Cocaine Shark

Gfb!!!

doesn't even deserve a ⭐ rating. 🙄

This year saw the release of not only Cocaine Bear...but a series of D-grade, ultra low budget spinoffs, like Cocaine Cougar...and, of course, this piece of Polonia produced trash...Cocaine Shark. Which is not exactly what you'd think it would be, judging by the image on the poster...ie a giant shark, high on cocaine. Rather, cocaine is spiked with some sort of bio-chemical, derived from sharks, that makes addicts hallucinate that they are shark-like humanoid creatures. Or, more inexplicably, "crab sharks"...which manifest with a combination of shark and "crab" features (though they are more lobster like, in actuality). On top of this iconic creativity...it features the piss poor dialogue you'd expect from a homemade horror...and some of the worst acting to ever grace the screen. But the creatures- rendered with stop motion- are actually kind of cool. In a lame sort of way. But that doesn't make the title any less misleading. Whether you like it (and why would you?), or not, this is sort of trash that Polonia has made a name for himself doing. Leaving you to wonder how he actually manages to fund these projects. My guess, would be from the overtime shifts at his McDonald's job. But you've got to admire his passion. Because there's no doubt he knows he sucks at making films...but doesn't let that slow him down. As he shamelessly persists to produce worse and worse films...that are somewhat, laughably, entertaining. Luckily, this one is relatively short. So it's not to much of a burden to watch...when you want to get your cinemasochism on. 2 out of 10.

This movie was the worst thing ever 1 SINGLE SHARK ATTACK YUP GET SPOILED THIS MOVIE WAS SO BAD I LITERALLY MADE A ACCOUNT TO WRITE THIS. This movie was boring i was literally losing my mind the plot was everywhere like what are you doing making this in a basement with facepaint for A SLASH ON THE FACE this movie literally makes me so mad i cannot say it in so many words SPIDERMAN LOTUS THE WORST MOVIE OF ALL TIME Is better than this 1.9 in GENEROUS this Garbage should have a 0.5 but thats impossible rating so give it like a 1 MAXIUM this movie should be jailtime if you like this movie everyone who rated this 10 stars WATCH SOMETHING GOOD.

If you've seen Cocaine Bear and are excited to see what Cocaine Shark has to offer, may be you should hold your horses. Originally titled Kanizame Shakurabu, this movie was renamed to shamelessly cash in on Cocaine Bear, to the point where the cover art for the DVD/blu-ray is literally marketing a movie that doesn't actually exist. To be clear, there's very few sharks in this and even less cocaine. Cocaine Shark may actually have found life just selling exactly what it is, a very silly B movie featuring mutated creatures, bad acting, and cheap effects. It does at least remain humourous, since the movie is very well aware of how bad it is, and stop motion and cheesy graphics are always a pleasure. Cocaine Shark feels like a student movie, or something that would have aired on the SyFy Channel. It's not as bad as it seems, but also not good either.

I remembered when the movie was announced and of course I was planning to watch it. I mean, an insane title such as "Cocaine Shark" just screams of a movie you have to watch. Granted, I wasn't harboring any expectations to the movie at all, after having seen the trailer. And now I finally had the opportunity to sit down and watch "Cocaine Shark". And let me just clarify that "Cocaine Shark" from writer Bando Glutz and director Mark Polonia is by no means a contender to the hilarious "Cocaine Bear" movie. Not even remotely. Nay, "Cocaine Shark" is an abysmal movie in every possible aspect. The storyline in "Cocaine Shark" was pretty simplistic. The writing was bland and the narrative was amazingly mundane and sluggish. There was nothing thrilling or exciting about the storyline, unless you consider it being a massive dumpster fire as being exciting. The acting performances in the movie were amateurish, wobbly, questionable and laughable at best. Needless to say that there wasn't a single famous performer on the cast list. Not even Nicolas Cage would touch this with a stick. The special effects in "Cocaine Shark" were exactly that; special. Yeah, you have to see how crappy and poor the special effects, practical effects and CGI effects are throughout the course of the 76 minutes that the movie ran for in order to believe that something like that actually comes to see the light of day in 2023. The movie's cover/poster over-sells the movie a million times. Yeah, there was no shark looking like that in the movie. Nope, not even remotely. The sharks in the movie were either toy sharks or horribly rendered CGI sharks that wouldn't even fool a blind man. There are plenty of horrible and laughable shark-themed movies out there, but "Cocaine Shark" is definitely a contender for the top three of crappy shark movies. Do yourself a favor and stay well clear of "Cocaine Shark". Some of us suffered through this, literally, so you don't have to. My rating of "Cocaine Shark" lands on a one out of ten stars.

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source: Cocaine Shark

Cocaine Shark is a 2023 film by Mark Polonia. A Mafia Drug Lord has unleashed a new addictive stimulant made from sharks in a lab but there are monstrous side effects. Unlike Jurassic Shark 3 where it takes a relatively normal low budget shark movie and jumps that shark this time they jumped that shark right from the beginning. This movie feels like a little bit of a disappointment with almost a bait and switch approach. I was expecting a shark high on cocaine instead I get a mutant shark movie that probably would have come out with a different name if it hadn't been for Cocaine Bear. It is also kind of sad that he monsters kind of take a back seat for the plot of the film as it revolves around the drug dealing and criminal activity far more. I think the more appropriate title would have been "shark cop" but that might have given things away. I kind of feel bad for Kyle Rappaport in this one, he had been climbing the Polonia ladder with him being in most of the length of Jurassic Shark 3 but not making it past the opening credits here, he does multitask in this one, however so one could say that he has a much bigger role as its 4 small ones and it can be fun to try and spot where he shows up. Much the same it is good to see him in the field and hope to see him utilized in more fun and entertaining ways. I've come to look for Polonia in his films, no matter the film he is always fun to spot. I'm glad to see Titus Himmelberger in the Staring role, he handles the role fairly well and I've enjoyed what I've seen him in thus far. Most of the acting is in the typical Microbudget quality but never so bad that it destroys emersion or becomes comically bad. I do really like the setting, it was nice on Jurassic Shark and pretty good here as well. I really like some of the effects with stop motion or the odd creations and mutations for creatures. When it comes to Polonia shark movies I really enjoy a lot of the practical effects but I don't feel I get to enjoy them long enough here the Cheesy effects are on full display and utilized pretty well. I do hope to see more stop motion from Polonia in the future. Music wise it isn't terrible, the music works, though isn't particularly good or bad. Cocaine shark has a lot of potential to it. I do feel with a different title expectations would be a bit better. I went in looking for a shark High on Cocaine and came out with a movie about a human high on shark. If you are looking for a lower budget police thriller with shark monsters you are in the right place. If you are looking for a movie like Cocaine Bear, don't bother.

And it is not very good at all, even compared to most rip off film standards. The film starts off with a random character death in the first five minutes, and then takes a really strange noir turn after that which makes it very hard to follow. After that, it becomes a bit of a drag to be perfectly honest. The effects are really bad, which makes it not really super fun to watch. Although some of the puppetwork is to be at least acknowledged. There are too many plot points going on to to follow, and it can be a bit much to get invested in any one of them when all of them are really just barely even fleshed out. Then there is virtually no character development, and it all ends up feeling like a waste of 70 minutes.