Galaxina

source: Galaxina

Well, I finally got around to watching this flick, having bought it some months ago for 50p on DVD after reading some good things about it on a forum (possibly from Sic Coyote, I know his review is around here somewhere). I think I laughed about 3 times throughout the film's 90 minutes running time. The opening line of the captain's log is a true corker, but this remains the highlight of the movie. The film remains notable for the presence of Dorothy Stratten in the title role, and even though she has relatively little to do, she does a fine job. Also present are veteran John Carpenter cinematographer Dean Cundey (who's work is seen in it's full 2.35:1 ratio on this DVD, surprising for a half a quid disc) and FX master Chris Walas, who you'd have a hard time believing went on to do the wonderful effects on Gremlins and The Fly after seeing this. All in all, not the worst film I've ever seen, but far from the best.

Low budget "Barbarella" knock-off manages to be watchable, but is nowhere as funny as it thinks it is. Dorothy Stratten plays the sexy robot Galaxina on a ship of space intergalactic cops patrolling the universe. While the crew is asleep, Galaxina reprograms herself to be more human. Romantic entanglements ensure. Later their ship is sent to recover a mysterious crystal on a planet that resembles the old west, which is a goofily entertaining of genre mash-up. The film mostly wants to operate as a sci-fi spoof of "Star Trek," "Alien," any number of other films in the vein of Mel Brooks, but it's nowhere as clever as Brooks or a Zucker/Abrams/Zucker parody film. Also, the film suffers from being too overt of a sex comedy, which worked much better in "Barbarella," where director Roger Vadim kept the film sexy but also somewhat innocent, where in "Galaxina" it just feels leering and creepy. Despite it's many deficiencies, Stratten demonstrates real star power in a ridiculous film, much like Jane Fonda in "Barbarella," and as bad as this film is, it did make me wish Stratten had gotten to make more films.

Many people are devastated after seeing this movie, saying: how can something be so terribly un-funny? The reason for this total disaster is simple: if you want to do a science fiction parody, you have to understand the rules by which the genre works. John Carpenter did a brilliant comedy with a budget even lower than Galaxina, "Dark Star". He was familiar with the rules of the genre, that's why it worked. "Galaxy Quest" had a few hilariously funny scenes, because the movie was referring to all the cliches of SF. The people who are responsible for Galaxina obviously had no real love for the genre, it was just a futuristic setting but no substance and no concept, thus the movie became entirely empty. Empty of anything: acting, story, fun, thrill... Avoid this void.

I have yet to watch STARCRASH (1979) - that notoriously cheesy Italian take on STAR WARS (1977) - but it can't be much worse than this misbegotten piece of junk which, suffice it to say, makes Mel Brooks' so-so SPACEBALLS (1987) look like a veritable work of art! In fact, the main reason why GALAXINA is remembered at all nowadays is because of the tragic fate which befell its leading lady - Playboy centerfold Dorothy Stratten who was killed by her insanely jealous estranged husband - before the film had even had its official premiere! Although Statten (who subsequently had two biopics made about her wherein she was portrayed by Jamie Lee Curtis and Mariel Hemingway) plays the title role, for the first half of the film she is reduced to being propped up in a chair ostensibly driving a spaceship on a 27-year journey to some planet or other; in fact, Galaxina is an all-purpose android who also serves the wacky crew their snacks, gets them all hot under the collar and even goes scouting for the Blue Star (cue choral music) once they land! Having said that, Statten certainly looks luminous in her white attire and, even if her role hardly demands much exertion of any acting talent she might possess, it's not exactly demeaning either. Still, it's ironic that for a film which bears her name, she is overshadowed by the campy and would-be zany antics of her fellow crew members, especially the annoying Captain Cornelius Butt (which gives you the idea of the level of comedy on display here), a long-eared, wing-sporting colored guy, a pot-smoking, proverb-quoting old Chinaman and, best of all (relatively speaking) a foul-mouthed, rock-eating, hairy alien creature they hold prisoner. The villain of the piece is a metal-clad non-entity who does, however, have the best laugh in the film when, upon hearing the choral music following his every mention of the Blue Star, exclaims, "What is this s**t?" There is little point in listing the sci-fi classics which are mauled by this stinker in its ludicrous attempts at spoofing the genre since they are not only lame but obvious; incredibly enough, a chest-busting but ultimately benign alien is apparently played by diminutive Hollywood veteran, Angelo Rossitto! For what it's worth, then, the scenes shot on the planet they visit (which looks more like a Western set than a planetary landscape) have a yellowish, sun-like hue and its inhabitants are 'human gourmets' (delicacies on their menu include Skin and Tonic, Scotsman on the Rocks, Thigh Pies, Baked Alaskan, etc), not to mention a motorcycle gang who serve their own particular deity (the Harley Davidson) and when our heroes escape on the back of it, they dare not shoot at them for fear of hitting their "Lord". God(awful) indeed...

Galaxina is a hidden jewel, a very funny spoof of SF movies and TV shows from Star Trek to Star Wars. Not a perfect movie, and with cheap special effects, it is nonetheless one of my favorite funny SF movies, along with Spaceballs and Dark Star. Give it a chance!

If you take this movie as camp, and don't expect any deep "filme discovere" nuances, you will have a helluva good time! There are many quotable lines, so if you watch it with a bunch of friends, you may find yourselves saying to one another, "If a jackass had both your brains, he'd be a very dumb jackass!" Avery Schreiber is one of those poor souls who were delegated to the "sidekick" and "character actor" roles. You may remember him from commercials, rather than from film, but he is a force to be reckoned with, comically. I can almost unequivocally guarantee that you will LOVE him in this film! This film is one of those rare gems that transcends its own "badness." It is so supremely awful, that it becomes great.....Much like Woody Allen. Enjoy!

I bought this for £1 on DVD and it got left on my shelf for AGES till I decided to unwrap it and watch it in an effort to get through all the unwatched films in my collection. The movie didn't start out that promising it and not that funny. You could see the jokes were there but most just didn't work (although I did find anything that came out of Sam Wo's mouth quite funny), as the film gets on the jokes do get better and it's just something you have to get into. This film is probably best left to those who can stand(or do I mean enjoy) the work of Empire pictures as this will give you an idea of the kind of stuff to expect. It's not a laugh riot, it's not a classic, but there are some very funny lines in there and interesting visuals. But ultimately I guess it could have been a lot better. I think it may grow on me after a few watches and maybe I could convince some of my friends to watch it too. 4/10

Galaxina is an unsung little gem of a film, not a masterpiece by any measure, but an entertaining little film. It's basically a comedy/spoof of a few other sci-fi classics like ALIEN and STAR WARS. Captain Butts is a standout as the funniest character in the film, especially when they visit the alien brothel before going off on a long voyage. Dorothy Stratten as Galaxina is beautiful, it's a pity she died so young. The rest of the cast are also good, or as good as the dodgy dialogue will let them be. I would compare this to SPACEBALLS, but I think this is far better, it doesn't have the budget or the cast of SPACEBALLS but still does a damn good job at being dumb entertainment. If you can get past the cheapness of it you should definitely get a few good laughs from it. The more I watch it, the more I love it. Highly recommended.

... what a * movie would look like if you took out the sex and just left in the bad dialog, cheap sets and bad acting, you would have Galaxina. This film came out when the Original Star Wars proved there was a market for Science Fiction. This in turn lead to some gems such as Alien and a revitalized Star Trek. Unfortunately, it also led to some bad movies, and this was obviously one of them. (I say obviously, because I hadn't even heard of this film until a few days ago.I missed it when it came out in 1980.) Here's the underlying problem. Dorothy Stratton couldn't act, so for most of the movie, they didn't even let her try. I understand her tragic death has given this film an undeserved cult status, but for the life of me I can't understand why. Clearly, the movie tried to Spoof Star Wars, Star Trek and Aliens, but they clearly don't understand than when you spoof something, it has to be FUNNY! This movie wasn't, or at least, the comic timing on jokes that could have been funny weren't. Science Fiction is ripe for parody, as Spaceballs and Galaxy Quest proved. This movie, however, did it poorly.