Cemetery High

Lemme tell 'ya sumthin' about this movie! Every once and a while a movie comes along that is so bad that a person would have to try to have made it that bad, this is one of those movies. Coming forth under the shadows of fellow movies in it's ludicrously cult genre such as The Toxic Avenger and the like, this movie has violence (though not enough) gore (again, not enough) and of course explicit nudity (once again, not enough). Cemetery High is without a doubt one of the best B-movies I've ever seen and notably one of the funniest.

I was Facebook friends with Carmine Capobianco (really nice guy, btw). I mentioned something about wanting to see all of his movies, and he actually told me "You can probably skip Cemetery High". And damned if he wasn't right-it's pretty bad 😣😣😣 Start with Psychos In Love or Galactic Gigolo instead...

Geez, even the "American Pie" movies are better than this. "Cemetery High" is just a pile of garbage that comes at the end of the barrell of 80's trash. The humor is dated, boring, some times cheesy, and I can't remember any particular scene where I chuckled or even frowned a smile. The gore is just okay for a cheesy movie like this. It's uncalled for but it's still decent. The acting is putrid! and the clichèd characters are stupid enough to be soon forgotten. The direction looks pathetic and makes you wonder if the production would have a budget superior to 1000 dollars. I don't recommend it for anything! there aren't memorable scenes. Watch this only if you are in the mood to bash a horrible, boring, misleading movie with a decent title. Think about stupid rock tunes, horrible humor from the 80's, pathetic f/x, and horrible dialogs. Ugh. Avoid it all costs. I watched this movie years ago only because it aired on USA's "Up All Night". Good memories!

According to the director this movie was taken from him and butchered into the incomprehensible mess that is Cemetery High. He apparently has washed his hands of both this and Galactic Gigolo. Now Galactic Gigolo isn't great, but it has its moments and can be enjoyed when you are desperate for more from the people who brought you Psychos in Love. Cemetery High on the other hand is a nearly joyless affair. Perhaps one day this movie will be reassembled by the director and a result all the children of the Earth will live in peace and harmony. Holding one's breath while waiting for this day to come is not advisable. It is double plus inadvisable that one watch this movie under any circumstances. It's a gosh darn shame that things turned out the way they did between Gorman Bechard and Wizard, Cult Epics, Full Moon or whatever Charles Band is calling his company these days. We'll never know what the Psychos in Love gang might have given us had they not been so thoroughly screwed.

Absolutely horrid. Barely any T&A and maybe a hair more Gore than T&A. It wouldn't have been so bad (or noticeable) if it wasn't for that awful Gong and Horn which made it seem like something it wasn't. Much more T&A (as well as comedy) in other flicks such as The Invisible Maniac.

I found out about this movie from a friend. He said it was the only movie ever that he was not able to watch all the way through. That sounded like a challenge to me and I am so glad I watched it. It's very Troma-like except that the jokes are actually funny and they don't show the gore. The only thing I didn't like was that they rarely used the Gore Gong. It would have been funnier if they had used it every time someone died. Most low budget movies have a lot of things that don't make sense and this movie really only had one instance of that. They show an older married couple in their kitchen for eleven seconds. They never talk and there is nothing in the movie to explain why they are there or who they are until the end credits. I've seen some reviews here crying that the title is misleading. Those people must only watch Oscar winners because at least half of the movies I watch have titles that don't make sense. This is a good movie. Watch it.

After being raped and/or beaten up by men, high school grads Kate (Debi Thibeault), Michelle (Lisa Schmidt), Dianne (Simone) and Kathy (Karen Nielsen) turn vigilante and aspire to wipe out "scum-sucking @SSholes!" Slobs, bikers, barflies, wannabe rapists, anyone who hits on them with a bad come-on line and, in one case a guy who's just harmlessly walking down the street, are all wasted. Each time violence or nudity is shown, the warning gimmicks "gore gong" and "hooter honk" (a horn) are sounded. It's fun at first, but runs itself into the ground pretty quickly. The girls tell each other it's time to get naked, whine when they get blood on their shoes and fight over who gets to kill who. The mock documentary approach (also used in Bechard's PSYCHOS IN LOVE), where characters talk directly to the camera, is fun and used well. OK, this is desperate, stupid, senseless film-making and the cheap comic gags are often irritating, but it did make me laugh out loud several times.