Don't Fuck in the Woods

I hate horror movies but I think I like this one 😂😂

best movie in my life

Young adults have sex in the woods and are killed by something in a cheap "Predator " costume. The film was similar to said "Predator" except it is kids in the woods and not Arnold. Characters were not developed. There was some humor in the dialogue, but nothing worth repeating. The film was an hour long with about 10 minutes of bloopers. No real story line. Guide: F-word, sex, nudity (Nadia White, Brittany Blanton, Brandy Mason, Kayla Stone.) 4 stars for the nudity.

This is what Indie films are supposed to be and for a low budget film this is such a fun and cool horror movie. The story is pretty solid and keeps you interested and violence, gore, nudity, and action. What more you want? Not sure why it's getting rough ratings not everyone has million dollar budget.

Well, it's exactly what you'd expect given its title and its well, everything else. It's no where near good by any stretch of the imagination but still, it's exactly what you should expect, don't go into this expecting some marvel of a movie, it is what it is, even if that is just practically *. The acting is fine, the effects are actually pretty good, the costume for the monster though, absolutely hilarious, it's all very B grade. Its camera work is very uh, I dunno, amatuer horror film? It is what it is. I usually really don't mind a lot of sex and nudity in movies but, there was a LOT but again, what's the whole premise of this film? To not fucking in the woods so, really expect practically *. The stories basic college kid horror, given it's much more of a comedy than a horror, overall would probably be pretty rad after a few drinks and some weed or somthin with some friends, it's not complete and utter trash but it's still highkey shit .

I'll admit, I kind of liked the first fifteen minutes of this one, in a so-bad-it's-good way, but after that, it grew very tiresome. The girl in the opening scene ( Brandy Mason ) was cute, and gets fully *, before she and her boyfriend are killed by a forest glob creature ( I'm not even sure what it is supposed to be, and I don't think the filmmakers know either, as it is never explained ) . After the terrible nu-metal theme song mercifully ends, and the idiotic dream scene, we get two decent looking girls in bed together, talking about this weekend's camping trip. End my amusement with this movie after that. The following aerial shots look like they were taken from YouTube, and they likely were, considering this film's zero-budget. Moron lead characters, blabbering in the car, on their way to the camp site, is filmed through the rolled up windows, so we're looking at reflections of the forests they're driving through for this entire sequence. More blabbering when they get there, before this muck creature ( which looks like it was doused with pancake syrup ) kills most of them, playing all the film's cards in that single scene. This leads to a " final girl " showdown, with exploding arrows, because of course they have exploding arrows, and the final girl's fate is then left unresolved, as she is last seen wandering through the woods, in a state of shock. The movie proper ends at 60 minutes, which is then padded with thirteen minutes of blooper reel footage, then the words " Thanks for watching " appear, and remain on screen for a further eight minutes. Literally nothing more than amateur * stars ( Nadia White's sex scene looks genuine and unsimulated ) filmed using an iPhone. Several scenes are silent, with no sound whatsoever, which makes ​me wonder if this film was ever fully completed

I'm all about a slasher flick with copious shots of *. No prob but... did they even write a script? The pacing of the movie is worst of all time. It's awkward moment after awkward moment. Terrible directing... 'actors' look on-screen like they're not sure what they're supposed to be doing. Also again, the pacing is worst of all time. I'm sure they had fun and some good laughs making this but unless you were there, no way this will entertain you. You're prob thinking... oh this sounds so bad it's good! Nope... I live for trash movies, this ain't that. But congrats to everyone involved. At least you made something.

First, this movie was done by passionate people for under 10 000$ budget, so don't watch it with other expectations (and then bad rate it). And for the budget i find pretty nice. Typical teenage (monster) slasher. I loved some references. And once again, impressed y what people can do with no money. So please appreciate it, at its just value.

What can I say except ,this is a truly,truly awful movie! It's simply so bad I want money back,and I didn't even pay to see it! It's about a bunch of ,what look to be,washed up tattoo'd rejects from the * industry,trying to pass themselves off as teenagers,on a camping trip,doing a lot of drinking and sex and getting killed by a man in a plastic looking suit and a terrible mask,doing an awful job of acting as a monster. The worst thing is...the monster is the good looking one of the film! The cinematography is terrible,the acting is worse,the writer should be made to eat his script and the producers should be jailed for perpetuating a fraud on the public. The best thing about this offering is the title.

My quick rating - 2.8/10. As much as I wanted to like this movie, mainly for the goofy title, it just was not good. I thoroughly enjoy finding low budget movies made by unknowns to find your Raimis or Jacksons (both of which I found on their shoestring budget flicks long before Hollywood) this movie isn't going to be catapulting anyone into stardom. Especially not the creature creator, whom I assume shops at the local Halloween store. The effects were terrible. I am fairly sure the dialogue was adlibbed. The "woods" may have been someone's backyard next to a local forest, at best. I really tried to like this, but with so much not to like, such as being within feet of this big bad monster, and acting like nothing is there, I just couldn't possibly enjoy this. I expected * and gore in that order, and neither really delivered. Too bad to waste the clever, yet obvious title on such a snoozefest. But I will say, in the end, the blooper reel did seem like the kids had fun in filming this, so at least that is good. And some bonus points added for bow and arrow use, then subtracted for lack of reason or method of making an exploding arrow out of literally nothing combustible (I doubt the nudge to Predator is appreciated). At a mere 75 minutes, you won't be all that upset if you watch it, you most likely just won't enjoy it.