly entertained my friends and I, and we're a group of twenty somethings that hunt for bad movies. By no means was this the worst thing I've seen.

A group of kids is running through the secret basement of their middle school, trying to escape a fire-breathing dragon. Wait, let's back up ... Arthur, Tim and Natalie are the Knights of the Square Table. They take their fantasy card game way too seriously, but it turns out someone needs to. Arthur's parents have split up and it's all poor Laura can do to raise him on her own. Arthur's father is now with Officer Annie, who wants very much to be Arthur's mom. Vice-Principal Metz lets her son Larry get away with bullying Arthur. If Larry did something wrong, it must have been Arthur's fault. So Arthur gets suspended and Laura gets lectured on her inadequate mothering skills. It's not Laura's fault that Arthur keeps sneaking out and engaging in risky behavior with his friends, including running through the sewers. But something is definitely going on. Carpet cleaners in Arthur's neighborhood need Hazmat suits. And Arthur and his friends find a blue troll named Bart who talks like Jar-Jar Binks. That isn't all. Besides Bart, there is someone else who is trying to bring back the evil dragon leader Darksmoke. To get help, the kids go to a convention where Shane, the creator of the fantasy card series, is signing autographs. At first Shane dismisses the kids as wackos, but he is finally convinced the cards he created are based on reality. There is a reason for this, as he figures out later. Can Shane and the kids save the world? And will Shane end up with Laura? I think they like each other. This movie should not be taken too seriously. It's just a live-action cartoon with plenty of laughs, although Wendie Malick does a very good job as the over-the-top tyrant of a vice-principal. Lea Thompson seems frustrated but has her moments. Bart is adorable in a creepy way. These kids are brilliant, claiming to be designing a project for the school science fair. But it's much more than that. While the script may not show much intelligence, the kids sure seem to. The dragon is genuinely scary. This is a family movie but not really for younger kids. And it does have the obligatory potty humor. Violence is mostly cartoonish, but one scene is pretty upsetting. I'm Wendie Malick's age so you know the so-called music wasn't intended for my generation. If you're a kid, you'll probably like it.

ADVENTURES OF A TEENAGE DRAGONSLAYER is a lamentable B-movie children's fantasy feature in which a bunch of do-gooding kids come up against all manner of opposition in their daily lives: obnoxious bullies, quirky science teachers, disapproving parents, and, of course, an evil dragon living in the sewers which needs slaying. Despite the odd similarity to IT, this is a very poor production suffering from an unfunny script and mannered performances from the young cast. The story just sort of skips from scene to scene with little continuity and the pacing is really slow despite lots of different ingredients in the plot. BACK TO THE FUTURE's Lea Thompson has the decency to look embarrassed at being cast, but the real problem is that appalling, embarrassingly bad CGI animation.

Looked this movie up before watching it with my family. Rotten Tomatoes showed it having a 60% fresh rating. I looked no further and turned this horrible mess on. The basic story was fine for a children/family movie. But wow, the acting, the sets, the CGI, and the plot holes killed this through and through. Then I went back to Rotten Tomatoes and found that there were only 5 Critic ratings. Meaning only 3 out of 5 had to give if a fresh rating. And there it was. The 3 fresh ratings were for a documentary with a similar name about skateboarding with no text. The 2 real ratings were nasty. They told it how it was. Then, the viewer ratings were 16% out of over 300. Now we are getting more realistic. This movie is the type of movie that you torture people with, the kind of movie that turns the youth of America into zombies for sub mediocrity.

My favorite character was "Bart" the troll with "Tim" coming in a close second. Everyone did a good job and...I'll be looking for the sequel!!! The children were engaging and smart. The budding romance between the two adults was funny. Lea Thompson falling asleep in her very "odd" breakfast was great. I particularly liked the theme song and noticed the children in the theater left singing it. The game theme was also timely since so many young children play so many games these days. Is this a real game? It should be if it isn't. Maybe the producers will devise and market the game. The dragon was pretty scary but not successful and the golden dragon at the end had the potential of being scary but had such a sweet face!

Where do we even begin? For starters the computer generated dragons didn't even touch the ground of the scene. We're pretty sure the potions were Gatorade. What is a "Carpet Emergency??????" Couldn't they have found a better costume for the troll? I mean really, to make him have three fingers, they just taped together the actor's center two and wrapped the double fingers in blue tape! We're pretty sure that his makeup was done by a clown company and given the fact that they fired the troll designer just prior to filming, maybe a clown was the only replacement they could get! And those black burned bits? Normally they wouldn't move like jello when touched. And by the way, since when does a group of 12 year olds count as being TEENagers???????? The one positive? We laughed like crazy at the STUPIDITY of this movie. We can't think of a movie that we've thought was more stupid than this one. Even Space Jam gets a higher vote. Save your rental bucks. It isn't worth the investment.