Die You Zombie Bastards!

source: Die You Zombie Bastards!

Moviecut—Die You Zombie Bastards!

Well well, what was this. I have seen the trailer and thought, well, this I must see, so I did but it was weirder than the trailer. If you are going to watch it be advised that it is really a weird movie. Don't take it seriously, but watch it with a pint of beer and some nachos. Sit down and relax and take a ride towards cheap effects (space ship, sea monster), cannibalism (a couple loves to eat human flesh), stupid hero's (red man), stupid make up (Baron Nefarious and the zombies), goofy story lines (in fact the whole movie) and the obligatory nudity (a lot of juggs and hairy kitty cats). Sometimes it's a bit boring but I must say that the acting of Tim Gerstmar is excellent. Many will find it celluloid shite others will adore it.

It is a shame that archaeologists Jennifer K. Beal, Sadie Blades, and Zhana LaRenard haven't had further romps. They would have added immensely to Indy's adventures. But, sadly, it is not to be. We have to satisfy ourselves with the memories here. Our nubile ladies certainly gave a whole new meaning to beating your meat. And, I saw things done with sausages that boggle the mind. And, when it's too hot to garden... As Red says, "Christ in heaven! I don't know how much more of this I can take." This movie is the very definition of "It's so bad, it's good."

...and perhaps a direct insult to garbage itself, "DYZB" is the sort of haphazard visual and storytelling mess that no one in their right mind would ever leave on their resume. You know just by the title that it's going to be lo-fi trash, but this one gives a bad name to lo-fi AND trash. "DYZB" is just about as unwatchable as anything I've seen in recent memory, and that includes some pretty wretched material. Of course, as soon as I saw the name of master thespian, Jamie ("Mine's bigger than yours!") Gillis, in the credits, I knew expectations had to be kept low. Unfortunately, I didn't realize quite HOW low. This film needs no recitation of names involved, as I just mentioned the only name you'd ever recognize in a million years, and absolutely no one involved in this sad affair will ever--also in a million years--ever go on to achieve anything worth mentioning. Just take it on faith: this is crap without a single redeeming feature; even the bare boobies can't redeem it. It's the sort of film that cheapens the term, "film," and makes hacks like Rob Zombie seem like an Oscar-winner by comparison. Every single minute you spend with this one will be a minute you will regret having wasted for the rest of your life. You have been warned.

This ... I won't call it a movie .. that would be too kind ... It is the worst piece of drivel I've ever seen that actually had a listing on IMDb. I am shocked that anyone would invest money in something like this ... even Cheech and Chong on their worst day wouldn't touch this stinker with a 10 foot pole. Its like a middle schools drama club trying to make a movie that resembles the Monty Python style only they never saw Monty Python. I don't know how to describe it ... maybe clerks, and earnest goes to jail crossed with Ring of the Nebelungs and a dash of Shaun of the Dead? ... Only 100 times worse. I'm truly ashamed that I even watched 10 minutes of this awful tripe.

Sure, it's got it's faults, but this movie was pretty farking great. Totally original which is more than you can say for most movies. Funny, silly and while the subject matter and jokes are not taken seriously the film making is. It looks good, it moves...a lot of care went in. Too bad this movie seems to get lumped in with a lot of no budget shot on camcorder garbage. 10 years from now people will still be watching this movie (I know I will). It's a great DVD too...good commentary, funny behind the scenes featurette and some weird music videos. Sure, a lot of people will not like this movie. Movies that everyone likes usually have one major problem: they're bland. If there's on this this movie is NOT is bland.

tim gerstmar should be nominated for an academy award for his performance as red toole.!!!?!! before you watch this film you need to ask your self why are you watching it? if you are looking for a big budget piece of s$%# that you are watching because some Hollywood jerk off said you will love it or are you looking for a good time with comedy gore and everything but a budget than you need to see this film note to mention several satisfying * scenes. bravo!!!i would like to think that a sequel would come if more people see the film and call there congressman and demand that it be mandated that die you zombie bastards will go down in history as one of the greatest b movies of all time!Red Toole rules!!!!!!!!!!!

This movie is just amateur incompetence, not only in the way it looks (which I can forgive) but also in the acting, writing and the whole concept behind it. It's just stupid. Not campy, quirky, or even slightly clever or slightly interesting. As anyone knows who rents a movie like this, there are dozens of excellent, cheap and hilarious zombie movies, made by people with an actual sense of humor. See, for example, Tokyo Zombie. That was a hilarious experience. Don't torture yourself with this worthless movie. It looks like something that was made just for the "buddies" of the people in it, and I'm sure they find it brilliant to watch themselves pretend to act, but the result does not need a wider release.

Die You Zombie Bastards! is a wonderful slice of trash cinema for anyone who is a fan of troma films or just good films in general. The dialogue, casting, special effects and plot are all far better than one would expect a troma film (toxic avenger, etc.) to be. It is amazing that this young director could have such a great eye for what makes a good shot. not only is this film incredibly freaky, it is also quite funny in places. Some parts were so stunning that it made me wish i could rewind it just to make sure I saw it right. This film definitely deserves a DVD release, and someday will be seen as a classic in the genre. It is the best film of its kind ever made. An utter masterpeice. I give it 10/10.