Hell Ride

Everything negative written about this movie is true, but mainly based on high expectations ("Tarantino" in the titles is absolutely misguiding). However if you have some free time, cola or beer and snack, do not expect ANY fresh idea from a movie and just want to relax - you can go and watch it without hesitations. No really, that's the good "upper B-class" with all attributes of biker's movie like dust, guns, leather jackets, shootings in desert and babes. Authors even added another "cool" killing device similar to cattle gun in "No Country for Old Men". Protagonist's ("Pistolero") face is so sour like he has been fed half-a-dozen of lemons through his rectum, but other actors honestly do their job. Just don't expect anything else besides of features described above and you likely to be satisfied.

To say this movie is bad would be to simplify matters to the extreme and with the exception of Hell Ride's plot, nothing in this life is that simple. So what's wrong with it exactly... Larry Bishop. The guy must have balls the size of two small dogs to think he could pull this off. Bikes, beer and booty makes for one great cocktail but bikes, beer, booty and bishop... not so good. The story is interesting, the theme is great, the cast, characters and acting are over the top but welcome, hell, even the directing is good but Larry, why did you have to put yourself in it as the lead? Casting yourself as the lead is a step too far. This isn't going to get you any leading actor roles but will most certainly deem you to a life of character bit parts and walk ons. Larry successfully delivers some of the most ham-fisted dialogue in the most atrocious of displays of acting ever witnessed on celluloid. I can't even bring myself to disgust the batman-esq vocal shenanigans but it's poor. I am beginning to meander almost as badly as this movie. So in a nutshell: Great cast, great concept, compelling direction, terrible, terrible lead acting.

If you're not into the 3B's "Beer, Bikes & Booty" then this movie may not be your thing. But if you are then it can be a fun ride. Michael Madsen is at his best in roles like this. He is right at home on a bike. It's great to see someone who can actually ride in a movie about bikers. And Dennis Hopper? Biker film legend. It's awesome to see him back on a bike. There's lots of nudity & some pretty graphic murders so again -it's not for everyone. Vinnie Jones is the coolest guy on the planet & he rock as 'Billy Wings.' There all kinds of bikes - Harleys, Choppers, even a Triumph. That's the way it was in the biker films and this is a great tribute to the old biker films. Fast & Fun. Here's the link to the trailer: HTTP://www.comingsoon.net/hellrideredband.php

Once upon a time there was a beautiful maiden who was slain by evil rogues, leaving behind a lost child, a lost treasure and a promise (for a loyal warrior to uphold.) If you strip (no pun intended) away the blood and nudity you are left with a unique, beautiful story. I admit ,in the first 20 minutes I was confused by the many characters; what they all meant in the context of this modern day fairytale. But through the many deaths of bad guys, many tongue in cheek jokes, and very unique looking strippers, it all came together in a way that was logical, and beautiful. I don't want to post spoilers, but please do not walk out on this movie because of the lengthy periods of sex and gore; it will all be worth it at the end.

I have had more boring stretches of 80 minutes in my life, but none are coming to mind right now. Hell Ride is based on the retro cult 70s theme that Tarantino brought back, and did right, in movies like Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs. The problem with Hell Ride is, unlike PF and RD, the story is garbage and so is character development. How many movies does Bishop think he can blatantly steal from? The brief case in Pulp Fiction, the air gun in No Country, etc. etc. Speaking of Bishop what the hell is he doing acting in this movie? I couldn't help but laugh at those scenes where he's standing with his pelvis trusted out, desperately trying to seem like some hardened biker. Nothing in this movie is believable. And why Dennis Hopper? Did they really need the Easy Rider motif too? I blame Larry Bishop, for his horrible plot and dialogue, not to mention his failed attempt at the leading role. Don't bother watching this movie, it's a waste of time.

These are my opinions... agree or disagree. I have watched this movie a couple of times now. I bought it, and I am glad I own it. People who are watching this movie to see "another biker" movie are going to be sorely disappointed. It is a biker movie, yes, but that isn't the point. It is about a point of view. It is about telling a story in a certain style. This movie is satirical, and you realize that if you have ever seen any of the other movies that Quentin Tarantino and Larry Bishop have made together. Sometimes, we forget, a story is just a story, a point of view. If you want to watch something that comes at you from a different angle than the usual cookie cutter movies... Something better than the usual ready, fire, aim Hollywood crap, then give this movie a chance.

Larry Bishop writes, directs and stars in this soft-core *; a plot less biker movie about nothing to do with anything. This is one of the worst movies I've ever seen. I actually felt sorry for the girls in this movie (who probably thought they were in the making of a feature film). In all reality they're making a porno. They walk on set, spend three or four days there, say some sexually themed lines to a bunch of old men - thirty years older than them - then they take off their cloths and run around naked. I can only assume this was Larry Bishops only way of getting laid. You see shot after shot directly on girls asses. Shot after shot of Bishop walking up to some random chick and grabbing her by her crotch, as if he were shaking her hand. How this crap was even funded is beyond me. There isn't one redeeming quality, or one moment in the movie that creates any kind of reaction, or shows any inclination that these people had any idea of what they were doing. If you don't see naked women all that often, then I guess this movie would be for you. If you're eleven-years-old, you might like it. The acting is awful, the writing is awful, the production is awful, and the direction is awful. It's not even worth your time renting it just so you can say you witnessed the car crash. You shouldn't even be reading these reviews. I shouldn't even be writing one.

Larry Bishop, the Writer/Actor/Director, focuses too heavily on the camera, music, and visuals. The film resorts to meaningless ramblings and vulgar monologues, which seem to have no purpose other than boring and irritating the audience. The actors experience a bumpy ride, from the film's start to finish, and are caught in one terrible smoke screen. The hell with the ride. The film is a bomb. The Victors are presented as weathered vigilantes, who seek their own form of justice for what they see as lawlessness. They are bikers, anti-heroes, and protagonists. Pistolero, played by Larry Bishop, is the revengeful leader of the pack. The Gent (Michael Madsen) is trapped in his own crossfire of chaos and psychosis. Comanche (Eric Balfour) is loyal, but mysterious. Deuce, performed by David Carradine, should have passed on the ride, and so should the ticket-buyers (if you decide to see the film, you'll be sorry, but you'll find out why). Billy Wings (Vinnie Jones) is a lewd and venomous character, completely filled with disdain. What puzzles me is how this film, with all of its continual ramblings and vulgarity, ever got anybody to invest in a ride that absolutely goes nowhere. Ticket-buyers, take my advice: don't pay for the ride. Please don't make the same mistake as the investors. The first fifteen minutes, or so, of the movie is confusing and unintelligible. The dialog, which rapidly turn into meaningless monologues, doesn't make any sense. The entire film is hell bent on going nowhere. Poor Dennis Hopper is caught in the middle of a real mess. He, too, should have passed on the ride. There are decapitated heads, slashed throats, and * females wrestling. It is clear that Bishop doesn't know where he is going with the film. He gets entirely lost. But, by the end of the ride, you just won't give a damn. Mama Mia! Stay home. And, by all means, don't take the ride. I rate this film a 1 out of 10, but this movie is so awful it deserves a zero.

The first time I watched this movie I wasn't sure I liked it. It seemed very cheesy and over the top. I didn't like the way they seemed to be trying to be like the 60's and 70's biker movies. I missed the point the first time I saw it. But there were some scenes I wanted to see again, because I had watched it late one night and didn't finish it, so I watched it a second time and I must say I liked it a little more. The next day I found myself thinking about it and wanting to watch it again to see some of the sections over again. So I watched it a third time, and not on my veranda as I had the night before, but in my private office/study and paid attention to every scene. I must say it really grew on me. It reminded me of the movie Natural Born Killers. You either 'got it' or you didn't. You either loved it or hated it. Now I read all 11 pages of reviews and I can see the film students are out in force, but this was not a film that was going to follow what your professors told you about plot and plot development. Or script writing and some other things that people seem to want to 'act' like are part of making art films. I digress. However, having made a few micro and low budget films, and being in many small budget ones as an actor, I can tell you that this movie had flavor. It was, as someone else said on another review, a movie about biker movies. It had sex, but never showed anyone HAVING sex. It showed a lots of T & A, but nothing so bad I would compare it to *, and those that do are just not living in reality. Now, was it weird? Yes. Was it Oscar winning? No. Was is good entertainment? YES! I judge a movie by a few simple things. Was it entertaining is the primary goal I seek in a movie. This one passed with flying colors. The acting was NOT that bad. The chatter between the folks was right out of those macho, campy, films this one was inspired by. Anyone who doesn't see that doesn't understand the true 'B' movie and REALLY doesn't get Bishop's idea here. Not surprising in today's film world of computer generated images and gazillion dollar blockbusters but this is different. I will again state, if you see this movie at least three times, keep an open mind, leaving all your QT wannit-to-be at home, let yourself forget all the stupid (and usually wrong) stuff your film professor told you, and allow yourself to see a movie that was meant to be a 'B' movie about 'B' movies, in other words, fun and nothing else, you just might 'get it.' And for all the folks on here talking about all the stuff that was 'stolen' from other movies, I say, show me the super duper ultra original piece you flaunt as your ideal movie and I will find the movies they stole stuff from. It is a stupid argument and ignorant at the same time. Anyone who has ever made a REAL movie will tell you that everyone 'steals' from other movies, it's called inspiration. And for the folks calling the bikers 'un real' I can tell you that you have never been around true outlaw bikers before. And you have never been to a real outlaw biker party. They are hard drinking, hard screwing, hard riding, dudes you don't mess with. You would be very surprised at all the 'old dudes' getting laid by hot younger ladies too. I would love to see the yuppie Harley types show up at a real biker rally. Oh boy. I digress again. To those who haven't seen this, don't listen to the nay sayers, see for yourself. You just might be one of the folks that 'gets it.' B-Rad-O

I seem to be in a distinct minority here. Seems like most people, to quote Roger Ebert, hated, hated, hated this movie. But I loved it. God Bless Quentin Tarantino for commissioning Lary Bishop to make this movie. God bless the Weinsteins for coming up the with the (small) budget. Saw it last night at the Egyptian Theater in Hollywood, and it did not disappoint kiddies, let me tell you. It's about time somebody made a real biker movie again, but amped up to even more sleazy, ridiculous, and glorious levels than anything produced during the Golden Age of the Motorcycle Movie, 1966-1974. I would put this one up there with The Wild Angels as one of the best biker flicks ever put to celluloid. The plot and story arc and simple, tight, and move like a French TGV train: fast! It's a short movie and it flies by. Every frame stuffed with action, menace and bad-ass attitude. All the characters are interesting and well-portrayed, if sleazy, intense, and uncompromising. There's plenty of sex and the body count is high, but none of it feels gratuitous: these are violent people walking a razor's edge, tying up lose ends that have been plaguing their lives for many decades. It's all an organic part of the tale. Larry Bishop pulls off the lead role with cool detachment, and Michael Madsen is great, doing what he does best, all cocky swagger and easy dominance of the screen. Great performances all around. David Carradine doesn't have much to do, but at least he is here. Great to see Dennis Hopper on a motorcycle once again! Wearing the fringe jacket! Maybe for the last time? I hope not. Do notice the trademarked Tarantino shot of looking up from inside the small enclosed box. I guess Larry got permission from Quentin to do that. Or maybe Quentin himself filmed it; I believe he did a small amount of second-unit shooting on this film. You'll know it when you see it, it's in the last scene of the movie. I just had to laugh when I saw that shot. The Tarantino stamp all the way. If I didn't know any better, I could have been convinced that Q. actually directed this joint. If you are in any way, shape or form, a fan of biker movies, or Quentin Tarantino, or extreme film-making, or classic drive-in movie fare, you MUST check out this ride. This is one HELL RIDE you will not soon forget. Try and see it at a drive-in (one of the 100 or so left around the USA) if you can! 6/1/10: I was right. It was the last time Dennis Hopper wore that jacket. Too bad. R.I.P. Dennis.