Bolero

source: Bolero

Bolero

You could say I am a connoisseur of bad movies, always searching for the ones so terribly made, ones that make me laugh throughout and this is one of them. Without a doubt I can say that this movie ranks in my top 10 bad movies among such greats as Samurai Cop, Miami Connection and Troll 2. The plot of this movie mainly centres around Bo Derek trying to lose her virginity, first in Morocco and then Spain where she pursues a matador who has an affinity for 14 year old gypsies. I don't want to spoil anymore to those that want to seek this movie out but what I just described is only some of the utter ridiculousness that this film offers. I am surprised this one isn't mentioned amongst the great terrible movies on any lists that I have seen, anybody who loves awful movies should do themselves a favour and watch this immediately.

Bo Derek and her friend, 'Catalina' (Ana Obregon) have just graduated and now they want to lose their virginity - preferably to a sheik - but they'll settle for a bullfighter and a Scotsman, respectively. The two pretty girls go to Spain to satisfy their goal accompanied by Bo's chauffeur 'Cotton' (George Kennedy). Bo tries to corral her bullfighter (Andrea Occhipinti) while fending off a jealous woman and a wild bull as Catalina is romanced by her handsome Scotsman (Ian Cochrane). Bo produced this passionately sexy film and her husband John Derek's direction is erotically beautiful.

I really don't think you will like this unless you are a fan of Bo Derek, or someone else in the movie. Yes, I rented it because of Andrea Occhipinti. I was really let down though. That is one of the stupidest movie I've seen! I mean, other than the fact that Bo Derek is a total airhead that can't even act, and ain't very pretty either, the plot is so weak! I mean, she is supposed to play a 18 year old I guess, but she looks about 30! But anyway...she goes on a hunt to find someone to lose her virginity too. (Yea, yea, I'm SURE she would be a virgin with the we she acted in the beginning!) And she finds Angel (Occhipinti), and they hook up...And she's obsessed with finding extacy w/him. There are a couple of really *detailed* sex scenes! I was really suprised with that! If watching flaky Bo Derek in a bad soft-core porno is your thing, then hey, go for it! But this is just my opinion! ~*~3/10~*~

Lida MacGillivery (Bo Derek) is a free-spirited girl graduating from a British boarding school. She travels around the world to have adventures with her chauffeur Cotton (George Kennedy) and friend Catalina. She tries to lose her virginity to a young Sheik but he falls asleep. In Spain, she falls for bullfighter Angel despite a jealous gypsy. She befriends Paloma (Olivia d'Abo). Angel is injured by a bull and can't perform sexually. If the goal is to see Bo Derek naked, this achieves that goal. However, almost everything in this is laughable. The story is overwrought stupidity that is only worthy of the worst pulp romance novels. The acting is even worst. Bo Derek is unbelievable as a young virginal girl. This may work as softcore * but I think John Derek is actually serious.

Yes "Bolero" is that bad. Sure seeing Bo Derek * is a pleasure. But you could save time and money and look at a vintage issue of Playboy. And the plot? What plot? Bo has a lover who is impotent. She tries to....ahem....cure him. And the last scene is a howler. Yes I am going to ruin it. He is finally able to perform sexually with Bo and as they do we actually see NEON signs that say : ECSTASY. Yes it is true. I am not making this up. Who would have ever thought that Derek's version of Tarzan could ever look like a classic in comparison to any other film?

Ok, I admit it. BO has a beautiful body. And I will admit this too. Bolero is so bad that it easily ranks as one of the worst movies ever made. The most shocking part is Academy Award winner George Kennedy is in it(I guess he likes Derek in the * as well). Written and directed by her late husband John Derek. >

Lida (the sexy Bo Derek) is fresh out of the all-girls English boarding school. Lida's last act of rebellion was to streak across the school courtyard butt-naked. I think this is gonna be good. Finally earning her inheritance upon graduation, Lida decides than she needs to do a little globe-trotting to find the right man to make her a woman. With her chauffeur and best friend in tow she sets out to lose her virginity and the ways of love. She's out and about and looking for love. MEEE-OWWWW! The lovely Derek parades her assets for all to see (her husband, John Derek was the director) and very little will be left to you imagination. This erotic drama is wonderfully filmed, whether the English countryside, Spain or Bo's cleavage it all looks good. For what it was the performances were as good as one could expect out of the material which includes the lovely Olivia d' Abo in her first role. If you like "The Blue Lagoon (1980)" or "Paradise (1982)" you probably like "Bolero".

Bo Derek plays a college graduate who is also a virgin - and she's unconvincing on both counts. Yes, her belly-dancing scene is a highlight, but did she have to wear so much make-up all the time? The rest of the film is a plotless, worthless affair, but at least it doesn't take itself all that seriously; and it's this intentionally campy approach that keeps it at least semi-bearable. (**)