Cyclone

source: Cyclone

Trailer—Cyclone

Cyclone

Not too long ago, I saw a movie and in seeing it I thought I had witnessed the worst movie in history, but I couldnt be more wrong. This is in fact, the worst movie every. Let me tell you right off if you like guys wearing mullets, women with overteased hair, and terrible acting thrown on top like some type of sadistic cherry this is your movie! I struggled through the movie saying to myself over and over; "I am not a quiter!" I found the plot, worthless, the acting even worse, and the whole story line to drag on. I hated the whole movie and with good reason. How are you suppose to take a bad guy seriously when he is wearing lowcut Italian boots? (white haired guy) The one redeeming thing about this movie is the laser helmet. If I had that thing I would walk around baking everyone. So I have begun to construct my own.

The only thing I expected that this film didn't have was an intelligent, talking motorcycle. This film is just plain awful. I gave it 1 star, which of course, means I enjoyed it tremendously. Bad acting, bad writing, bad directing, bad fight choreography. The only real actor in this movie is Martin Landau, who of course does a good job playing the villain, although the character is your standard cardboard cutout evil CEO/Villain. Even the so-called "plot twist" at the end was no shock. There was so much to make fun of in this movie, I enjoyed it a lot. And it did have a few impressive car wreck stunts. Like bad movies? Check this one out, ouch. Want a good movie? Not here.

If you think StreetHawk look elsewhere, the Cyclone bike is severally underused, they kind of blew a good opportunity with this one. Lots of plot holes of why a Government scientist would hide a 5 million dollar bike with a new energy source and no one knows where it is, the other plot is also stupid when some government crooked people try to sell the bike to lucrative buyers. Heather Thomas was a knockout during those years sad she did not make a lot of movies, but its only eye candy because even with some good supporting cast this movie fails on every level.

This movie was in a box set with 20 others, with varying quality, & I can safely say that this title was right at the bottom of the heap. It is pointless to go through the plot, what there was of it, picking out what was wrong, as I haven't got all day & life is to short, which reminds me, I have just lost around 85 minutes of mine watching this tripe. The acting was diabolically bad in a way that made it funny, though only just, whilst the comedy elements like the two idiotic cops must have made any Laurel & Hardy fans groan. One of the only barely funny moments was when the leading lady made a joke about her former friends plastic T*ts, which would have been okay if I hadn't had to watch them bob around whenever she waddled on the screen. The lowest I can give is one, & it probably deserves that for having Heather Thomas in it, as she was certainly sexy & shapely, though her acting was as bad as everyone else.

I'm a huge fan of Dawn Wildsmith and Jeffrey Combs, although I originally rented this movie because Michelle Bauer suppossedly appears here but I didn't see her...Some of the action sequences were good, there's lots of action, three sexy and tough chicks (Ashley Ferrare, Heather Thomas, Danw Wildsmith)... Fred had done it again, I give it three stars out of four.

This 80's actioner is sort of like a film length version of Streethawk with Heather Thomas from The Fall Guy as the bike riding heroine. She is kitted out in tight clobber and a Lita Ford haircut, which all works for me. The story revolves around a super motorbike called Cyclone which runs on oxygen which is sought by evil agents, blah blah blah. There is a nice array of genre movie regulars in stock roles, the pace is fast, the stunts are well-executed and Heather's bike can fire lasers - so there is plenty of low brow entertainment to be had in this one. Surprisingly good fun.

What a great cast (Jeffrey Combs! Dar Robinson! Martine Beswick! Martin Landau even!) and what an uninteresting film they appear in. In fact there seems to be too many cast members. In one scene the tied- down heroine has two villains in the room, then another, then another, then the chief villain makes an appearance. You can tell that the script writer has no idea on what to do with them. It's a disorganised soup of a film. The plot involves a super motor bike (gosh, that's original!)and the machinations surrounding it. The super bike itself looks like what it probably was, a real bike with painted cardboard surrounds. It does shoot missiles and laser beams but like the story it is totally unconvincing. Though I must give a good word for Heather Thomas, and not because she looks sensational in tight jeans. (Though she does.)She gives an energetic performance with moments of charm and moments of grit. Shame really, she deserved a better vehicle. (Ho,ho!)