Dickshark

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Moviecut—Dickshark

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source: Dickshark

Low budget filmmaker Bill Zebub made this really bizarre, dirty and just flat out crazy film about a guy who uses a genital growth lotion and turns his * to a shark. It would be a crazy fun film it id didnt have a run time of 2hr. 29 min. Seriously its 2 and a half hours. Anyway its cool to see Erin Brown again. Haven't seen her in a while.

Right, well with a movie titled "Dickshark", then I have to say that I had absolutely zero expectations for this 2016 movie. I happened to stumble upon it by random chance, and opted to give the movie a chance, on the chance of it being a bizarre comedy. I was wrong. Boy, how I was wrong. This movie is atrocious. It wasn't a comedy at all. This was a lewd low budget sleaze-fest of an adult movie. Yeah, nothing worthwhile to sit down here for. In fact, do yourself a favor and stay well clear of this dumpster fire of a movie from writer and director Bill Zebub. The storyline in "Dickshark" was laughable, non-existing and just downright stupid. But then again, does sleazy movies really need a storyline? Well, it does if you were expecting it to be something quite different than what it turned out to be. The acting performances in this movie, and I use the word "movie" with a grain of salt here, was amateurish, sluggish, wooden, rigid and not really worth watching. Needless to say that I wasn't familiar with a single performer on the cast list here, nor were I inspired to rush out to acquire other movies of anyone on the cast list here. The special effects were non-existing. So don't get your hopes up. Bad production, bad acting, bad writing and bad cinematography hardly constitutes a proper movie. My rating of "Dickshark" from writer and director Bill Zebub lands on a one out of ten stars. This is definitely one of the worst movies I have stumbled upon in a long, long time.

The best thing about this movie ... well is the poster and maybe the tag line. It's actually a shame, because there are things here that you could find funny - if you are in the right mood. Like the director making fun of himself and the nudity this contains and the "erotic movie" genre (with or without horror elements) ... I would not call it acting what you see - but there are some hidden gems in some of the dialog scenes. The real issue is the other stuff. Well at least for me. I reckon if you are into Heavy Metal you can at least enjoy the music/soundtrack to a degree. That the effects would not have any kind of standard ... I expected that. I can only assume that another reviewer is trolling who praises this ... or anything at all. Also I "only" watched the 2.5 hourse cut and am surprised to read there is an even longer cut here ... I will not watch that under any circumstances ... I'd advice you to save time too.

I have mixed impressions about this title. Production is cheap. Lighting and cinematography are dreadful. The pace is glacial, the editing frustrating, and why oh why so much slo-mo? There's a lot of female nudity, and all the actors are obviously there for the love of it because no-one is taking themselves, the nudity or the film too seriously. They can't even suppress their mirth at times. I can forgive the cheap props, gratuitous boob shots and micro-budget film-making because the ideas expressed are quite high-brow. Others are complaining about the dialogue. It initially comes across as silly stuff, what seems to be many ad libs, off on tangents and probably a lot was shot in one take. There are gaps in the dialogue, the actors break eyeline, look at the camera or over to where I suspect the script is available to be read off camera. The script is at times frustrating and could have been shot and edited much, much better. But the thing that surprised me within the eccentric dialogue are the observations and commentary on modern society, such as myths and clichés accepted as fact, the poor discipline in modern education and then, importantly, the call-back to a classic by Mary Shelley. **Ding!** Dick is a modern Victor Frankenstein, destroyed by his own power and one of his own creations. The dialogue up to that moment has reflected Shelley's themes on the uneducated and the use of knowledge for good or evil. Does Dick even consider science for good or bad, or is the pursuit of science its own reward, as well as an excuse for fondling breasts? High brow conversation and low brow visuals. Is this *? No, female nudity is not *, besides which there are no male actor's bits seen on the screen. "Dickshark" is a direct descendant of the monster-nudie and nudie-cuties of the 60's. Remember Francis Ford Coppola's first couple of movies - "The Bellboy and the Playgirls" and "Tonight for Sure"? Who could foresee "The Godfather" series or "Apocalypse Now" from those nudie-cutie origins? I make note of a few minutes dedicated to music credits at the end. I respect Bill Zebub's effort here of one artist promoting other collaborating artists. But Bill, if you read this, please get a fresh pair of eyes to check your spelling before delivering the final product. Mistakes abound! In summary, if you can endure the glacial pace and many shortcomings in the craft of film-making evident in "Dickshark" there is a high concept running underneath all the boob shots and ridiculous props. .....and it pays to know Mary Shelley's writing.

Just when you thought it was safe to enter the water.... A man creates an enhancement cream with shark results. The titled shark becomes severed and freed. The shark is attracted to the scent of a woman and is growing larger. This is made by the same group who did, "Nightmare on Elmo Street" i.e. if you liked one you will like the other. The style is the same, naked women having sex with a puppet interrupted by long boring conversations. This time the dialogue was worse than their previous film as they whined about things like standardized school tests. This is listed as science fiction with a claim it is not *. It is more * than science fiction with 9 girls with full frontal close up nudity, including Misty Mundae this time. (She took a pass on nudity in Nightmare...) Guys got facial close-ups while women got torso close-ups. 8 stars for the nudity (Misty Mundae as Erin Brown, Sheri Medulla, Rachel Crow, Scarlett Storm, Lydia Lael, Kathy Rice, Chrissy Lynn, Andrea Hall, Sarah Hunt....Bikini only-Kayla Browne, Barbir Kish) Guide: F-word, sex, and nudity Oh yea, women raped by sharks

There's no other way about it. You either love Bill's movies or you loathe them. I have had a soft spot for Bill's filmmaking style since I first saw one of his movies. It's not that they're bad because he doesn't know what he's doing. He knows exactly what he's doing. The best part of Bill's movies is his dialogue and awkward interactions with his actresses. He's comic gold. He knows what his viewers want and isn't afraid to give it to them. From the moment the dude pops his head out of the bathroom door and says his dick is "like clay" and calmly goes about "sculpting" it on the instructions of his girlfriend it's begun. NO man would be that calm about his dick being "clay-like"! It's too much! But I love it. Only a mind as obviously sharp as Bill Zebub's could imagine such an abomination. Just watch it because you like sarcasm and naked girls and you'll be in for a treat. Watch it and expect a masterpiece and you'll want to call a shrink after. Love it, hate it but just don't take it... seriously.