Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers

I wholeheartedly agree with earlier reviewers that said this movie is one of the best of its genre--unfortunately that genre is worthless crap. This is an early example of horror/comedy "scream queen" movies, featuring two of the more ubiquitous screams queens Michelle Bauer and Linnaea Quigley, and directed by one of the pioneers of these kind of films (along with Dave DeCoutea and Jim Wynorski)--Fred Olen Ray. This movie, however, is surprisingly creative and long on plot, and it actually has more than one set and a budget that approaches whole numbers. It is also genuinely funny in places. These kind of films were largely inspired by the 70's Roger Corman-produced films like "Hollywood Boulevard" or "Caged Heat" (Jim Wynorski actually got his start with Corman--thank's a lot, Roger), but there's a good reason many of the directors of those films went onto bigger and (usually) better things while the three amigos here have kept doing this same thing year after year. There's a big difference between seriously making schlocky films that nevertheless demonstrate real talent, and just mugging your way through self-consciously campy "cult films" in attempt to disguise a total lack of it. Olen Ray, at least, has a genuine love of film which shows in some of his best work (Wynorski, as he himself brags in every interview, is more interested in improving his own dating life than in making good movies, while the openly gay DeCouteau is just a hack by any standard). As for the "scream queens", Quigley and Bauer, they certainly camp it up as usual, but make enough of effort that they seem more like genuine actresses than strippers here. This is the kind of the movie that really floats to the top of the HUGE pool of worthless crap movies that have been churned out since the early 80's, but it also, mind you, doesn't quite float ABOVE that pool. If you like these kinds of movies, of course, you won't want to miss it. And for everyone else?--well, you could do worse, I guess.

I have seen this movie at least once a year for decades now. I even have an annual showing about the middle of June, because the story takes place then. After all this time, I still can't get enough of it. It's not the chainsaws or even the * (which are magnificent!). It's the dialogue. It's brilliant. I write screenplays and novels and I always come back to this flick as the wellspring of my inspiration. I wish I could write something half as good. In addition, I love the plot, so original. It really makes you think about whether our immigration laws are too lax or have we let religious freedom go to far. (Yes, that bit is from the movie, but I couldn't phrase it better.) Now as to the soundtrack, the composer, Michael Perilstein, did a masterful job. It's hypnotic. I even bought it and listen to it in my car. Michael, if you ever read this; I bought your book as well. :-) Surely there is a special place in heaven for director Fred Olen Ray and his cast and crew. God bless each and everyone of you. Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers will live beyond eternity! Thank you, thank you, thank you for making this movie.

Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers (1987) * 1/2 (out of 4) This film seemed to become a cult favorite before it was even released due to the wonderful title and the VHS cover that featured some beautiful women carrying a large chainsaw. The movie deals with a P.I. (Jay Richardson) trying to locate a missing girl (Linnea Quigley) and discover a group of hooker who are chopping and dicing men with their chainsaws for a mysterious stranger (Gunnar Hansen). The title alone makes this a cult item but there's very little here to actually make a good movie. Horror fans will like seeing the cult genre stars and there's plenty of nudity but there's not enough here to carry the short 76-minute running time. We can start with some of the good stuff, which includes the rather non-stop nudity from the beautiful cast members. No one will ever accused Quigley and Michelle Bauer of not being incredibly attractive so seeing them running around in their birthday suits will certainly give many a reason to check this film out. The death scenes are all incredibly silly with fake looking body parts being thrown around along with buckets of fake looking blood. The few death scenes look campy enough to put a smile on your face but there's not nearly enough for a film like this. One really bad thing in the movie are all the lame jokes dealing with the Private 'Dick'. These jokes are quite childish and sadly they're never funny and we have to put up with way too many of them. The performances are what you'd expect from a film like this but outside the beauties we do get to see Hansen outside his Leatherface role. The movie has way too many dry spots to really work but I'm sure the title and the cast will have this thing getting new viewers for many years to come.

I first saw Hollywood chainsaw hookers at a friends house,i thought it was wild cheesy silly and gory.and during the 80s i was a huge fan of Linnea quigley,who was one of the stars of chainsaw hookers,it also stars Fred olen ray regular jay Richardson as a private eye poking fun at the 1940s private eye movies.also the original leather-face from Texas chainsaw massacre(gunner Hansen)as the leader of the chainsaw wielding hotties.cult scream queen Michelle Bauer plays a hooker named Mercedes,who does a totally * dance to an imitation Elvis Presley tune.just before hacking up a client with a chainsaw.look for tough girl actress dawn wildsmith as a cackling bubble headed blonde hooker named Lori.as with most Fred olen ray movies its fun but not Oscar material who cares b-movies are great without them we would have to suffer with a-movies. that are not always good.i personally liked Hollywood chainsaw hookers.kudos to Fred olen ray for his unique style he brings to his movies.call me crazy but i give Hollywood chainsaw hookers 8 out of 10.

Incredibly cheap, incredibly talky horror comedy that's amusing in the schlockiest way imaginable. It's one of those films that are known as "deliberately" bad (like "Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes"), which means they are easier to take than films that were meant to be good and turned out bad....but they're still bad films, make no mistake about that. This one has a sense of humor that makes "Naked Gun" look subtle (the private detective/hero: "I guess being a dick is a 24-hour job"), but unfortunately not quite as many laughs. (*1/2)

Raymond Chandler re-done as a cable cheapie. Mr. private eye's narration was an attempt to give this mess a little class. It succeeded, it gave it only a little class. Seeing Gunnar Hansen (Leatherface, as if you didn't know) play the cult leader was a trip. But I think I understand why he doesn't get many speaking roles. He looked great, but the delivery was hammier than a pig farm. The ladies, including a then famous Linnea Quigley, looked gorgeously evil too. And sexy as well. The ending was hardly a surprise, it was just a case of WHEN was it going to happen. And I liked seeing the late Fox Harris aka Jerry Fox in a cameo.

Gunnar Hansen leads a cult that worships the idea of dismembering people with chainsaws. His main followers are a group of hookers with innocent Linnea Quigley falling in with the group. Could have been a lot better and funnier for that matter if it just had a bigger budget. Still cult possibilites are almost certain and the scene where one of the hookers covers up her Elvis painting before killing one of her johns is a gem. Unrated; Extreme Graphic Violence & sexual Content, Profanity and Nudity.

With cheesy B-movies, I normally stay away from rating them for tech stuff, simply because its' silly...They probably put as much in this movie as I pay for half the utilities every month! What I do look at is sheer entertainment factor. I've felt I've gotten my moneys' worth with quite a few z-grade schlockfests, what they have that big budget poo barns lack is energy and enthusiasm, and lack of pretension...(How much money did they put into the latest "GODZILLA"?) With this film, you know within the first few minutes that you cant take it seriously in any way shape or form...(A hooker is interrogated by police, where she describes a chainsaw as, 'a sexual enhancement device') The filmmakers dont hide the fact that they're making crap, they reveled in it! And you can tell they had fun making this twisted little gem, it's all in the actors' smiles...they look like they're about to burst out laughing at any moment. A simplistic plot about a P.I. on the search for a runaway threads the movies together. It turns out the runaway is apart of an ancient chainsaw worshipping cult, when he tries to infiltrate thats when things get really sticky. His voiceover narration is funny, and provides 50% of the laughs in it. A silly piece of crap, but hey, what do expect? 10 out 10 on the B-movie scale By the way, this does have quite a bit of nudity in it, so if you're easily offended, look elsewhere for cheesy thrills...

"Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers" is one of the best examples of those trashy, cheesy, horror/spoofs of the 80s (Toxic Avenger and Blood Diner would be included in there as well) that I so fondly adore. The movie is short, sweet, and to the point but I enjoyed every excruciatingly bad B-movie moment, which by the way, is accompanied by the corniest one-liners you've ever heard since Freddy Krueger. Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers concerns (what else?) a cult of chainsaw massacring babes who use fresh limbs from their victims to serve to their "master" (I'm assuming this is where Gunnar Hansen comes in). And boy does he look embarrassed. One classic scene involves a * Michelle Bauer messily hacking up some poor old sap while listening to Elvis Prestley. The look on her face is priceless. Blood, a wooden Gunnar Hansen, laughs aplenty, cheesy rock music, scream queens Michelle Bauer and Linnea Quigley (her shining moment is the "dance of the double chainsaws!") all wrapped into one...don't miss it.

One of the auteur Olen Ray's finest works is this little gem. It features two of the Eye Candy Hall of Fame All-Century team members, Linnea Quigley and Michelle Bauer. Every synopsis or review seems to contain the words camp, horror-comedy, and gore. While it is all that, we would like to comment on the nifty dance numbers. The auteur Olen Ray has added some eye-popping choreography which allows Ms. Quigley and Ms. Bauer to put their bodies in motion. The sultry Ms. Quigley performs the Virgin Dance of the Double Chainsaws. We fell like a virgin Brazilian rainforest watching her. The majestic beauty Ms. Bauer does a striptease to an Elvis tune that is pure graceland. Proving she ain't no hound dog, Ms. Bauer's character will take you to Heartbreak Hotel but that's alright. As a word of warning, you might feel like a giant Redwood as you view this film, but both these ladies wield a wicked chainsaw and can cut you down to size.