Caddy Hack

source: Caddy Hack

Caddy Hack is (obviously) a zero-budget, horror-comedy ripoff of Caddyshack. This movie's central character, at least for the bulk of the film, seemed to be the groundskeeper. Yes, the Bill Murray character, only this guy (and how he's written) is violently unfunny. Anyway, he poisons the gophers, who turn deadly. The groundskeeper, the owner, the caddies, with every subsequent character introduced, and there's a whole string of them, only seem to make this movie worse. To add insult to injury, the lame soundtrack, score, and goofy sound effects only seemed to magnify how bad everything is. So, for reasons unknown to me, Trum... er, the owner of the golf course brings in his niece, Becky, to be Caddy Manager(?!). As far as I was concerned, this character is introduced as Eye Candy, giving off a Bridget-Fonda-in-her-prime vibe. Then she spoke. Ok, eye candy it is. I sat through the full 75 minutes, and I have to totally backtrack. Full props must be given to actress Chrissy Cavallo (as Becky). She is hands-down the funniest person in this whole movie. As a matter of fact, once her relationship with "the nerd," Googie (Jake Foy) is introduced... by her driving 37 golf balls straight to his crotch, and they break into a song, "Balls Deep in Love," Caddy Hack shifts into a typical Wild Eye-frenetic pace. This movie gets quite entertaining with this turn of events. And once the toxi-fied zombie gophers get to breeding, a la Gremlins, or Critters (albeit with an even lower budget), there's great fun to be had with the deadly gophers partying, running out of beer, and making a beer run disguised as a human! One of the caddies recruits his Goth kid brother, who plans to blow up his school, to blow up the gophers for him. I detested the set-up time that compromised the first half of this movie, but once it gets its legs, it is a total blast (literally) to watch. I'm balancing my score out to a solid 7. Writer/director Anthony Catanese has INVENTED more nonsensical insults here than in any other movie I've seen. The formula is simple: Take two unrelated vulgar words, put them together, and ta-da! Over and over and over. Not necessarily the funniest thing, but it's certainly another wacky characteristic of this, uh, pretty off-kilter movie. Oh, they directly rip off the Beastie Boys, too, during the closing credits. Sit through them all, and they freaking CONGRATULATE you for making it through the whole movie! That's the perfect ending to Caddy Hack.

After a string of strange accidents, the owner of a fancy golf resort discovers the crimes are being committed by a pack of ravenous gophers mutated by a secret serum used to treat the property for an upcoming tournament and must rely on the less-than-capable staff members left alive to deal with the situation. This was a delightfully fun and cheesy genre effort. One of the better elements here is the rather fun storyline that manages to be endearingly cheesy enough to set up the jokes as well as be a serviceable creature feature. The situations present here involving the presence of the creatures stirred up by the special chemical treatment being used for the tournament that raises the stake of the facility in the community's standings, the importance it has on the owner, and the desire to see the creatures stopped before they can ruin the event all serve the film nicely. This is all a workable enough setup, but to use the situation as a means to string a series of silly slapstick and stupid work-play puns that are so stupid they become funny makes for a generally fun time here. It's all incredibly juvenile and somewhat stupid so the humor has to work but for those who can appreciate this type of comedy the film comes off incredibly well in that department. That setup allows for a solid series of cheesy and goofy creature feature attacks to take place here. The silly effects for the creatures here being obvious puppets and cheesy attachments done to show their mutated state fit perfectly in line with the rest of the comedy here, especially once that brings about the series of attacks that occurs here. There are not a whole lot of serious attacks that take place in the second half when they start to get a bit more obvious about the creatures attacking the various workers at the facility which leads to all sorts of goofy scenarios, wacky confrontations, and plenty of sight gags that get a bit bloody and brutal in how graphic they get. With a breathless pace that keeps it fun, these all come together for a lot to like here even though there are some problems here that do hold this back. The most obvious and egregious issue is the aforementioned type of comedy present here which is pretty much the exact definition of personal preference. The jokes and situations here are obviously done to be tongue-in-cheek and silly in the best way but that also leaves a slew of stupid gags and jokes that border on the wrong kind of comedy. Far too much of this one can easily come off with the mindset of people being too stupid to live as long as they have with some of the comments and situations here being made purely for the sake of the joke that realistically shouldn't be the case so everything has that air of stupidity present to help sell the comedy. That's all pretty much fine for some but not all as its purely personal preference and tolerance, much like the low-budget effects and ambitious actions that the budget can't really cover that end up being the main drawbacks. Rated Unrated/R: Graphic Language and Graphic Violence.

Of course I had never heard about this 2023 horror comedy from writer and director Anthony Catanese prior to stumbling upon it by random chance. And believing it to be a spoof on the classic 1980 movie "Caddy Shack", and given the fact that it was a horror comedy that I hadn't already seen, of course I opted to sit down and watch the movie. I have to admit that I sat down to watch the movie with absolutely no expectations, so writer and director Anthony Catanese had every opportunity to impress, bedazzle and entertain me with "Caddy Hack". However, he didn't manage to do so. The storyline in "Caddy Hack" was simplistic and not particularly funny. And despite of the movie running for only a mere 75 minutes, it was quite a struggle to sit through given the lousy writing that compiled the storyline and script. The acting performances in "Caddy Hack" were pretty dubious. Some of the actors and actresses were unable to hold a straight face while delivering their dialogue, or while others were delivering their dialogue. And some of them were unable to not stare right into the camera during their scenes. It should also be noted that some of the actors and actresses on the cast list were actually fair enough, and they certainly did their part to carry the movie. Needless to say that I wasn't familiar with a single actor or actress on the cast list here in this movie. Nor can I claim that I was impressed with what I witnessed on the screen. The special effects in the movie were exactly just that; special. The gophers looked just like plush toys and it was so difficult to take it serious, despite it supposed to be a horror comedy. It was just so amazingly low budget and low key. Now, I am sure that there actually is an audience out there for a low budget horror comedy such as "Caddy Hack". I just happened not to be a part of that particular audience. The movie's cover/poster was actually the best part about the ordeal. My rating of "Caddy Hack" lands on a two out of ten stars.

The caddies of Old Glory Holes Golf Club are being killed off. Welles Landon (Jim Gordon), the owner, doesn't want his members to have to see death. There's also a big tournament coming and the murders would get in the way. Hopefully, personal assistant Ms. Flannager (Ilene Sullivan) and groundskeeper Hambone (Nick Twist) can stop whatever is happening. Hambone might be the reason behind all of this terror. His new lawn spray has turned the once nice and cuddly gophers into human-mesticating monsters. Maybe Landon can build a wall and get the gophers to pay for it. We'll remember the partying caddies -- Smitty (John Evans), Hoh Boy (Dave Lavelle), Dim (David Olsen Jr.), Fingers (Travis Frank) and Biggles (Mike Paquin) -- that have lost their lives so that these gophers can party and sneak into convenience stores in trenchcoats to get beer with a fake ID. Some may watch this movie and think how goofy it all is. They have such a small worldview and should not be trusted. You should not watch a movie with them. I bet they never played putt putt ever. Get new friends and watch this movie a lot.

Caddy Hack