Body Bags

What we have here is a made for TV omnibus horror film. If that doesn't fill you full of confidence, the fact that the trio of tales are directed by highly successful horror directors John Carpenter and Tobe Hooper might, although I cant say it did for me as I don't rate either of these two as highly as many. The title of the film is 'Body Bags', and this is reflected in the wraparound story, which features egomaniac John Carpenter as a coroner inspecting dead bodies. His bit part in the film smacks of "look at me, I'm John Carpenter"; and I dare say he added this in just so people would get to know his face. Anyway, the film takes off with the everyday (in this sort of film) story of a serial killer. We follow the tribulations of working at a gas station, as a young girl has to deal with someone trying to murder her as well as a bunch of difficult customers. This tale isn't bad, but it's not very good either. Carpenter builds the suspense, but it's all very empty and the fact that it's the first tale doesn't disguise the fact that it feels like an afterthought. Carpenter also directs tale number two, which is the best segment of the film. This part takes horror from human vanity, and we follow Stacy Keach as he worries about going bald and ends up at a hair replacement clinic, where he gets more than he bargained for when he applies for their treatment. Stories about someone's body rebelling against them are always more frightening than men with knives, and although tongue in cheek, Carpenter keeps the horror coming as we are drawn into the subject's plight. The ending is good, and shows a little bit of ingenuity in a film that seriously lacks it. The third and final tale is helmed by Tobe Hooper (maybe Carpenter couldn't be bothered), and for me is the weakest of the bunch. We follow a baseball player who becomes the unfortunate victim of a car accident. After losing his right eye, he is given the chance for a new one; but it means having the eye of a dead man transplanted into his eye socket...I'm sure you can guess what's coming, although it is worth noting that this film predates Jap horror, The Eye, by almost a decade. Hooper's section is just too dull to be an effective horror tale, and the way that he injects religion into the tale just doesn't work. Mark Hamill (of Luke Skywalker fame) takes the lead role, and watch out for Roger Corman as his doctor. The film features quite a few famous names, actually, including Wes Craven, Sam Raimi, Twiggy, Debbie Harry and Robert Carradine in bit parts. I can't really recommend it though...Body Parts is just too forgettable.

This was a pilot episode for a possible series on Showtime. Showtime wanted to spend less money on it, so the idea was aborted and John Carpenter continued to make feature films. All three episodes are packed with guest appearances and cameos by many great actors and horror directors. Performances in all of them are excellent and each episode has a different tone and style. The first is somewhat of a slasher. The second is a bizarre comedy with sci fi elements. Both of those were directed by John Carpenter. The third is the darkest and is directed by Tobe Hooper. Body Bags has a lot of actors that are very talented, but very underrated that normally don't get to do this type of stuff like Robert Carradine and Mark Hamill. Stacy Keach is always excellent as well and does great here. As far as I am concerned the Tales From The Crypt series on HBO is the best anthology horror there is. Body Bags would have made a good series and could have been able to compete with it if it could maintain this sort of quality. John Carpenter is the host of this show and has the right delivery and the right hair to keep up with The Cryptkeeper.

John Carpenter is a true master, defiantly the best actor but I did like his cryptkeepesk coroner. Gas station segment is well made, slasher / scream queen. psychological horror. with cameos from Sam Raimi, Wes Craven, David Naughton and more. It's a horror convention in a box. Hair is more on the dark comedy side of things. With a brief barely noticeable cameo of Greg Nicotero, this one is fun. Debbie Harry drops by with David Warner , Stacy Keach takes it out of the park. A Psychological confusion masterpice, it's Tobe Hooper from the Chainsaw/Funhouse days. Macabre, it's the perfect finally for this anthology. Never understood why showtime pulled the plug on this planned series. This would have been a series with great potential. Roger Corman, Robert Carradine, George Buck Flower, Mark Hamill , Twiggy , Charles Napier, the cameo's in this are just insane....

Sometimes, the more absurd something is, the better it can looked upon when its aged. Perhaps that will be the fate of Body Bags. With the exception of John Carpenter's little interludes between the acts, this film just reeks. Its not even funny, which has always been kind of a trademark with Carpenter's overly elongated career. This should have been an clear indication that Carpenter's career was going down the drain. But does anyone listen? NOO!

Although the stories are a little on the campy side, you have to love it for its diversity with the one-time star casting. Narrator is John Carpenter as sort of mix of a knock-off of the "Tales from the Crypt" sort of character and Barney Fife off of "Mayberry". Not a good or convincing performance, not a good performance, but an interesting character for sake of him being one of the all-time great fiction writers of the 20th century. Second segment has the balding Stacy Keach yearning for hair and his girlfriend, a major mis-match, '80's Pop Diva, Sheena Easton. You really can't picture her really wanting to wait while he "Takes the Morning Train" or invite him into her "Sugar Walls". The third segment has '60's supermodel, Twiggy, looking less Twig like, but more healthy that her model hey dey as the loving wife, and Mark Hamill, the beloved Luke Skywalker in the first three (or the last three installments, depending on how you look at the series) as the devoted husband who loses his eye in a car accident and has it replaced with the eye of someone less scrupulous, and ends up carrying on their traits. Bonus for Star Wars fans (the females, anyway) is you briefly get to see Mark Hamill's bare bum! Was worth th .50 cents I paid to rent it for that alone!

John Carpenter presents Body Bags was originally made for television. It's the typical horror anthology movie with three stories, all bridged by Carpenter himself in a morgue setting no less. Carpenter wisely takes the humorous route. The first story is about a gas station attendant's first night on the job, which would be anyone's last night for sure. The story is more dumb and predictable, with the protagonist doing things we would all scream at her not to do in a theater, than scary. The flip ending is reminiscent of an episode of Rod Serling's "Night Gallery." The second story is about a vain man with thinning hair; Stacy Keach was absolutely hilarious. This is obviously the best segment. It's inventiveness, humor, and tongue-in-cheek attitude is sorely missing from the other two stories. The final story is better than the first one, but we've seen this before in "Twilight Zone" episodes more than once. The bridging story turns out to be quite humorous, with Carpenter being joined by two special guests at the end. Perhaps the best thing about Body Bags is the unusual cast members that were assembled. From regular film and television actors like Stacy Keach, David Warner, and Robert Carradine to the off-beat selections of Sheena Easton, Deborah Harry, and Twiggy, Body Bags has it all. Look closely for several genre directors: Wes Craven, Sam Raimi, Roger Corman, and Tobe Hooper. It was also great fun to see old veteran John Agar as the eye surgeon near the end of his career. This was at least as enjoyable as most of Carpenter's other films, which have been uneven over the years. **1/2 of 4 stars.

Director John Carpenter narrates three stories as a walking corpse that must have been a real bad stand-up comic in life. The humour is generally very sophomoric(one scene depicts a rather bosomy lady corpse having troubles being slid in and out of the dead body drawer), but Carpenter actually handles the material very well. Carpenter also directs two of the stories, and Tobe Hooper(The Texas Chainsaw Massacre) directs the third(as well as has a small role as a mortician). The stories each are very different in style, mood, and tone, and each has something to offer in terms of entertainment. The first is probably the most derivative in terms of plot, but also for me was the most frightening. Sexy(very sexy) Alex Datcher plays a woman taking a new job at a 24hr open gas station in a town where many women/people have been killed in serial fashion. Carpenter holds no punches as he tries to make us jump from our seats. Although this story is predictable, it has a lot of suspense. The second story was a funny tale about a balding man that goes to a weird place for hair implants only to discover that he is being used in some horrifying way. Pure laughs with this one as Stacy Keach plays the hair-obsessed man with comic aplomb. David Warner also does a great job playing the Hair Doctor. Sexy Sheena Easton and Debbie Harry also help(they are quite good at teasing hair I'm sure!. The third story is the best-written and directed one as it tells the story of Mark Hamil, a baseball player that loses his eye in an auto accident and has it replaced with the eye of a serial killer. Naturally the eye takes over the rest of the body(shades of The Hands of Orlac here). A very eerie, taught piece of storytelling. All three stories are populated with the greats of the horror genre like John Agar, Roger Corman, Wes Craven, Sam Raimi, and a host of other recognizable faces. Great to see Twiggy again! Body Bags is just plain fun fare. There is no statement trying to be made, no overall theme, just some honest laughs mixed with some honest scares amidst the backdrop of a little sex and lots of guts.

If your IQ is above room temperature run from this bomb as fast as you can. A blank TV screen is better than watching this. Try reading a book--any book. The name John Carpenter caught my attention, although the words 'Made For TV' gave me serious pause. Nonetheless, I gave it a try, remembering my pleasure at 'Escape from New York' and 'The Thing.' 'Starman' was good, and even the original 'Halloween' was not bad. Here we have a sometimes great director at the helm of amateurish scripts apparently written by a first year screenwriter's class filling an assignment to badly copy Stephen King. 'Body Bags' is painfully dreadful. Avoid it at all costs.

TV horror anthology is no classic of the genre but still offers some good laughs and chills; its pedigree is most impressive. It was intended to kick start a series, but Showtime decided not to proceed with it. As a result, we get this effort which shows some variance in style - from straight suspense ('The Gas Station') to creepy dark comedy ('Hair') to out and out gore ('Eye'). Most notable throughout are the steady parade of cameo appearances, which I've decided I won't spoil here and leave the viewer to discover for themselves. They help in making this a solid bit of entertainment. John Carpenter directs 'The Gas Station' and 'Hair' and appears in the wrap around segments as a goofy "coroner" who cracks bad jokes and spins stories about the dead bodies in his morgue - the kind of dead bodies he likes to see turn up, as that old standby "natural causes" just bores him. It really is a treat to see Carpenter sink his teeth into an extended acting role; usually he restricted himself to a small role ("The Fog") or a Hitchcock-type bit part. 'The Gas Station' tells of Anne (Alex Datcher of "Passenger 57"), a new employee at the isolated title location. Her first night is one of terror as strange people make appearances while a serial killer happens to be on the loose (in the town of Haddonfield, no less). This is vintage Carpenter, with good jolts, tense moments, and a bloody conclusion. Robert Carradine co-stars as Bill. 'Hair' strikes a familiar chord for any man who's obsessed over the loss of his locks. Stacy Keach stars as Richard, desperate to get back his hair and his self-esteem. So he goes to the new clinic run by Dr. Lock (David Warner, who's delightful), whose revolutionary treatment gives Richard a long, flowing mane, but at a price. The revelation here is wonderfully squirm-inducing. The segment is a little dull and dragged out in spots but the payoff is worth it. 'Eye' stars Mark Hamill (in what is actually a pretty good performance) as a minor league ball player who loses his right eye in a car accident and receives a transplant from ambitious surgeon Dr. Lang (John Agar, whose presence in anything is always welcome). Basically, this is yet another variation on the old "Hands of Orlac" plot, and viewers will likely guess the ending right away. Still, some of the imagery is effective. This segment is actually directed by Carpenters' peer Tobe Hooper (who also puts in an appearance in the morgue). KNB do typically impressive work in terms of makeup effects, the score by Carpenter and Jim Lang is good (the jazz in 'Hair' is a nice touch), the acting is fun to watch in general, and overall 'Body Bags' is worth a viewing for genre fans and Carpenter completists. Seven out of 10.

In a morgue, a weird coroner (John Carpenter) presents the cases related to three corpses in body bags, with the participation of Tobe Hooper and Tom Arnold in the last scenes: 1) The Gas Station: On the graveyard shift of the new hire Annie (Alex Datcher), the maniac Bill (Robert Carradine) attacks the gas station where she is working. This tale, directed by John Carpenter, is the most frightening of the three segments, very supported by the atmosphere created by the tense music of John Carpenter. Wes Craven and Sam Raimi have minor participations, being another attraction. 2) Hair: When Richard (Stacy Keach) starts loosing his hair, he becomes obsessed trying to find a cosmetic to stop the balding process. He goes to the clinic of Dr. Lock (David Warner) for a revolutionary transplantation treatment, ignoring the tragic side effects. This is the funniest and silliest tale, also directed by John Carpenter, and with the singer Sheena Easton in the role of Richard's girlfriend Megan. 3) Eye: The baseball player Brent (Mark "Luke Skywalker" Hamill) has a car accident while driving home in a stormy night. His doctor proposes a new eye transplantation technique, and Brent and his wife Cathy (Twiggy) accept the risky terms. However, the unexpected side effect jeopardizes the safety of Cathy. This segment, directed by Tobe Hooper, is the most macabre of the three, having the participation of Roger Corman in the role of Dr. Bregman. I recently watched a very scare movie ("Jain Gui", of the Pang Brothers - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0325655/usercomments-167), and I believe that its storyline was probably based on this segment. My vote is seven. Title (Brazil): "Trilogia do Terror" ("Trilogy of Terror") Note: On 12 July 2020, I saw this film again.