Fireball 500

source: Fireball 500

Trailer—Fireball 500

Fireball 500

Being a fan of the Frankie and Annette beach party films and all things A. I. P I was eager to watch this film. Some people are gonna come out and say how corny these films are but if you are into this kind of thing you will not disappointed-despite the fact that Fireball 500 is far from being a classic. This one will remind you of an Elvis movie and there is even a girl from an Elvis film. Annette does the usual good girl act, Fabian butts heads with Frankie, Harvey Lembeck does the bad guy, and I wish there was more of Jo Collins. Compared to the Beach Party films, the songs here are nothing to brag about. There are some memorable lines and some of the destruction during the racing scenes is impressive. Fast cars, pretty girls, silly moments, and lots of impressive...behinds. Do you need anything else? And let's not forget that mouth! I'm talking about Julie Parrish.

AIP and William Asher (his day job doing 'Bewitched') grab those Beach Blanket Bores Annette & Frankie and put them into the stock racing milieu. Surprise: Frankie romances Julie Parrish instead of Annette, while Annette stays true to Fabian. No surprise: both Frankie and Annette sing. Blah. Then there is Harvey Lembeck dropping the Erich Von Zipper-shtick in order to play an ordinary villain; in this case a race car shop owner doing some roughhouse bootlegging on the side. There's a weird intro of claymation cavemen (who also reappear at the end) and lots of race car footage (appealing, I guess, to nostalgic stock car aficionados). As usual, the other women strut their stuff while Annette remains smothered in clothing up to her chin. The only funny thing in this carbon monoxide-weary enterprise is watching Frankie Avalon try and play it tough. The sight of this tiny man with a huge foamy thatch of hair thicker than his body engaging in fight scenes and tough talk is a hoot.

Leaving the beach behind, drag racing Frankie Avalon (as Dave Owens) and statuesque Annette Funicello (as Jane Harris) get involved with bootlegging racer Fabian (as Sonny Leander Fox). Pretty Julie Parrish (as Martha Brian) is Mr. Avalon's main squeeze this time around; in one of the film's few memorably bad scenes, she gets a firm grip on shirtless Avalon's buttocks. In a related move, Fabian's fan club, the "Eager Beavers" express devotion on their derrières. Chill Wills is (as Big Jaw) and Harvey Lembeck (as Charlie Bigg) are among the unfortunate supporting cast. Director William Asher's American International team absolutely needed a change of pace, but "Fireball 500" was about as unnecessary a postscript as could be produced.

I like the way the movie portrayed the moonshiners, and the way they influenced the early stock car racers. The musical theme was the wave of the era. This movie had a lot of the same themes as some of the Elvis movies.

Stock car driver Dave Owens (Frankie Avalon) likes Jane Harris (Annette Funicello). He has a friendly rivalry with Sonny Leander Fox (Fabian) who has many groupies. He gets tricked into running moonshine. Next, he's trapped between criminals and the law. Frankie and Annette have left the beach to try something more dangerous. At the end of the day, they can't. I would suggest something harder than moonshine but that would alienate their fans. It's a no-win situation. Their star power is fading and they have nowhere to go. Quite frankly, they are probably best fitted to be teachers in art school. Otherwise, they are always going to be Frankie and Annette on the beach. I do like some of the car action. There are a few good crashes although the actors are nowhere near the real driving. I just can't take this seriously.

I guess I have seen worse movies...but not lately. If you're a race fan you might be able to get thru this as a curiosity, but as is often the case, this movie was written and directed by people who wouldn't know a race car from a loaf of bread. At least it has Annette! I think it's similar to an Elvis movie without Elvis, or an old beach-blanket movie style.

"Beach Party" leads Frankie Avalon, Annette Funicello, and Harvey Lembeck do what they can with C-minus material involving an ace stockcar racer who gets involved with moonshiners; the Internal Revenue wants him to work both sides, but he's more interested in finding out who's thwarting the midnight runs by playing chicken with the drivers. Barely involving 'grown up' effort from American International, not as good as their later stockcar comedy-drama "Thunder Alley", however Avalon and Annette both get to sing (his number, "My Way" is one of the best tunes Avalon ever got in an AIP film). There's a pretty good brawl between Frankie and Harvey Lembeck, but Fabian, as Frankie's nemesis, is under-used, as is Annette. Good photography by Floyd Crosby, cute opening Claymation segment by Clokey Films, but the story is so muddled we never know where we stand with these one-dimensional characters. *1/2 from ****