Embrace of the Vampire

Embrace of the Vampire starring Alyssa Milano--there's only one reason to watch this cheesy, soft-core * and I think we all know what that is. The rest of this movie is absolute trash; plot, over-acting, and all. That's all of the time I'm going to waste on this review.

This has got to be the worst movie EVER !!! I bought it based on Pheobe from Charmed and of course Martin Kemp is a very good actor. Sadly this film and the actors are just sooooooooooooooooooooooo BAD ! I wouldn't watch it again if someone paid me to. I advise you NOT to watch it, as you will never get that time back. It was really really bad (I said that already didn't I?) The plot is terrible, the acting is awful, the music is very bad and the whole film is just a big fat waste of time. The basic plot is this vampire can only live if he seduces the last virgin something or other.....see it was so boring, I have forgotten already! Alyssa & Martin's acting is so wooden & corny and Alyssa's * are also really fake :o) And believe me you see them enough. Its almost like they tried to fill the time with sex because the story couldn't sustain itself. Oh this bit won't work, lets show her naked...sort of thing. Anyway, do NOT watch this movie, as it really really is THAT bad! To all Charmed fans I beg you not to buy/rent it, because 1) its a waste of your hard earned money and 2) it will probably put you off Charmed forever!! I'm sorry I don't have anything good to say, I really do, as I had high expectations for this movie.

This film was a gift from God to those of us who grew up crushing on Alyssa Milano in Who's the Boss. This is, obviously, a pretty awful flick. I'd always assumed it was made directly for Cinemax. But it is amusingly awful and, Hell, say what you want about the rest of it, but it's actually super hot. Milano is drop-dead gorgeous and there are plenty of other beautiful naked women all over the place. The vampire who stalks her (Martin Kemp) is hilariously awful. His terribleness keeps the movie light and funny, which it doesn't want to be but it'd probably be far less tolerable otherwise. I wish I had recorded a few more of his lines, but right from the beginning we get juicy nuggets like "I'll destroy anything that gets in my way, even my heart, if need be!" Everything he says is overwritten and over acted, often behind a really dumb looking leather vest. So, yes, a bad movie, but I quite like it.

Martin Kemp is probably best known, acting wise, for his role in gangster flick The Krays, and British soap opera Eastenders, and that is a fact that he should be thankful for; as no one would like to be remembered for a film like this. Embrace of the Vampire is a non-event of massive proportions, as the unoriginal premise is never capitalised upon, and it's all bolstered by a host of inept performances. Martin Kemp is particularly awful as 'The Vampire'. He tries and tries to look sexy and foreboding, but succeeds only in looking silly as his accent is appalling and he's about as sexy as Pat Butcher and Pauline Fowler in a wet T-Shirt competition. The film takes obvious influence from Dracula, and follows Kemp's vampire as we see him become the undead and try desperately to find the woman he loved while he was human. Around the same time, Catholic girl Charlotte begins having dreams of the vampire, and it's not long before he's trying to will her to him in order for the pair to spend their eternal lives together. The film is famous mostly for its female lead and her lovely breasts. Alyssa Milano is Embrace of the Vampire's only positive element, and were it not for her; this film would really be the pits. I'm sure Milano will be most people's reason for watching - me included - and it's definitely a good thing that the film puts a lot of its focus on sex. The sex scenes are soft-core at best, and unfortunately they're not very erotic. It is a shame that Martin Kemp was cast in the lead as had a better actor have taken his place, the film could have been passable...the man really doesn't know how to play an enticing role. There's a few scenes of gore, but the film is never very nasty and while some of them are well shot, they're again poorly acted and not really worth seeing. The plot is very thinly spread, and the film definitely needed a lot more 'bite'. It all boils down to an ending typical of the rest of the film, as rather than coming to a head in an exciting and interesting way; it just peters out. Overall, Embrace of the Vampire is merely a kick in the teeth and definitely doesn't come recommended.

Right from the beginning of this movie, it becomes disturbingly clear that the virginesque Milano, last seen co-starring with Big Daddy Danza in "Who's The Boss," is out to shed both her goody-goody image and most of her clothes. God bless her for that. Also, right from the beginning, the * Milano gets it on with a bunch of lesbian vamps, most notably Charlotte Lewis and the never-disappointing-when-naked-and-making-out-with-another-naked-woman, Jennifer Tilly. Check out "Bound" if you don't know what I'm talking about. Anyway, that's about all there is to this movie. I originally rented it because "Movieline" magazine recommended it as a Direct-To-Video sleeper with a great plot. Maybe it was and maybe I was too busy fast forwarding and rewinding to notice. Yeeooow, Alyssa, I'll show you who's the boss!

Embrace of the Vampire (1994) is the much bally-hooed "cult" film (and I use the term for this movie very loosely) that stars former T.V. star Alyssa Milano and an aged Charlotte Lewis. I don't know why people love this movie. The only "big" thing about this movie are the size of Miss Milano's bosoms. There are much better erotic vampire movies than this slick trash. The storyline is weak, the acting is terrible and the direction is lackluster. Dude even the femme on femme scene is boring. Without the infamous * scenes, you're left with a lame and toothless vampire flick. Don't waste your time on this "movie". If you want to see an erotic movie with vampire overtones go get a Seduction Cinema Entertainment video. For Alyssa Milano fans only. Others will be very disappointed by the results because the hype ain't all that. Bad movie that's the least bit entertaining. D- xx

Great to see Alyssa naked, (for the guys) but Bad in every other respect. I can't believe that the director wasn't sued for intellectual property theft, as she edited Bram stoker's dracula a couple years earlier, and let's just say "borrowed" dialogue and shots and camera techniques. A sorry pitiful waste of time, rent this dreck if you're in need of a non-prescription sleep aid. 2/10 ( I save 1's for total losses)

After reading the other user comments, I wasn't expecting a very good movie, but I was happily very surprised. I think I must have been watching a different film. The vampire is turned, while in love with a virgin princess several hundred years ago, today for some unexplained reason he has only three days left to live, unless he can find a virgin that loves him and drink her blood. Enter Charlotte, a convent-school good girl who is the reincarnation of the princess, the only problem is that she is in love with Chris, a paranoid student that is desperately trying to persuade her to have sex with him. The vampire therefore has three days in which to separate the love birds, and make Charlotte fall in love with him. A tall order, but he has a few magical powers to help him along. What follows is an erotic journey of self enlightenment for Charlotte, as she grows from a girl into a woman (well and eighteen year old anyway). The ending...well watch it and see. Milano's acting is a bit wooden at times, probably due to her nervousness during the * scenes, and this is the weakest bad guy I've ever seen Kemp play, he was much darker in "The Krays" and in "Growing Rich", both of which are recommended. A good film overall, worth watching.

The seventeen year-old Charlotte (Alyssa Milano) is a virgin college student from a Catholic high-school and girlfriend of her college mate Chris (Harrison Pruett). Near to the eve of her eighteenth birthday, a vampire (Martin Kemp) that was her lover in a past life tries to seduce her to regain his human life. However Charlotte is in love with Chris and the vampire sends the sexy Marika (Jennifer Tilly) to seduce him. Meanwhile Charlotte is also sexually tempted by the lesbian Sarah (Charlotte Lewis). "Embrace of the Vampire" is an erotic and sexy tale that uses the attractive figure of the vampire to expose the naked body and breasts of Alyssa Milano. The story can be written in half a page and is basically a storyline entwined with scenes of sex. The most incredible is that there is a remake of this movie. My vote is five. Title (Brazil): "A Sedução do Mal - Os Diários de Nosferatu" ("The Seduction of Evil - The Nosferatu's Diaries") Note: On 11 July 2022, I saw this film again.

Whoo wee. What a stinkbomb of a film. As the gentle reader has no doubt gathered from other reviews, this is a dirt-cheap movie with a single virtue: Alissa Milano getting buck nekkid and making out with everybody in sight. The plot: titular vampire must "do the wild thing" with Alissa, or die in three days. She is his reincarnated love from before he was a vampire. For some reason, he is going to rest in peace unless he can get jiggy with her pronto. There are rules: she must be willing. There is also a catch: Alissa is an ultra-prudish virgin college student who is in love with her boyfriend. So, this sleazy vampire dude sets out to convince both Alissa and her boyfriend that they need to break up and start hooking up with random people. He casts some kind of spell on Alissa that makes her libido go ape (kind of like the alien cockroach in _The Outer Limits_ episode "Caught in the Act" made a virgin Alissa Milano become a cosmic nymphomaniac -- I wonder if that is where the script writer got the idea). So, the film is Alissa getting naked, acting sexy, making out with boys and girls, interspersed with this "playa" vampire trying to seduce her and her boyfriend. Once in a while the vampire kills somebody, for no readily apparent reason. Well, its a vampire movie. Even though the vampire is out for tail instead of out for blood in this film, I guess people have to die. This movie is good "MSFT2K" material. Rent it and laugh at it. I know, there are a lot of very bad horror movies one can use for that purpose... but hey, how many feature Alissa Milano stripping buck nekked?