Fairy Tales

Fairy Tales_720p(480P)

source: Fairy Tales

Charles Band strikes gloriously ridiculous schlock movie fool's gold with this giddy, bawdy, cheerfully lewd, crude and rude vaudeville revue-style soft-core sex musical comedy send-up of beloved Mother Goose nursery rhyme characters who are tossed smack dab into the middle of a gratuitous nudity-packed, sex-ridden, scuzzy pun-laden low-budget nice'n'naughty goofathon loaded with wink-wink, nudge-nudge hammy acting, pretty girls frequently shedding their scanty apparel, cheesy Cole Porter-type song-and-dance numbers, leering double entendres, grotesquely drawn black, homosexual and sexually deviant characters, semi-explicit simulated sex, dirty jokes about erections and voyeurism, and an ingratiatingly good-natured sense of aim-for-the-groin lowbrow high school locker room humor. A jaded prince (pudgey, homely, acne-scarred dork Don Sparks), rendered impotent by having made love to too many castle babes, has to immediately find that certain special fair maiden who will arouse him in order to produce an heir and rightfully assume his natural role as king. So Prince Plug-Ugly Clod goes roving the countryside in search of his elusive alluring queen and has bizarre encounters with a motley assortment of mugging, freaked-out, libidinous oddballs. The Little Old Woman Who Lives in a Shoe (vampy Brenda Fogarty) is the madam of a bordello. "Repo Man" 's Sy Richardson, carrying on like he's in a way soulful blaxploitation picture, does his flippy jive-a** thing as Sirus, a preening, flamboyant pimp with an over-sized bright red codpiece. "Professor" Irwin Corey contributes a typically over-the-top turn as a manic, wheezing, profanity-spewing sex expert doctor. Snow White (luscious dish Annie Gaybis) participates in lively group sex with the lascivious seven dwarfs. Little Bo Peep (gorgeous buxom blonde honey Angela Aames) not only loses her sheep, but also her clothes as she squeaks out a dreadful tune in a grating, high-pitched adenoidal voice before falling out of her flimsy dress and revealing her bountiful breasts. Cuddly unclad imp Lindsay Freeman pops up as the insatiable Jill, who can't get mincing gay Jack to make love to her. Robert Staats as gabby smarmy doorman Little Tommy Tucker, Angelo Rossitto as a lecherous midget lawman, and Bob Leslie as randy Old King Cole devour the cheap forest scenery with lip-smacking uninhibited aplomb. Juicy Ida Tripoldi fails to turn on the prince as a delicious naked chick birthday present. Delectably voluptuous belly dancer Nai Bonet shakes her fleshy, undulating body and pours glistening oil on her shapely buttocks while shaking it to a grinding disco beat. Marita Ditmar and future "Dallas" cast member Evelyn Guerrero, wearing just leather S&M masks, engage in an absurdly campy dungeon-set chains'n'whips "beat me because it feels so good" number. A fresh out of high school Linnea Quigley, looking incredibly cute and prior to her substantial 80's scream queen fame, gets the prince's motor running as the yummy, untainted Sleeping Beauty. Director Harry Tampa, working from a gleefully coarse, filthy-minded, resolutely vulgar and unsophisticated script by Frank Ray Perilli and Franne Schacht (they also wrote "Laserblast" for Band), keeps the tone unremittingly smutty, yet light-hearted throughout, while cinematographer Daniel Pearl blinds the audience with lots of chintzy vertical wipes and dissolves and composer Andrew Belling and lyricist Lee Arries deliver the dopey goods with such choice sleazy songs as "Been A Virgin Too Long" and a kinky bondage-and-discipline-themed variant on the classic rhythm-and-blues ditty "Beat Me Daddy Eight to the Bar." Trandscendently tacky stuff.

I regrettably saw this movie back to back with the German film "Grimm's Fairy Tales for Adults" and while both films are obviously "for adults", the former actually managed to capture some of the spirit of the original Grimm's Fairy Tales while this film is your typically smutty, painfully unfunny, and crassly stupid "parody" of the already highly bastardized American versions of the classic fairy tales (with a little Mother Goose thrown in for good measure). For instance, in this movie the Old Woman Who Lives in a Shoe (Brenda Fogerty) is a madam, her shoe naturally is a cathouse, and there is a stereotypical 70's black pimp (Sy Richardson). "Snow White", of course, is getting it on with her seven dwarfs (for all you people out there with dwarf fetishes). "Little Bo Peep" has lost her sheep, and apparently her underwear too. Perhaps worst of all, this movie follows the unfortunate 70's trend of being an annoying musical (i.e. "Alice in Wonderland", "The First Nudie Musical") because, of course, there's a great intersection of musical fans and softcore * fans. But let me focus on the positive (what little there is). There is a very early if mostly wasted appearance by a young Linnaea Quigley (who gets naked natch'). Evelyn Guerrero, who had a memorable role in "Cheech and Chong's Nice Dreams", has a cameo role (with full-frontal nudity) as one of the "S and M Dancers". And perhaps most memorable is Tai Bonet as "Schrenednaze" (from "Arabian Nights") doing a naked belly dance (for some reason for Mother Goose's "Old King Cole") while rubbing oil all over herself. You just don't see naked belly dancing everyday. But is any of this worth enduring the rest of this movie? Uh, no. Watch "Grimm's Fairy Tale for Adults" instead

Lots of flubbage. Lots of laughs. Lots of music (which is kinda dumb). That's it.

This is a Charles Band film. The DVD has been restored. The prince (Don Sparks) needs to lose his virginity to prove his manhood. He has "sexperts" assigned to the task, but alas the prince only has eyes for the missing Sleeping Beauty (Linnea Quigley). The Prince travels to find her as all the action shifts to a brothel of fairy tale characters. The film is a musical and includes some bad lip syncing, except for the scene with Martha Reeves, who must have needed the work. Many actors appear in other Band productions such as AUDITIONS and CINDERELLA. The DVD version includes FF nudity (Linnea Quigley, Angela Aames Sherry Bragg, Marita Ditmar, Lindsay Freeman, Anne Gaybis, Evelyn Guerrero , Mariwin Roberts, Idy Tripoldi) This film and clips can be found for free on line.

I was on-line earlier and started thinking of those fairy tales books from school. They were the 1st books you READ after clearing flash-cards. Anyway, having lots if 'search' words I went on Google. 3rd entry was this film Fairy Tales. Briefly, I saw what it was about, sniggered then decided to write this review. PS If you have seen this film & recommend it, let me know.Thanks.

Totally didn't expect how awesome the rendition of the tunes are, which are presented with silly props, fun nudity and some pretty great eye candy ( well, shoulders down that is) and nudity itself is not acted in a way that is meant to stimulate. I'll say it is as titillating as a full costume cabaret. it's very low budget, but you don't expect something like this to funded up to the yahoos., and will hold your attention better than some of the blockbusters we have at the cinemas these days

Well, this is a surprise. A 70s nudie retelling of fairy tales. Not quite, more a very well written and amusing concoction using various fairy tales as props and naked ladies to help the visuals. Only in the 1970s could this have been conceived, let alone so successfully been completed. The atmosphere on set must have been fantastic because everyone looks happy and plays this to the hilt. The costumes are effective (when worn) and the main old Mother Hubbard's shoe/ brothel is a great idea. Some scenes are jaw dropping - what about the stripping of snow white by seven real dwarfs, a delectable and very young looking Linnea Quigley as the virgin all are after and Sy Richardson's pimp is so convincing. Eminent and prolific producer Charles Band has to take the credit and I was particularly surprised by the professional looking orgy sex scenes, which seem to have been added (back?) for this Blu-ray release. Oh and I almost forgot, halfway through, out of a smoking cauldron steps a smoking Martha Reeves for a very effective musical number.

Harry Hurwitz, who also worked with Charles Band on * documentary 'Auditions', creates a fun-filled version of favourite fairy tales. Though for adults the humour and sex is actually all quite innocent and kind of charming which makes this a watchable and entertaining movie. The songs are cleverly written and produced to a very high standard and also sung very well. Songstress Martha Reeves has a small role and performs one song (later in life Reeves claimed she was duped and did not know it was an adult film - to be fair her scene looks innocent and has her surrounded by cast, including the prince, in traditional dress). All of the acting is very good with Sy Richardson as a pimp (Richardson also worked on Band's soft * version of 'Cinderella' before becoming famous). Angela Aames as Bo Peep is exceptionally pretty and proves what a shame her untimely death was. Co-writer Frank Ray Perilli worked alongside Albert Band for many years and later with Charles as he was starting out. Plot wise there is not much to add about the film, story is slight at best. This is a really credible film and even now among what would eventually become Full Moon Pictures best.