Hard Rock Zombies

source: Hard Rock Zombies

What the heck was this supposed to be? A combination of cheesy 80's glam rock music videos and horror? This movie has bad acting, bad effects and a storyline that isn't very well strung together or explained. I caught this on The Horror Channel the other night and i wish that i hadn't wasted around 90 minutes of my life. Why the f*** does the movie keep flashing back to when they are in the van at the beginning at the most irrelevant times? Adolf Hitler? Please!!! This movie could be pretty good if it had a slightly better budget and was pushed in the right direction i.e. by professionals. Also, zombies don't frickin walk like robots! If you are in aid of a zombie comedy that is properly made then watch The Return Of The Living Dead which was made around the same time as this and actually does it right then once you have got done with that watch the king of zombie spoofs which is The Return Of The Living Dead Part 2. I don't mind stupid films but half of this is a bloody music video that cuts between scenes for far too long. Stay away unless you like Bon Jovi (urghhh), then you will feel right at home. 2/10

I understand that people don't like B-Movies, but I Saw this movie when I was 10 and it converted me to a rock musician. Now, I'm 29yrs of age and I'm a professional musician and I have this movie to thank for it. I still have a copy of this movie and watch it whenever I want to escape this crazy world. To say that this movie is stupid or cheesy reflects only how closed minded people are to b-movies. I feel that not every movie is meant to be a commercial blockbuster *(which gets sickening with teenie boppers everywhere)and are meant to be fun for watcher as well as the acotors. I feel that this movies is for the creative and imaginative. I loved the soundtrack as well. Very funny and very cool. This is what movies were before the sickening computer era. KEEP ROCKIN....................HARDROCK ZOMBIEITE TILL THE END.

I just recently upgraded my cable and I now a channel that shows the worst of the worst movies I have personally have ever seen! But I love it! I will not mention the channels name but it shows some real beauties! Anyhow I had the bittersweet pleasure of surveying this turd called Hard rock zombies. It is is usually hard to say that a movie is the "worst movie ever" but not with this movie. I think it was actually worse than Dracula 3000 at least there was some actors I recognized in Dracula 3000. I guess not knowing any of the actors in Hard rock zombies is a good thing, It saves me from seeing them in another movie with friends and having to explain to them where I saw that actor before forcing me to talk about this movie again. If you have not seen this movie try to find something more productive to do with about an hour and a half. Anything at all!

I was given this film on DVD as a present by a friend. Giving this movie a 1 on a scale of 1 to 10 is not fair. Negative numbers should be possible. Granted, its so terrible that its slightly funny (like when and old woman turns out to be Hitler in disguise), for the most part this movie was simply terrible. You have to suffer through an entire sequence of these Bon Jovi looking idiots dancing around to music that is more like really bad disco/elevator music. I like 80's cheese metal. There was none in this movie. It is the single least convincing zombie movie ever made. The production values and special effects of this movie amounted to effects that you can make yourself (even if you are mentally retarded and can only use your feet). The zombies simply look like people with flour dashed on them and lots of mascara. Most real bad movies at least have something that passes for a plot. Not this one. It was just several scenes put together with more "zombies" (people with flour sprinkled on them) at the end than that at the beginning. I dunno. Maybe I should have been high when I watched this. I just felt like an hour of my life was wasted on something that was so terrible you could not even laugh at it. It was like watching a car accident, but a car accident at least has really good special effects. The CIA ought to use this movie to interrogate terrorists.

I believe that it was the directors intent to revive the flagging musical genre, and combine it with a cheesy horror plot line. My Brother and I first saw this movie back in the mid 80's , and it was the title that first grabbed my attention as a denim wearing metal head. I watched the movie then and thought it was crap, though the bass line that bought things back to life was brilliant. This movie then fell into obscurity and I have not given it a thought for the near on 20 years since. The other night I saw that Hard Rock Zombies was on the Horror Channel, and the vague memory of a mulleted bass player killing a spider and then bringing it back to life again struck in my mind. I decided to watch it again hoping that the passage of the years would make me understand what was once a nonsensical plot a bit more and hopefully make this painfully bad movie better. So on a nostalgia trip, I decided to record this drivel of a movie, after necking a few cans of strong lager to muster the dutch courage required to face this 80's timewarp, I sat down to watch, and guess what?.......It's still a crap movie, the plot is no easier to understand, the old man that looks like Scottie from Star Trek that half way through turns into Hitler is just absurd, the mulleted bass player looks a little dated now, but that riff is still brilliant. Give this movie a wide arc. If I were to recommend this movie to anyone, deaf and blind people would be at the top of my list as well as people suffering from chronic insomnia. easy contender for the biggest waste of everyone's time and labour EVER. best part(s) the blonde hitchhiker girl in the shower......worth watching for that alone.

The tepid, dreadful zombie flick scrapes the bottom of the barrel, in a way that is truly insulting to barrels. Every possible cliché is driven home with all the subtlety of a steam hammer; every aspect of professional production is gleefully shredded by the intense non-talent in this film. BUT... You simply have to see it. A mess beyond all messes. Oh, and stink-fans, your boy Sam Mann, from the equally-wretched "Roller Blade", is in this too (as the 'drummer'). In fact, our boy Mann was in several Donald G. Jaclson stinkers, moostly of the Roller Blade variety. Now he's in this pile of cow pooo too - isn't life sweet??? ;=8)

A simply hideous and allegedly cutesy'n'campy tongue-in-cheek horror spoof with a numbingly cheesy heavy metal rock music gimmick. A pathetic hair band called Holy Moses agrees to perform a gig in a nowheresville Northern California hamlet. Unbeknownst to the band, there's a strange family of murderous freaks in the immediate area led by a still alive Adolph Hitler (depicted here as a fat, lecherous old goat who makes love to Eva Braun while his deformed dwarf grand children watch). The band gets killed by the freaks, but come back as vengeful zombies. The band proceeds to butcher the family, only to have them return from the dead as zombies as well. The freaky family naturally attack the surrounding uptight square townspeople. Next thing you know zombies are everywhere. They engage in all kinds of broad, ridiculous, groan-inducing stupidity: a midget zombie tries to eat a cow, a little old lady zombie who also transforms into a werewolf (!?) hobbles about in her wheelchair, another midget zombie hitchhikes on the side of the road, the band performs a snazzy goth-rock number for a talent agent, and the jerky townies decide to sacrifice a local virgin to the teeming zombie horde. Sound good? Well, it sure ain't man. For starters, the tiresomely arch and pseudo-hip comic tone affects a gratingly smug and off-putting forced sense of wannabe funky-cool posturing. The gormless, sophomoric humor resorts to demeaning racial stereotypes and dopey pun-ridden dialogue ("She's a fine mama") in its pitiful attempts at eliciting cheap laughs from the audience. Krishna Shah's limp (mis)direction, working from a terribly asinine script written by Shah and David Ball, fails to inject any wit, style or vigor into the idiotic goings-on. Tom Richmond's flat cinematography falls back on dreadfully dated mid-80's MTV rock video visual clichés: madly darting to and fro pans, tilted camera angles, gauzy backlighting, and the ubiquitous curling swirl of hazy smoke billowing in the background. The hopelessly lame head-bangin' music is sheer torture on the ears. The colorless acting, an excruciatingly lethargic pace, John Carl Buechler's crummy make-up f/x, the mild gore, the uniformly obnoxious and unlikable characters, and a general air of total creative impoverishment further sink this clunker like an 80-pound boulder. The absolute dregs.

Its hard to believe that anyone could actually like this nonsense movie. The music is just run-of-the-mill rock, the acting is bad, the humor is mostly lame. About the only good things that I can say for this production are that the pace is reasonable, and there is enough gore to keep a splatter movie fan happy. That's about it. I rated it a "3 of 10".

If you want to see the worst of the worst this is your movie. It contains the most horrific, pathetic, story line of all time. The main plot is basically a so called "rock star" in his late 20's who falls in love with this 13 year old...very weird. The songs are actually kind of fun in the movie. I guess the guy who wrote the music for this movie help the band "Journey" create music. The best part in the movie is when they come to the town and they show that montage of how their making the town exciting. I just wish that I could see some of these actors today. I just would like to go up to one of the main characters and be like, "Hey...so um, how do you feel about your life after you made Hard Rock Zombies?".