Breeders

"Breeders" is a great example of a guilty pleasure. **SPOILERS** A meteorite crash-lands near a College University, and a piece is removed and taken for study. Art teacher Ashley Rowe, (Todd Jensen) and student Louise, (Samantha Janus) suspect something weird is involved with the fragment, and a murder on campus finally convinces them. After several more women disappear from the college, they begin to investigate the meteorite more. A police force arrives to deal with the story, and they all end up slaughtered. Police Chief Horace, (Nigel Harrison) trying to save face after the disaster, agrees with the two faculty members that an alien force is loose on campus and they have to work together to put a stop to it. The Good News: There are very few examples of a cheese-fest, but this one clearly falls into that category. Practically everything here is an example. From the constant nudity to the almost non-descriptive story to the setting, everything here has a feeling of cheese. There's some moments that are indicative of other styles creeping in. A long sequence where the alien stalks a group of policemen through a series of catacombs. It shows the main sign in the film where it doesn't try to be a cheesy film and aspires to something more serious. It has some suspense woven through, a couple of minor shocks when the creature comes roaring out to take a victim, and the combination makes it look a lot more like a horror film than a cult film. The creature itself is one of the best parts, with the appearance of a large imposing creature, with big claws, a huge mid-section and mean, imposing head with large fangs and rows of teeth. It makes for an impressive looking creature. And then there's the nudity, again, which is never a bad thing either. The Bad News: Any movie with this much cheese has some bad things with it. The biggest one to hurt this film is it's very slow pace. It doesn't seem like the kind of plot that should sustain a film as long as this one is, forcing a lot of scenes to carry out longer than they should and ruining the pace. It's not as tight as it should be, and at times, it meanders around for far too long than it should. There is also a lot of moments that are either written to the point of confusion or show what little thought was put into it. The college that only has about a dozen or so attendants. There's only one teacher on campus, and therefore one class being taught, and the entire subplot with the police are mere examples. There is some other small little outcries here and there, but they aren't as damaging to the film as the other ones are. The Final Verdict: Guilty of mainly being a cheese-fest, that doesn't mean it's all that bad. It's got a little bit of everything that makes it a little better than it should be. It's still got some problems, so take caution with it and it will be, at best, a guilty pleasure. Rated R: Graphic Language, Nudity, Graphic Violence, and attempted interspecies Rape

I decided to pick up this movie after seeing it on the bargain rack at a Best Buy, and while it didn't totally stink, it still made me want to kick myself for having bought it. The plot centers around an all-girls college campus in Massachusetts. An alien being has found its way to the school and begins to slaughter and hypnotize the female students. In my opinion, the school setting was picked just so that the filmmakers could throw in the "important" girls' locker room scene. The lead actor, Todd Jansen, seems familiar; I think I've seen him on a TV show or two. The female leads are atrocious and are basically just used as eye candy.

A meteorite crashes on Earth and unleashes an alien beast (Clifton Lloyd Bryan in an obvious and unconvincing rubber suit) that wants to procreate its species with nubile young human women on a Boston, Massachusetts college campus. It's up to lecherous jerk art teacher Ashley (a drippy performance by the charisma-challenged Todd Jensen) to stop it. Writer/director Paul Matthews, who previously failed to deliver the goods with the lousy subterranean creature feature "Grim," doesn't do it once again with this celluloid stinkbomb: The overly talky script, sluggish pace, meandering narrative, complete dearth of tension and vitality, cruddy (less than) special effects, blah acting from an insipid cast, limply staged monster attack scenes, and an inert and unexciting climax all make this movie a heavy mind-numbing chore to endure. Worse yet, this drab flick crucially fails to realize the sleazy potential of its gloriously lurid premise: There's precious little in the way of either graphic gore or gratuitous female nudity. Only Samantha Janus' frequently erect nipples and the striking pulchritudinous presence of Kadamba Simmons as the mysterious space girl prevent this picture from being a total wash-out. A hopelessly tedious clunker.

Umm, basically everything you would expect from a bad b-rated horror flick. Poor acting, lame script, monster looking really fake, and characters who look and act like complete idiots.

It's strange what fate does to some people. While looking in the discount bin at a DVD retailer, I came across a copy of Deadly Instincts. Being a collector of any film that is either sci-fi, horror or featuring alien monsters, I decided to buy it (not to mention the fact that it cost five dollars – a bargain, believe me). After viewing it, I came to the opinion that it was nothing special. But after doing some research on the Internet, I discovered that the film was actually called Breeders & was a remake of the Tim Kincaid horror flick that menaced video stores in the mid-1980s. Which I've already seen. My appreciation of "Deadly Instincts" grew following that discovery. A meteorite crashes on the lawn next to a private girls' college. The sole teacher there, Ashley (played by Todd Jensen – that's right, the guy who gets turned into a cyborg in the cult flick CYBORG COP four years earlier), notices that some of the students are beginning to disappear, while encountering a black-haired woman with a scarred face & wearing a kinky leather outfit. His investigation reveals that an alien creature had hitched a ride on the meteorite & had come to Earth to breed using the local womenfolk. Along with a local detective who believes him to be responsible for the disappearances, Ashley tries to stop the monster. The original BREEDERS, directed by Tim Kincaid (who would leave the genre to make gay *), was a sci-fi / horror film which was actually a thinly-veiled soft-core * film designed to take skin flicks to genre fans. It is, in my belief, one of the worst films made in the 1980s. Why anyone would want to remake it is quite a mystery. This remake is actually a better effort than its low-budget source. The film, which takes the basic concept of an alien monster trying to interbreed with human women, eliminates any pornographic elements. In fact, the film is actually very tame. There are no sex scenes, no nudity (even during the shower scene), swearing & violence are kept to a minimal level & there is no gore (which may cheat gorehounds). This makes the remake a film safe for the whole family, that is if the kids aren't scared by alien monsters (which brings me to the film's M 15+ rating, which seems a bit much). Tameness of subject matter aside, the film does have some faults. The script, while featuring some good characterizations, has a number of holes so big you can crash a meteor through. What? You're mad at me for that? Come on, this review needed a bad pun so it will remain interesting. Anyway, the film's setting is one problem the script failed to fix – the film is set in Boston but the buildings don't look like they belong in Boston. Something about the architecture ain't right. Another thing is the college itself, with a rather large building housing about twenty students (all female, of course) & only having one class – art. The only teacher there has a relationship with a student (& so does the janitor!), which somehow escapes the attention of the principal. Not to mention the cops, who are so one-dimensional (& stupid) that the real Boston PD would have a good case if they ever decided to sue. Oh, & the meteor… well the chance that a meteor which is sent from Saturn (check the opening credits) reaches Earth with no onboard propulsion is astronomical. That doesn't include the chances that any passengers in the meteor will survive the landing. As far as the acting goes, Todd Jensen gives a dependable performance as the heroic teacher while the late Kadamba Simmons (who was murdered by her boyfriend shortly before the film came out) cuts a striking figure in that leather outfit, as well as proving she can act. The visual effects are run-of-the-mill, with credits due to the filmmakers for bringing us a cool-looking monster.

Of all the movies in the history of movies I can't imagine someone sitting down and saying, I want to spend X amount of dollars (or pounds sterling) to remake that flawed classic film called "Breeders." Lots of stories have been turned into films about meteors coming to Earth with something sinister lurking inside. Why not put your money into making a spectacular 3D remake of "It Came from Outer Space" instead? Why look for a dingy nudie flick that existed only for the purpose of showing off a rubbery set of monsters and some naked coeds? Was the script for the 1986 version of "Breeders" so inspiring that these producers felt it had to be done again and this time done correctly? When you come down to it, the only reason this film exists is to show off Britcom cutie pie Samantha Janus. But if you're gonna make a skin flick and exploit Sam Janus in it, you'd better have her more naked than this and naked more often than this if you want to succeed. Meteor lands ... monster escapes ... coeds duff their clothes ... monster eats people ... and another "what if?" ending ensues. Honestly, I never thought I would ever recommend the original "Breeders" over any other film but this would be the one to come in 2nd Place to it.

What a great looking monster when its not moving and computerised to look menacing, shame that when it appears it made Plan 9 look convincing. Samantha Janus must have accepted alot of money for this rubbish, only redeeming feature is the space warrior woman. Watch and laugh and then cry when you realise its longer than 10 minutes.

After a meteorite lands in "Boston" (really somewhere in the Isle of Man), a hideous, fanged alien monster is released and is on the loose in a local girl's school, causing mayhem and turning the students into zombie-like creatures. This film is apparently a loose (and I stress loose) remake of the 1986 film with the same name, as it features the same monster but a different plot. Both films are terrible, but to the credit of the 1986 version, it was watchable. This isn't. Let's start with all the problems—the acting, especially from the lead professor, was very, very bad. This film is supposed to take place in Boston (we know this because the film makers had the ingenious idea of putting "Boston police" or "Boston gas company" on everything), yet everyone seems to have rather muddled British accents (At least they didn't try using Boston accents, thank God). The script is a big flawed mess. The best example of how dumb the writing is when it's established that you can turn the zombie-students back into humans by removing a necklace containing a piece of the meteorite. Is that what our brave heroes do? No, they run around SHOOTING the zombie-students instead. Nice. Director Paul Matthews, who also wrote/directed the weak 1995 monster movie "Grim", clearly doesn't know how to pace his films. The movie is terribly boring in places. The lighting is awful. The film looks cheap and bland. One of the most disappointing aspects is the lack of notable gore. 99% of the death scenes involve the creature popping out of a dark corner and dragging someone away, while we hear they're "horrified" screams off in the distance. This convention never worked well in the past, and certainly doesn't work here. The visual effects were AWFUL. The CG opening sequence in space looked like it could have been created on Microsoft Slideshow for God's sake! The "explosion" of the Gas tanks at the end was just as awful. Okay, I like to consider myself a fair critic, so I'll give credit where credit's due--the creature effects were actually pretty cool. Gotta love those close-ups of slimy, drooling teeth! To sum the film up, "Breeders" is a terrible, cheaply made horror movie that should be avoided like the Ebola virus. Not recommended. 1.5/10.

This was a pathetic movie. The Alien was decent, but the movie itself gave a new meaning to pitiful. The plot is something that's been done over and over again! However, this one does it the worst! The acting was c**p, the scenes were often too dark to get what was going on. No one developed any concern for the main character. The movie was far too slow paced, and the murder scenes that there were were foolishly crafted and ended up looking no more interesting than the rest of the movie. There are some movies which "suck" but can still be enjoyed because of there total outrageousness, but this doesn't even have that!! Whoever made this film thought that they could make something good and they failed miserably. There is nothing this movie has to offer except a headache. Avoid it!

If you are going to have a gruesome beast like the one pictured on the cover of the DVD, don't have so many supporting actresses and actors that are pure idiots. The beast was seen here and there and was very vague. It was set in an all girls college, so why was a man the leading actor and the so called hero of everyone. The B in B horror on this one would be bore......Don't like the DVD, so you can buy it from me and see for yourself.......Why did they put this on DVD anyway?