Breeders

I don't know what to make of this movie except to wonder who let this movie be made. This film seemed like it started out to be one of those Adult-Film scripts that someone else got a hold of and said, "Hey, I can add to it and make it more mainstream!" To be honest, it would have been horrid as an adult X-rated film, and it is horrible as an R-rated film. It's so "T & A" its ridiculous. I think it would have been alot better if they HAD went to the adult film genre to cast some of these folks. The idea of some outer space, etc., creatures coming down to earth to "re-populate" their dying species is not a new one...in Sci-fi, Horror or..in adult rated films. Neither was sending the creatures to "slimy" 1980-esque New York City to do so. But this was just a bunch of bad acting, bad special effects, bad writing..with not one redeeming quality to it. It's not campy, it just stupid. I guess in our Sci-Fi heart of hearts, we all wanted the film to go "somewhere" with it's theme, but it just kept going into the gutter. Pass on this one.

This is a movie that I owned for such a long time, why? Because it was so bad, it was good. In my personal vision it was a huge guilty pleasure that I'm guilty of owning. The story tells of a mysterious occurrence of young virgin women getting raped and experiencing selective memory loss. The only problem is, the people who are responsible for this violent act some sort of slimy creature that lives beneath the city. Things become even more complicated when the DNA match turns out to be not human. What this movie does do a good job of is the gore and creature features that are peppered throughout this tale. However, what this movie does not do a good job is the acting. It had a very interesting concept of combining * with horror, through even with good intention it fell through the roof. First off, this movie had some very good gore and creature effects that I did not expect this movie to have. When it came to things popping out of people's stomachs, tearing open skin, attacking people and horrific creature design, I will give this movie a standing ovation. There was one scene, in particular, that really mesmerized me when it came to make up and effects. Ted, one of the photographers, has one of the Breeders coming out of his chest and we see him tear open his chest skin while pockets of pink, slimy flesh start to pop out. That was probably the worse scene in the entire movie. There was a great "Scanners" scene were a head explodes and a Breeder emerges and a horrifically creepy end scene where all the virgin women are bathing in a pool of alien sperm. This movie just freaks me out when it comes to make-up and creature features. The acting in the movie was far from good, though surprisingly not the worse. You have Teresa Farley, who plays Dr. Pace, and Lance Lewman, who plays Det. Andriotti who had some great potential but they were much too somber even when things were coming to a boil. They didn't seem dedicated to their role or even put effort into trying to look panicked or scares. One line of dialogue, uttered by Lewman's character, should have been yelled but instead it was said, "Your f**king bananas." You have painfully over-dramatic roles that came from Frances Raines, Natalie O'Connell, Amy Brentano and LeeAnn Baker, otherwise known as the main virgins in this movie. The movie wants you to feel sorry for them, but they all seemed too stuck up and paranoid for me to feel sorry for them. In other words, they were begging to be taken. What this movie tried to do and I will give them credit for a good concept with good intentions, was to combine "soft" core * with a horror movie. There were plenty of scenes with naked women and a lot of sexual related themes; in fact, it's almost like a reworking or even homage to Cronenberg's Shivers. However, after seeing so much nakedness the nudity became overrated and very redundant, like there was no need for a woman to come home to her kitchen and just strip to take a shower. It's almost like the girls wanted the role so that they can show off what they have, only problem is, they have nothing to show off. They tried to combine suspense with this concept and it just looked weird and awkward for an alien to attack and rape a naked young girl. It just seemed way too uncomfortable for any kind of thing to do that. Overall, there was some bad acting and a failed concept of horror-* and some top notch creature effects, but I enjoy watching this film for those exact reasons. I have my share of guilty pleasures, two being Chopping Mall and Snakes on a Plane, and this is another timeless classic that failed when it came out, but has a cult following. I would recommend this movie to those who enjoy cult classics as well as any horror movie fan, though if you are younger then you may want to avoid it because of the nudity. In my opinion, its probably one of the great cheesy and stupid horror / sci-fi movies of the 80 and I think it will go down as a timeless classic.

This movie goes leaps and bounds beyond even the worst bargain-bin horror fare. I am an avid viewer of cheap horror films for humor purposes, yet "Breeders" was a chore to even watch through to its conclusion. Horrid acting, laughable monsters with an even more laughable premise, and garish production make this one too bad to even touch. The premise of the movie is as insulting as it is implausible. The alien who lives under New York city apparently can only breed with "virgin" human women for an undisclosed purpose (no alien births or even a sign of pregnancy appear in the film). However, this technicality which seems to form the backbone of the movie is utterly silly. A cocaine using ballet student and a thirty-something woman who dresses in leopard print are a couple of the five to seven "virgins" who appear naked and raped by this alien. The nudity of the female actors borders on exploitation, as obligatory shower and * dancing scenes ensue. The final straw is the climax of the movie in which a showdown takes place not with the lecherous alien, but with the bevy of * alien rape victims in a vat of white goo, rubbing up against each other. More disgustingly extraneous than anything, it is a new height of callousness even for shoddy science fiction *. The rest goes without saying. The acting is too wooden for words and the plot is predictable. The alien makes those on Flash Gordon and the original Star Trek look real, as the actor wearing the suit is visibly wearing black boots. If this movie wasn't so sexually explicit, it would have made fantastic fodder for MST3K. Avoid this movie even if you enjoy poorly made, low budget sci-fi/horror flicks.

Typical '80's garbage horror that we all have seen before. I remember many years ago, I saw a movie late one night on Cinemax called Breeders, and then a year later the same movie was on TNT Monster Vision. I watched it again trying to get some sleep. Three years ago, I was at a party and a movie on The Sci-Fi Channel was on, and it was called Breeders, but it was not the Breeders I saw years earlier. This one had much more nudity (Sci-Fi blurred it out) and was very '80's-ish.So watch out, there are two Breeders out there, even though they are both about the same quality of movie. I bought a used copy of this Breeders, and just got done watching it. If you like the cheese horror of two decades ago, then you will not have a hard time sitting through this movie. There is plenty of dumb, flubbed lines, nudity, actresses who do not pull off the characters they are portraying, and whatever it is you look for in a movie like this. It's okay. Story is about virgins in Manhattan being raped by aliens. They go into a trance, walk naked through the city and swim in a bath of alien sperm (huh?). Yeah. Features a alien/human baby that gets beaten and stabbed, blood squirting on walls, women screaming at monster shadows, and some cheesy, yet moist, special effects.I liked this film better then the other movie called Breeders.Two and a half stars.

Subterranean dwelling aliens come out of the sewers long enough to rape "virgins" in order to impregnate them with there extraterrestrial seed. A doctor and detective try to figure what the hell is going on. I knew I was in for some ridiculous b-movie crap when even before the title-card shows up we're treated to, bad acting and * belonging to a body double in what could be the most obvious film flub ever. And boy oh boy, everyone's favorite gay-* director, turned crappy b-horror film director, turned gay film director again, Tim Kincaid does not disappoint. Now when I use the term 'crap' for this film, I do so giving it the best most loving connotation. I live for this trash, but if your tolerance for sleaze and utterly atrocious acting isn't high, steer clear of this one as it most definitely is NOT for you. Eye Candy: Frances Raine shows everything with naked yoga, LeeAnne Baker also shows all; Meanwhile Natalie O'Connell shows T&A and Adrianne Lee & Amy Brentino only show breasts (plus the aforementioned body double, and some topless extras)

They're bad movies and then there's exceptionally atrocious, brain-numbing, please God make it stop jaw-stopping spectacles of sheer mind-rotting awfulness that are so utterly abominable that they defy belief and soar off into a stratosphere of extraordinary stinkiness that's a ghastly wonder to behold. "Breeders" qualifies as one of those special kind of schlocky treats. The gloriously sordid premise centers on an ugly, scaly, oversexed humanoid reptile lizard alien (actually, it's some poor schmoe in a laughably obvious and unconvincing rubber suit) who kidnaps and rapes a lovely assortment of Big Apple virgins so it can reproduce its species for an impending invasion. Colorless cop Lance Lewman and dull doctor Teresa Farley try to stop the evil extraterrestrial menace, but since they're both incredibly insipid and can't act their way out of a soggy cardboard box one quite frankly doesn't give a s**t if they succeed or not. Boy, does this beautifully botched baby contain all the right wrong stuff to rate highly as one four-star clinker: flat, uninspired (mis)direction by the chronically inept Tim Kincaid (who also makes gay porno under the name of Joe Gage), a grating synthesizer score, pathetic make-up f/x by Ed French (in one particularly pitiful scene the viewer can clearly see that the actor playing the hormonal alien is wearing sneakers!), plodding pacing, relentlessly cheap'n'chintzy production values, dire dialogue, and staggeringly putrid acting from the entire cast. Fortunately, there's a tasty plenitude of gratuitous distaff nudity from a smoking hot bunch of luscious young women; almost every luckless lass who gets attacked is either disrobing or in the shower when they get jumped. Special credit must be given here to the beauteous brunette hottie supreme Frances Raines, who performs a lengthy Jane Fonda-style aerobic workout clad only in her birthday suit that's leeringly lingered on by the filmmakers. A truly choice chunk of deliciously dreadful celluloid cheese.

Terrible, lowest-of-the-low budget 80's t&a teen horror flic from the creative "genius" of Tim Kincaid, the director who brought the world such appalling rubbish as "The Occultist", "Bad Girl's Dormitory", and the legendary awful "Robot Holocaust". What we have here is the bare minimum of any plot, direction, suspense, action, or production: basically it's an excuse to show off naked women. What story there is revolves around alien monsters who disguise themselves as humans in order to steal nubile young females to impregnate in order to create moore alien monsters, etc, etc. In that respect, "Breeders" fits neatly into the Very Guilty Pleasures department, along with such trash classics as "Humanoids from the Deep", "Invasion of the Bee Girls", and "Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!". But if you're looking for horror, or even a reasonable facsimile thereof, don't look here. You rarely see the "alien monsters", and when you do they are astoundingly cheesy and fake-looking. Had 1 oz of brain been used to make this film, it would have at least been more respectable; now, teens just rent it to ogle the babes and laugh at the miserable fx. Don't confuse this frisky gobbler with the corny, pointless, even-worse 1998 film of the same name, starring the talentless, nubile Samantha Janus. At least Kincaid's Breeders has a minutae of entertainment value, however small. The penultimate scene showing the naked bimbos writhing in a vat of alien "goo" is a low point in film history, and a high point in trash cinema! MooCow says rent it for Trashy T&A Cinema night, but keep your hooves on the fast forward button! ;=8)

This almost makes it into that truly rare category of a movie that's so bad it's actually entertaining--but not quite. Aliens are looking for virgins to impregnate. Why do they need virgins?--who knows. But New York City in the 1980's is definitely the wrong place to look for them. Of course, if there was anything virginal about the actresses they cast in this movie they probably wouldn't have been cast in this movie, but even the pristine credentials of the characters they play seem pretty suspect. One girl is a coke-snorting model (a group well known for their chastity). Another does her aerobics in the * (obviously her extreme shyness would explain her intact maidenhood). You get the idea--this is the unlikeliest group of "virgins" to ever appear outside a porno film. But besides the "virgins" you have the "detective" who doesn't look like he's old enough to shave and the "aliens" who usually disguise themselves as random human males, probably because their rubbery suits are totally unconvincing. The dialogue is absolutely atrocious, especially the hilarious way everybody makes a long, dramatic pause before uttering the word. . . "virgin". Many professional reviewers have pointed out how tasteless the climactic scene is where all these naked women writhe around in some kind of viscous alien fluid. Well, if you have any taste to begin with you wouldn't watch this movie long enough to get to that scene. If this movie was just a little more sleazy it would be a porno flick and this scene would be a great big . . . well, you get the idea. This movie isn't as good as the similar "Humanoids from the Deep", but at least the director didn't try to claim that Roger Corman or somebody went back and added all the gratuitous sex and nudity. (This would have been a 5-minute short without it). I'd only recommend this movie to sick perverts who enjoy completely tasteless, morally indefensible trash (not that that's necessarily a BAD thing. . .)

Breeders

Definitely the worst film I have seen in YEARS! Maybe the worst I have ever seen. Absolutely no plot, story or a thread of acting ability in this film. CHEAP on all levels of production. These people have had very little work since the film between them all, and thank god for that. It was probably hard finding this many people-whom lacked any talent at all-to put in a single film. My only question is, "How did this film get a 2.7 rating out of 10. I wish the rating scale had negatives. Maybe it got some votes for the constant naked breast shown in every other shot. Even that was done so badly it got boring. Do not waste your time or money, learn where I have failed.