Breast Men

I had no high hopes for the film and my only reason for watching it was to see how Schwimmer made in his role. Still, if you get past the thought that the movie is made only to show naked breasts to teenage boys, and realise that the movie is a serious critique about the idea of breast implants, it all starts to work OK. Still, it is a mediocre film about a serious topic with some surprisingly good acting from D. Schwimmer. Especially the aging masks were done with good skill. Rating: 4 out of 10.

With a title like "Breast Men", one would expect at least some entertainment value, a little bit of cheesy humor, something that would live up to the promise of the title. Well, friends, this movie fails to deliver on almost every level. How, you may wonder, can this be? This movie makes medical history, breasts, and the 60s, 70s, and 80s boring--no small feat. First off--yes, there are breasts. Lots of them. Large, small, droopy, and perky. Some of the talking head bits (well really talking breasts, since we see no heads), somewhat like those in the vastly superior "Kinsey", are mildly amusing. The two brightest elements in the film are Lisa Marie--as the model for the breast implant--and Emily Proctor, injecting a good deal of charm into what is a generally charmless firm. The film follows the careers of Drs. Saunders (David Schwimmer) and Larson (Chris Cooper), the inventors of the breast implant. (Supposedly, the film is based on the actual inventors. Let us hope that their lives were somewhat more interesting.) We start with the stereotypes of the gruff older doctor (Cooper) and the young inventive hotshot (Schwimmer) and sink rapidly from there. Chris Cooper is a far better actor than one would guess from performance--all he is here is a bundle of crabbiness. David Schwimmer is far worse--does this man have any talent besides a hangdog look? Here, he goes from young and hangdog to sleazy and hangdog to sleazier and hangdog--it is a merciful relief (spoiler) when his Corvette gets mashed at the end of the film. He maintains one basic expression--constipated. (It would be interesting to match him with Kristin Scott Thomas, who also looks perpetually blocked...wait, that is just too dreadful to contemplate.) Oh yes, the music isn't bad, and the costumer designer and art director had some fun with some truly hideous 70s styles. But the visual delights are not enough. If you could roast this turkey, it would be completely lacking in taste and texture. (I give it a two only for the music and the art direction.) As Charlie Brown would say--bleahhh.

David Schwimmer puts aside his likability for this movie about breast implant pioneers. He does a great job as a money-hungry, publicity seeking plastic surgeon with no ethics, no morals, and ultimately, no soul. Chris Cooper, as the member of the partnership team with some little conscience, is equally despicable and equally funny. The 70s references are painfully accurate and anyone who lived then will wince in recognition. A good, if not great, dark comedy, worth seeing just to see David Schwimmer playing a self-centered jerk. By the time his final scene rolls around, you'll cheer for his exit. Overall, not bad ; some sharp commentary, and funny more often than not.

It was so awful. Not a single funny part or a clever part about a subject that, clearly, would be pretty easy to ridicule. And all those breast shots were added just to have some interesting moments in a piece of crap flick.

This is mainly a titillation movie for guys who can't get enough ogling of women's breasts. If anyone tells you anything else, they aren't telling you truth. The title, and what's on the video box, drove a lot of men to rent or buy this VHS tape when it came out.,,,not because they were interest in medical procedures! I say "mainly" because there actually is a story to this, but it winds up being more of a soap opera with two men feuding - more like cat-fighting, than anything else. The first half hour, before all the fighting and feuding, was interesting but that's about it. So many women have had successful breast implants that emotional warnings of the dire results of such surgery - which is seen here - seem pretty outdated by now. However, vanity, greed and everything else that goes along with some of these surgeries - the patients and the doctors - are not exaggerated, and some of the stories are pretty sad where so many people (as shown here) have such a poor self-image or motivated for the wrong reasons.

This is a fairly good movie (especially for a TV film). Ok it was dramatized a lot and you noticed it, but it was pretty enjoyable (better than Hollywood crap like The Avengers or Godzilla). 7 out of 10.

I watched this film with the view of learning more about the story than the quality of the film itself, but was pleasantly surprised. The black humour is subtle, but enjoyable. David Schwimmer starts out in his usual "little lost boy"-type routine but develops nicely into the role. Plus, it's always nice to see the gorgeous Lisa Marie on screen.

The story of the two doctors who pioneer the breast implant. This movie starts out like it has potential. Schwimmer is the resident trying to be the "inventive" youngster and Cooper is the experienced level headed doctor that gets into this because he needs to "invent" something and not be called a "beautician". Up until they open the clinic and it gets going does it fall into the same formula ala "Boogie nights" or "54". Up down (probably up again). I got bored and found something else to watch. It could have been a good comedy (obvious gags) and drama (doctors actually helping women in need e.g. Women who had mastectomy's). But no it goes down the "good life corrupts", "no honor amongst thieves", greed, etc. blah blah blah. Something to watch if there is absolutely nothing else on (including Gilligan Island). 3/10 Don't bother.

HBO has a great knack at taking bits of history which we never think much about, and turning them into incredibly entertaining movies. Example: This breezy, very clever satire about the rise and fall of the two inventors of the silicone breast implant. The film deftly raises the central question about breast implants without forcing an answer upon it: Are they exploitive or theraputic? Sure, they seem like perverse objects invented by horny men, but if women really feel self-conscious about their breasts, why shouldn't they be allowed to improve them. This question is carried out through the movie, as we see a semi-inspired idea turn into an exploitation industry. David Schwimmer and Chris Cooper star as the two doctors who come up with the idea of the implant, and both play there parts very well. Say what you want about Schwimmer, (I never liked him in other roles), he fairs pretty well here, as he almost constantly shifts from burnt-out loser to a man with new-found riches. But even if you don't like Schwimmer, Chris Cooper more than makes up for it. This has to be the most engaging performance so far in his career. He plays a past-his-prime doctor who is lucky enough to come across Schwimmer's breast ideas and finance the surgeries. He is a nice, agreagble man while you're on his side, but he bursts into fits of rage whenever his authority is questioned. The center of his performance is that, despite what he does, he wants to feel like a normal, respectable doctor. He steals every scene which he is in. The film perfectly transports us back into the 1970's, emphasizing the point that back then, subtly didn't matter. (SLIGHT SPOILER WARNING). We follow the duo's path as split, grow from a practice into an industry, and finally are hammered by lawsuits. The film wisely makes no statements about whether or not the impants are harmful (as is should, since the facts are not yet in), but instead uses the event to highlight its characters personalities. The David Schwimmer character finds a way to skirt around the catastrophy while Chris Cooper raises hell about it. The film is also annotated by interviews with real women with breast implants, their identities concealed because (surprise!) the camera isn't centered on their heads. Their interviews help explain the emotional baggage which comes along with the implants. In it's style, and the way it views sex as an industry rather than eroticism, Breast Men can be compared to Boogie Nights. I'll admit that Boogie Nights is a better film, but Breast Men is somehow easier to watch, mainly because it doesn't take itself so seriously. It finds the perfect note, dealing with its subject seriously enough to get the point across, and detached enough to still be hilarious.

The fact that women respond more positively to this film than men is sad for two reasons: 1)"Breast Men" exploits the hell out of breasts, 2)It places the blame for breast implants, including their problems, entirely on women--who want to look sexy for men--not on social pressures. "Breast Men" could have made its point--that women want men to notice their breasts and often resolve to implants--just as effectively with only a tenth of the amount of breasts shown. The filmmaker's used this theme as their opportunity to showcase female nudity. Kubrick did it in "Eyes Wide Shut." I'm a male hetero and even I think the film went too far. I mean, did we really need the stripping and the coke-off-the-tit scenes? As for who to place the blame on for the breast implant controversy, the film clearly argues that it is the women. Schwimmer doesn't have to do any scheming to come up with the implant idea--he just notices his neighbor's concern over her own breast size. And after the ad for breast implants is put out, women flock to the doctor's office. Furthermore, it is a woman who pushes Schwimmer into giving her grotesquely large breast implants, not some horny guy. In addition, all of the talking breasts and the woman on the Phil Donahue Show make it clear that they want or had breast implants for their own personal satisfaction, not someone else's. Even ordinary women, like the one in the studio audience, are obsessed with having large breasts. Breast implants are portrayed as a negative thing only in that they can be hazardous to a woman's health. Neither the morality nor the objectifying consequence they have on women are addressed for more than 5 seconds. I'd like to sell the Bay Bridge to any woman who thinks "Breast Men" takes a serious, critical look at the world of breast implants. If women do think so, however, and agree with the film's blaming of women as the ones responsible for society's fascination with big breasts, then that reveals a sad truth about women that I would rather believe isn't true. Women in this film value themselves entirely on their breast size, and if that's true in reality--as the female response to this film seems to indicate--women can't blame us men for seeing them as nothing more than a pair of breasts.