Hard Hunted

source: Hard Hunted

Jim Lampley in the scene in the board room? He is wearing 80s glasses and a bad fake mustache. Nice attempt at a disguise, but you can easily recognize his unique voice. He is not listed in the credits (not surprisingly). As everyone else said, this film is a bad attempt at showing T&A through bad plot, slow scenes, and horrible, I repeat HORRIBLE singing sequences. The "singer" is more off key than I was at 16, ugh. I get the sense that this is a poor attempt at being like a Charlie's Angels type movie, with all the fancy planes, cars, etc and beautiful women, minus the action and acting. Bonus points for those that notice the ugly cow/leopard/tiger prints on the clothing and even briefcase! Such bad fashion sense.

Guys, This movie is amazing. I'll tell you why. When you see the cover, you know what to expect. A terrible action movie with tits. And it is like that. Actually we like it with the guys, because it is so bad. We bought already 3 movies, but the shop ran out of them. I know, anytime I'll see a new "episode" or call it "adventure" of the big-boobed-blonds...I will buy it. Those who like easy fun: a must see. This movie has significantly more erotic scenes than the other movies I saw. However, I should mention, that there is never more than tits in them. Those, who expect hard core *, well this is not for you. Off course too serious people shouldn't watch it. For them it is waste of time/energy/money. Andy Sidaris Rulz!

There's a new bad guy - Martin Kane, who is played by Geoffrey Moore, who is the son of Roger. Actually, I lied. He's supposed to be the same character played by Pat Morita in the last film! What is going on here!?! Regardless of that craziness, Kane has smuggled a nuclear trigger out of China. The goal? Sell it to Middle East terrorists. And the very first undercover agent to try and get it back gets killed. Time to call Donna, Nicole and Edy. Time to take lots of showers. Time to make sweet, sweet love when not avoiding remote-controlled death devices. All of your favorites show back up here. Beyond the girls mentioned above - Dona Speir, Roberta Vasquez and Cynthia Brimhall - Bruce Penhall is back as Bruce Christian and Michael Shane as Shane Abilene. Rodrigo Obregon plays an evil operative named Pico who takes advantage of Donna after she gets amnesia. They go beard splitting on the beach while the rest of the team looks for her. But there's another baddie - Raven, who is played by everyone's favorite Asian henchman Al Leong - who gets his own lion's head blazer to go with Kane's lion's head boat. Raven also has an amazing helicopter that he uses to kill all manner of people. The bumbling dup pf bad guys - now named Wily and Coyote - also come back and yes, their weapons still come from Acme. Another return is Ava Cadell, who is now a DJ/sex therapist who does her radio show from the hot tub. As you do. Also: the camera focuses mainly on her breasts, which makes sense, as they take out nearly the entire frame, decimating anything that comes near them by sheer force of gravity and will. Geoffrey Moore isn't the only famous son here. Tony Peck, son of Gregory (and one-time husband of Cheryl Tiegs), plays Lucas. To tell the truth, I kinda loved Hard Hunted. It's the same plot as nearly every single Andy Sidaris film, but for some reason, I've achieved nirvana - or Stockholm Syndrome - by watching every single one of them in one week. The moral is: When you're trying to rescue a nuclear trigger hidden inside a jade statue, it's totally smart to just slow down and do squat thrusts in the cucumber patch with your fellow agent. Saving the world can wait. Making love in the sand can't.

i rented this movie because i saw the girls on the cover, so i thought it would be great to see. And hell knows it is. Great girls, amazing tits and good f**k scenes. u want some plot, good characters and talent? then, hard hunted is not your movie.

Tonight I'm watching Hard Hunted. Sounds like something Seagul, or the Bloodsport fella, would make. Movie starts out with some young sleazebag on his private yacht, draped in semi clad lingerie models, lounging around sipping sea water as his crew poach for abalone. The sleazeball's handed the secret of the ooze, or a piece of stonehedge from the Silver Shamrock factory, and claims he holds Mortal Kombat powers. Nelly Furtado then breaks out into a TV commercial for Hawaiian island adventures. Standing around with his Mortal Kombat powers, and nothing else to do, the young sleazebag orders some Chinese which comes served naked, while another two-timing entree laces his daiquiri with sleeping tablets. I take it she's going to steal the secret of the ooze? The two-timing exotic island beauty entree steals the ooze as predicted and now she's marked and on the run. Making absolutely no sense, the movie then bounces around from Hawaii, to Arizona, cut to some sports illustrated models on holiday sunbathing, and now we're at The Pentagon with a bunch of Microsoft workers sitting around discussing kickbacks and home security mumbo-jumbo. As you do. Unperturbed that the ooze has been stolen, the robed sleazebag is tipped off to the whereabouts of his lifeblood in Scotsdale. The 2 sports illustrated models continue to splish splash while on vacation as the exotic two-timer entree is shot down in a blaze of gory and the secret of the ooze is then passed down to the sports illustrated models on holiday. Unknowingly they smuggle the ooze back to Hawaii - advantage robed sleazeball. Movie jumps around like an Atari leapfrog. Snitches backstab. Woeful actors try to bring humor to an already lame movie. The baddie in this is about as menacing as a ghost from Miss Pacman. (He gets away in the end minus his ooze.) These people must have had a lot of time on their hands to be wasting it on hobbies like this. How much more of this? Is there much to go? So Judith Light is tasered like cattle, abducted, blows up a plane, free falls, and then placed into a makeshift coffin, made out of plywood, and flown off to nowhere to meet Kano? Meanwhile two strangers, who aren't even relevant to the storyline, make love. Am I supposed to pretend that I don't notice all the D-cup cleavage in these Sidaris movies? Who are the real stars of these movies? If you've seen one Sidaris movie, you've seen 'em all. I lost interest in this back at the 50-minute mark. It just drags on. What was a one hour and 34 minute movie could have been condensed into an hour movie. They just dragged it out and of course they just had to squeeze in a few sex scenes at the end where we see horrible actors exploring each others augmented bodies in a sensual manner for all the perverts and creeps out there. Glad this director no longer makes film anymore.

Andy Sidaris movies are hard to differentiate. They all seem to follow the exact same template – action movies starring a host of playmates as ass-kicking special agents who are also not slow to remove their tops. Hard Hunted is more of the same. The success of the films in my eyes is always down to the women. The action movie element of the film is as rubbish as it always is in a Sidaris film. There's copious amounts of gun-play, fights and exploding helicopters but it's always very third rate thrills. In Hard Hunted the story revolves around the whereabouts of a small jade Buddha statuette that contains a nuclear trigger. The villain – played by Roger Moore's son – is after it and the babes try to prevent him from getting hold of it. And that's all you really need to know. The girls are very nice to be fair. There are seven of them and they all find a reason to take their top off at some point. Every one of them is gorgeous to be perfectly honest but special mention should go to Ava Cadell and Becky Mullen, who play respectively, well, Ava and Becky. As a T&A film Hard Hunted is a success, as an action adventure it's completely lifeless.

Deep down inside, Andy Sidaris has his heart in the right place. He is one of the few American directors who seem to like - and take seriously - the "gorgeous women in action roles" genre. Too bad he doesn't have the talent to back up his ideas. His three obsessions in "Hard Hunted" are girls, guns and various means of transportation: about half of this movie is taken up by BORING scenes of people travelling by plane, helicopter, car or boat. The whole film seems somehow lacking in energy, as if Sidaris and everyone else involved was simply going through the motions. The only real pleasure is seeing the beautiful Roberta Vasquez in action mode - she has more to do here than in "Do or Die". (*)

Of course, you could pretty much take any other Andy Sidaris movie, cut it apart, move around the generic chases, gun fights and explosions, add a few minutes of explanatory dialogue and presto! A sequel. This is pretty much how I felt about this follow-up to Do Or Die. It's really the same movie, except here Cynthia, Dona and Roberta wear slightly different outfits (which they strip off just as frequently), and are now hunting the bad guys rather than being themselves hunted. This time around, the minions of crime kingpin Kane (no longer played by Pat Morita, who was busy making better movies) are trying to deliver a nuclear trigger to terrorists, or some such nonsense. I forget and anyway who watches these things for the story lines? It's all tedious crap, of course, but then every Sidaris movie plays like a low rent T&A version of Chips or some other bad 70s TV action show, but with worse acting and dialogue, and shoddier action sequences and explosion effects. Nevertheless, he knows what his audience wants: bouncy Playmates showing off a lot of skin while shooting it out with bad guys, and he delivers the goods. You have to give the guy credit for truth in advertising if nothing else.

Seventh in the "Bullets & Babes" series, has Lil Sidaris taking the directorial efforts off his daddy's hands. However it seems he doesn't have the directorial expertise that his father had pretty much honed by the time and the film suffers from it. Yea all the ingredients are there in spades, but there's something missing in this installment and it just didn't seem as fun as previous ones in the series. The plot be it what it may, has the L.E.T.H.A.L. chicks dealing with a nuclear trigger and averting tragedy once again or some such silly thing. Plots Commantary; Behind the scenes featurettes on "Hard Hunted" & "Return to don't really matter in these films. I loathed the singing (yes singing) portions of the film. Eye Candy: Cynthia Brimhall, Ava Cadell, Carolyn Liu, Becky Mullen, Mika Quintard, Dona Speir, Donna Hamilton, Roberta Vasquez all get topless My Grade: D DVD Extras: Introduction with Andy and Julie Strain; Director's Savage Beach"; Joe Bob Briggs Interview; footage of an all * Julie Smith; Production Stills; Sndy Sidaris filmography; web-links; Theatrical Trailer; and Trailers for 11 other Sidaris films Easter Egg: an extra 23 seconds of all * Julie Smith can be found hidden in the third Trailers menu