Horrors of Spider Island

Moviecut—Horrors of Spider Island

source: Horrors of Spider Island

Ein Toter hing im Netz

Those that put too much thought into this movie are missing the point. It was made for a few reasons; one to make a buck, and two, to bring in guys to watch scantily clad, exotic European women try to act, and I guarantee they weren't there to watch them act. They were there to watch the actresses run around in their bikinis and garter belts. Think about it, the ultimate male fantasy. To be alone on an island with several beautiful (and presumably willing) ladies. Is it cheap? Sure. Is it poorly done? Perhaps. But this movie is no different or worse than the other B-grade European sexploitation or even American films of the same genre. It's good for a laugh and the women were certainly enticing then as they would be now. Unless you're Leonard Maltin or Roger Ebert, I say watch it and enjoy. Don't try to figure it out.

The HORRORS of being trapped with lovely women for days and days! One cannot imagine the terrible, horrible, mind-blowing pressure that must have been gnawing at Gary's very soul...oh, who am I kidding? Character depth is all three dimensional here, as in "I wish this movie had been filmed in 3D". Girls in ripped dresses, towels, bikinis, and floral panties, and is there a downside? Well, yes, there is the terror of bad dubbing, and the fear of back story being told in a painfully ungainly way. Thank God for MST, and it is a crime they are gone. I miss them. Anyhoo, if ya get the chance, and can take the intense heat, check out this rockin' flick.

A plane load of beautiful models ends up on an island somewhere. When one of the men in the party is bitten by a spider he turns into a weird werewolf like monster, or something. Nonsensical drive-in horror classic (and I use the term loosely) played for years under various titles and in various forms some supposedly more racy than others. It's a mildly amusing film that is best seen with an audience that can talk back to the screen or can watch it with out really paying attention to it. The problem with the film is that in addition to vapid dialog the film has long stretches of tedious inaction. I'm guessing the producers need it to get the film up to feature length, unfortunately the result is a film that can put the audience to sleep. Kind of worth a look for those who like horror films, of questionable quality or those interested in Drive in classics.

This is one bad movie. From the plane crash at full speed (they must have been in that inflatable raft already inside the plane) to being washed ashore on an island populated by some spiders who only are seen a couple times, this goes nowhere. It's jiggle and cheesecake and exploitation. The women are a pack of dancers who run around in skimpy outfits, led by agent Gary, who, unfortunately turns into spider man (no, not that one). A better name would be spider-head. Of course, the two guys who could be counted on to save them are a couple of lecherous sailors who take advantage of the situation. One dance scene goes on for about five minutes. Every so often, someone seems to sense danger, but no one does anything to provide for protection against it. Gary is running around trying to bite people and ends up in dire straits (or something).

Yes, it's a terrible movie. But it's quite fun watching a crashed plane full of models spend their time go-go dancing and skinny dipping on Spider Island instead of looking for food or rescue. A great one when you're in the mood for grade-Z movies, and a terrific MST3K episode.

Could Alex D'Arcy look _any_ more like Zorro and the dad from Lost in Space? Maybe the Fuhrer's Third Reich cloning experiments paid off, in some weird "Boys From Brazil" variant as Hitler was smitten with Guy Williams' manly charms (although that would make _more_ sense than 'Boys From Brazil', wouldn't it?). Anyhoo, this is the kind of thinly disguised soft-* garbage that Cinemax and Showtime now inundate us with, made with a 60's sensibility. In other words, basically it's an excuse for a horde of (60's-scantily clad) women to lounge about and have (60's-almost) sex with men and each other. The budget is about on a par with the soft-* stuff "science fiction/horror" we see on those movie outlets (check out Petticoat Planet or Damien's Seed sometime), and you'll see what I mean. There's no plot, and no real climax. The monster is driven off into never-before-revealed-or-mentioned quicksand and dies. The end.

Plane crash leaves dancers stranded on island and in danger when a big spider turns their manager into a monster... sort of. Cheap, utterly awful foreign film was originally shot as a 'skin flick' over seas, but re-edited and released in America as a horror picture. As you may have imagined the story is laughable, the acting (and dubbing) horrid, the music is flat as a piece of paper, and the 'special FX' non-existing. Sure, B fans may find it a worth laugh or two, but even to this B movie lover it's too bad for words or your time. BOMB out of ****