Cypress Creek

source: Cypress Creek

Tina (Jessica Willis) wins a U-Tube dare and goes to a cabin in the woods with 3 other friends. Here there is a tape recorder and they break a TV as evil things happen as an homage to "Evil Dead." The acting was hit and miss, i.e. the girls did better as evil characters The dialogue and scenes were mostly stolen from other films. The commentary on the film tells you where they stole obscure scenes from other films: "Predator 2", "The Ring," "Skeleton Key,: "Feardotcom," "Carrie", and "Ichi the killer." The commentary was unprofessional as we get to listen to the rustling of a bag of chip as well as the crunching while being eaten. The rest of the time they discuss why the scene didn't work and the film they wanted to make had they been able to get the insurance for using chainsaws.( Most chainsaws don't use the blade and have their sound dubbed.) Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity. Girls in bra/panties or a bikini because Jori's mother wouldn't her be shot in her undies.

'Lake Fear' or 'Cypress Lake' or 'A Haunting At Cypress Creek' as my DVD cover called it is the story of four girls wearing short shorts who go out to a remote cabin and things start to happen. By the end of the film one wonders, what did happen? What was that all about? Once inside the house there is a relentless barrage of choppy editing, useless acting, shots in focus, shots out of focus (this becomes terribly irritating) and some unconvincing gore towards the end to try and breathe life into a long expired movie. Acting-wise it was amateur, particularly when the girls were in their bloody make-up so you couldn't even tell them apart. The music score is hilariously bad and the director had obviously plundered his DVD collection for lots of the imagery. The sound effects weren't awful, mainly in the beginning, so compliments for that. Otherwise a tangled mess with no rhyme or reason. Sad Cypress indeed.

Literally trash, made by a man who is literally trash. Gerald Crum believes that trans rights are a matter of opinion, so if you want to support a TERF, have at it. Additionally, the writing is garbage, the plot is nonexistent, the underage girls in their underpants are unsettling, the actors have the talent of a wet sock and the effects are trash. The only thing this film has going for it is the set. Don't waste your time or money.

Though I was very confused the majority of the time, this flick had some interesting ideas and i was impressed with the makeup and some of the effects for a low budget film. I particularly enjoyed the dance sequence and the girl's performances towards the end. I just wish i understood the "evil" a bit better. I found myself unsettled and confused which i guess does mean the movie achieved its purpose. I only wish they had spent less time at the beginning over-sexualizing the girls and more time on exposition. I did enjoy the music in this and the random guy that showed up towards the end (though i'm not sure why he was there) he added some comic relief. I would actually call this a slow-burner considering a lot of time is spent watching the girls move around and looking confused and randomly witnessing creepy events.

At first I was pretty bored when the movie actually started, the acting made me sneer and the characters were just boring... Though my interest was sparked when that cat-eared one got pulled into the mud. Of course her acting made me cringe again. I was pretty hungry in the beginning of the movie but when I got to the end, I was no longer hungry, but sick. The end of the movie just seemed like series of disgusting gore-y scenes, starting from the tongue-splitting with a knife and ending with different other bloody scenes. What bothered me the most was the lack of actual screaming of pain. There was the guy who got stabbed to his hand repeatedly, the first reaction was just a gasp, followed by quite low grunts after next hits and the face was obviously faked. Normal human would do more than that. Anyway, I got to give it 3 points for actually managing to making me sick in stomach, doesn't happen often since I'm strong-stomached.

What a strange low-tier-budgetier this is. Starts off as a stereotypical teen flick, but then suddenly and inexplicably gets artsy. That would be like a song starting like Justin Bieber then going full dissonant harsh black metal. Sure, we've heard such nonsense combinations in the metal scene, but it almost never works. This doesn't either. Not only is the film a stylistic jumble, it also has a completely, and I mean COMPLETELY, incomprehensible plot. As soon as the supernatural stuff starts, the movie loses whatever little story it had. If I had to do a synopsis, it would go something like this: "Four cute teenage girls go to a remote cabin in the woods. Once there, stuff happens... You know... Stuff. They are being threatened and then possessed by... whatever." That's the best I can do. To illustrate how bizarrely muddled the events are, a male character shows up half-way through the movie, and there isn't an iota of an explanation where he'd come from or who he is. Nothing at all. He just shows up - in the house itself - and tries to protect himself and the blonde... from whoever/whatever. I have no clue who or what is the evil force here. It could be literally anything: witches, aliens, ghosts, hillbillies with supernatural powers, demons, you name it. The one good thing about the movie are several effectively eerie scenes, and the cute female cast. But a movie completely devoid of a story simply isn't a completed movie. It's just a failed or perhaps even aborted attempt. Nor do we even understand what these girls would want in a remote cabin. They have no TV there, no internet, no guys, nothing. Why are they there? The acting is mostly horrible. The girls' reactions to the eerie going-on are way too subdued. They either have nerves of steel or they are all catatonic.

From the very beginning, nothing made sense. I watched this for over 80 minutes and have no idea what the hell that movie was about. Please don't watch this. I promise, it will be the biggest mistake of your life.

The first of the movie wasted a ton of time introducing shallow characters without enough depth to warrant an intro. It should have given some time to a backstory or something that would have given some explanation as to what was going on because the rest of the movie never quite got around to explaining anything. There were some disturbing sequences and a few creepy moments that were pretty much just "Evil Dead" and "The Ring" ripoffs. In short- Acting= Terrible, Plot=none to speak of, FX= not terrible for the budget. I went in with low expectations and was still a little disappointed. I really wanted to like it but just couldn't get there. If you get a chance to watch for free and you have ran out of literally anything else to watch, go for it I guess. Just keep your expectations very low.

Open yourself up to this one, and let the writer take you into his mind (and into yours for that matter). If you want your usual "four teenagers go to the cabin and get slashed up" - go look elsewhere - there is plenty of that out there. I have never seen a movie like this. A one of a kind gem. Discerning viewers only for this one.