Bridegroom

source: Bridegroom

I've watched the documentary (twice). Well documented and logically assembled. Both of the prevailing characters in this love story lived what almost every undisguised person, gay or straight, would probably chose. Of all of the characters in this narrative that have prevailed the death, only two are sincerely pathetic. The homophobic father that could never accept his son being gay and the mother, being, in reality, worse than the father in that she was both homophobic and duplicitous. As I grow older, having lived a parallel experience, I am now more thankful that my companion passed respected by everyone, including his mother. I can assure any open minded viewer, you will be touched.

Beautiful, powerful moving and raw. This was a well done, absolutely heartfelt documentary profiling the emotional journey of Shane and Tom, two young men in a loving and committed relationship, who's time together is cut tragically short when Tom is killed in a freak accident after stepping off a roof while taking pictures. For the most part this profiles (almost as a warning Shane's struggle after the accident, as without any legal rights the hospital won't let him view the body and then is left devastated when Tom's family prevent him from having anything to do with or even attending the funeral. I will be thinking about this for a long time, not so much the legal end of things (change is a coming) but the love that Shane lost. I wish him well. 10.13

Just watched this on Netflix and was blown away by it. Superbly directed and constructed account of a truly wonderful love story with a heart-breaking ending. These two guys were destined to share their lives. It was obvious from all the comments from friends and one of the families that these guys were soul mates. Both were fine handsome young men who lived their lives to the full and enjoyed similar interests. You cannot fail to be moved by this beautiful account of their individual upbringing by their loving families. Sadly one of the guy's parents wasn't supportive of their son's sexuality - and despite that, he still loved them dearly. The other guy was supported wholeheartedly by his family. This story has a very tragic ending - in more ways than one. This is one of the most beautiful factual love stories that I've ever seen. The story will live with you forever. You really should check this one out.

Interestingly, Bridegroom I think serves as a reminder that the MPAA ratings system is a little challenged these days. When I saw the R rating, I was baffled. I don't really remember there being any profanity, maybe one F-bomb. I find it so bizarre when documentaries are held to the same language standards as narrative features, because often those words are taken from actual events, or interviews. Most documentaries have a very strong learning aspect to them, and to rate a documentary R simply because of a few curse words seems extreme to me. Bridegroom refers to the last name of the subject of the documentary, Tom Bridegroom, a young gay man who tragically fell to his death on May 7th, 2011, leaving behind his partner Shane. This tragedy has already gotten a lot of media attention, mainly due to a 10 minute video that went viral ahead of this documentary being made. People instantly resonated with Shane's story, about not being able to really say goodbye, and being prevented from attending the funeral of his partner. Gay or straight, to already have to lose the most important person in your life, and then have this unnecessary hate compounding on top, is infuriating. I'd imagine Martha Bridegroom and her husband get nasty looks on a daily basis. I think I would have appreciated Bridegroom more had I not seen the 10 minute version prior to this. Honestly, there's a ton of filler regarding Shane's life growing up, and Tom's life growing up. The most interesting part of the story isn't that, it's the details about how Tom's family handled his death, and prevented Shane from being a part of the funeral. While it is nice to hear anecdotal comments about Shane and Tom, and knowing that Shane's family accepted him for who he was, I feel like we skimped on the gut wrenching details of Shane's dangerous journey to Tom's funeral. It's like the director believed we needed the first hour of the film to really believe that Shane and Tom were in love, and that the rest would just fall into place. I needed a better balance, because I realize what their ace in the hole is. The fact is, if Tom had died, and Tom's family let Shane come to the funeral and treated him like a normal human being, we'd never have heard of this story. Shane would have never been a viral hit, and this movie would have never been made. As insensitive as it may seem to say this, we want to see the good stuff. That being said, I think it is still an effective documentary, especially for those who are totally unfamiliar with this story. I think it does a good job of presenting the facts, and establishes Shane as an incredibly likable guy early on. That's important, because this is all his side of the story. The Bridegroom Brood is never on screen with their rebuttal. In fact, I can't even find anything online from them saying that this stuff isn't true. I know that the producers of Bridegroom are hoping for a Best Documentary nomination this year, but I just don't think it'll happen. It'll do fairly well on Netflix, and it will help with the overall cause of marriage equality. It lacks the gravitas needed to compete against a lot of the heavier films that are typically nominated for an Oscar.

As a gay man with a partner this film really struck the heart strings. It caries a powerful message that in America not all couples are equal or have equal rights. I feel this film made a big splash because of its trailer and the pre-movie video that went viral and the fact that OWN picked it up also played a factor. On the technical side of it there were some things I didn't like hence my 8 out of 10 rating. I feel this area probably hurt the film. I am a photographer and a Director of Photography and some of the shots were so far out of the box for me that it was distracting because it wasn't pleasing to the eye such as framing, but over all great film that more people should see.

As an older gay man I have learned to to emotionally stuff my feelings down a long dark hole. I never even cried at my father's funeral. And felt guilty for it. But frankly, I wept and wept repeatedly after watching this documentary. You will first be angry at the cruelty and inhumanity shown to Shane (the surviving partner of this gay couple) by the family of his dead lover. Their inability to come to terms with both the sexuality and the death of their child is a living horror story. You will want to reach through the screen and smack Tom's mother right in the head. Then you will rethink. You can not escape ultimately feeling sorry for them. So bitter, so cruel, so filled with hate for what their son really was they are coming apart emotionally at the seams. And they will do--anything--to try and erase reality and history. I watched it a second time. What a lesson in living, the shortness of life and the need to say over and over to those who matter that you love them. Tap-Tap-Tap. Gotta go. I'll start crying again...and then I'll be inspired. Again.

For a while, I felt interested but a bit removed. Certainly the story is tragic, but there are so many tragic tales in the world. Certainly any homophobia is horrific, but when there are still gay men being lynched, this story seemed not nearly as dramatic and shocking as others. And its style is basic – talking head interviews with friends and family, home videos, photographs. I thought (in my smug liberal way) that its good for the country to see a film showing how normal, likable and in love two young men could be. But this wasn't news to me. It felt rudimentary, aimed at those who had never known a gay couple and realized 'hey, they're just people'. But then something strange happened. In the film's last half hour it built into an emotional tidal wave. I didn't realize I was hit until I suddenly started to cry. These two men were so deeply, sweetly in love, and Shane Crone, rather than simply crawl into a shell after the untimely death of the love of his life, and after being barred from the funeral by the homophobic family, and dealt many other emotional (and legal) cuts and bruises only because he and his life partner were gay, managed to rally himself, and make a you tube video that has reached millions with an impossible to argue with plea for gay marriage. That he could take this devastating loss, add mistreatment, and instead of giving up on life do something important and life affirming was profoundly affecting. Suddenly the whole film seemed to have more weight. I wept through the very moving responses his video (the one that got me is a self proclaimed life-long redneck, vowing to never oppose gay lovers again). Even the end credits full of thousands of names of those who cared enough to contribute to the Kickstarter campaign for the film moved me with joy for the resilience of human beings, the fact that things are getting better, and that love is still the most powerful thing in the human experience, both in personal and political terms.

This movie spans the chasm of emotions touching every one of them! Love does not discriminate- neither should people. This should get your blood to boil to act! This could happen to anyone and this very situation is worrisome to me on a daily basis. When I began to watch, I had no idea what I getting into but as it progressed I was absolutely glued in one place my mind spinning in place like a monopoly wheel not sure which emotion to land on. I'm disappointed in the MPAA for rating this R for 'some language' when so many other movies are so much worse and get a lower rating! Watch and spread the word- love is equal, it is not reserved for the heterosexuals!

A bona fide tearjerker! I am oblivious of Shane's youtube videos, which kickstarts this feature- length picture, but the film needs to be seen by literally everyone, whether for or against the same sex equity, it is deeply heartfelt and perspicaciously educational, I think whoever as long as hold a small fraction of mercy in their hearts, regardless of their religious convictions, after watching this film, it will be a game-changer for the prejudiced and a touchstone for a mightier love above social class, creed, race, color and gender. The documentary is about Shane and Tom, a gay couple being together for 6 years until Tom died of falling from a rooftop accidentally in 2011 (aged 29), the interviewers (Shane, his families and their friends) chart the story of their lives from Shane's childhood, his bullied school days and his struggling self-identification of being a gay man while Tom attended a first-rate high school albeit his blue-collar family background, and turned out to be an all-American boy, handsome, macho, outgoing, a role model excels both in sports and academy. After fate let them meet in L.A., their relationship epitomizes the most desiring lover-*-soulmate perfection one could ever dream of, which causes the ensuing tragedy far more harrowing to bear. A familiar juncture for almost every gay person, the coming-out process, particularly to Tom's parochial family, it was an incubus, which sheerly contrasts with the understandable reaction from Shane's family, however, it is all evinced secondhand by Shane and their friends, since Tom's family adopted the silent treatment to the invitation of the production team to be part of the film, surely we will never know the story from the other side, which is a minor glitch in this otherwise viscerally affecting picture. Nevertheless, a more contingent fact is how the young soul's passing provoked much more indignation when Tom's family flagrantly shut down Shane out of the funeral and expunged their entire life together as if it never happened, it is an atrocious transgression towards our very basic canon as human beings, it is love unites us, differentiates us and sublimates us from other creatures on earth, and propels our society to move on to a better world, so even though BRIDEGROOM (which is Tom's family name, what a pertinent one!) is hardly a ground-breaking piece of art work (SMS interaction, video footages, travel photography is all it has to render the narrative aside common interviews with apt editing), it is a film should not be missed and I do hope the cost of a young life can be at least in some level compensated by awakening more conservative minds to evaluate the world with a more humane mind and encouraging more individuals to embrace their true color. Also, best wishes to Shane, you are lucky enough to experience true love and don't lose hope, live long and prosper!