Bloodtide

source: Bloodtide

I'm a big fan of the soggy rip-offs that followed in the wake of Spielberg's JAWS, but I'm the first to acknowledge that most of them weren't very good. One of the worst is BLOOD TIDE, a film that features a good cast, is shot in Greece to give it that exotic, continental look, and has a great-looking humanoid monster lurking in the depths to drag pretty, sometimes naked, girls to their deaths. So why is it so bad? Because the monster shows up for little more than a couple of seconds, the murky underwater camera-work is diabolical, the whole movie is underlit and the script sucks, big time. It comes as little surprise that Nico Mastorakis – director of the sleazy video nasty ISLAND OF DEATH – had a hand in the script! Good ol' James Earl Jones (CONAN THE BARBARIAN) is the star of the show and also the best thing in the movie, even though his performance is pretty bad. Watch out for the fun diving sequences which have him heavy breathing, just like another one of his creations. That's gotta be an in-joke. What else does the movie offer? A sub-plot involving some mad nuns which is undoubtedly the most boring part of the film, really serving to drag things down. Plenty of blonde bimbo actresses who starred in DALLAS and whatnot, giving cheesy performances. Martin Kove redefining the meaning of 'wooden' – how did this guy carve out a career in Hollywood after this? Films like this tended to throw in an 'old era' actor for the more senior viewers, so Jose Ferrer's on hand here, but he has nothing to work with. The monster attack scenes are boring, with no suspenseful music, nothing to recommend them – just a tin of red paint poured into the water, that's all you see. I wish I could have seen more of the monster, because it DID look cool, but the last scenes of the film take place in almost utter darkness, so you'll end up squinting in an effort to see what's going on. I did like the Greek locales, but there's no taste of Greece here – they're wasted. BLOOD TIDE is no HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP, that's for sure; the low budget scuppers this one from the start. Endless, irrelevant conversation and people wandering around are the order of the day here, and it doesn't make for a good film – just a crappy one.

Newlyweds find the shirtless husband's sister on the Greek island which she went to two years ago. Also on the island are some inhospitable natives; a Shakespeare-quoting, sunken-treasure hunter and his voluptuous female companion; and a murderous, amphibious creature, which we don't see very much of. There you have the basics...and, there isn't a great deal more to spice things up. Oh...your enjoyment MIGHT be a LITTLE greater if you have a wet-shirt *. But other effects are virtually non-existent. With nothing, really, to bring it down, however, I sum it up as a passable yarn (or yawn, if you're a thrill-seeker).

I really enjoyed this movie! I know there are some tough critics out there, but I have to disagree. I bet most of us saw this film for little or no cost. I purchased it bundled in a four movie set called "Tales from the Boneyard". Given the moderate cost of the set, I thought I got a lot of entertainment for my money. My only complaint would have to be the creature effects. If you can get past that, the movie has a whole lot of surprising twists and turns. Leave the judgments for the Academy Awards. Try to have some fun with this! I did!

It wouldn't be unfair to say that Greece hasn't got the best pedigree when it comes to movies. There doesn't really appear to have been a film industry in action there at any point in time. Probably the best effort I have seen from that country is the notorious Island of Death. Its director Nico Mastorakis was also responsible for the screenplay of, this film, Blood Tide. There's no way that the latter film is as good as the former but I have to say I didn't really find it all that bad either. It's about a shady archaeologist who inadvertently unleashes a legendary evil creature from its century's long sleep. It's true that it is fairly uneventful from a horror point-of-view but overall I thought that the events surrounding the sea monster had just enough intrigue to keep this one afloat. The monster itself is hardly seen. Mostly we encounter it via point-of-view camera-work. When it is seen briefly, it doesn't in all honesty look that bad but I guess the film-makers thought otherwise. There are a couple of gory attacks in the water and a massacre of nuns at a monastery, while the chopped up remains of a victim are found on the beach. But mainly, this is a slow burner with little visceral material. I thought the plot strands about the ancient drawings that are found in the monastery that depict the monster was quite good as well and added a decent level of interest. It never escapes the fact that it's obviously hampered by a low budget though but the exotic Greek location does add some worthwhile production value. And it also has James Earl Jones at its disposal too; seemingly he did the film in order to get a paid-for holiday. But much better is Deborah Shelton as the enigmatic woman who ultimately offers herself as a virginal sacrifice to the beast; she was very beautiful and added a welcome sensual aspect that didn't do the film any harm at all.

Talk about your pretty people. There's this look alike for one of the Dukes of Hazzard, with his permed hair and his popping chest. He's with the winner of the Farrah Fawcett look-alike contest. I think the eighties were one of the dullest periods in history, and this movie fits right in. First of all there is this dingy sister, Madeline, who is up to something. She is an artist, but at times she doesn't talk. At others she is quite lucid. She is getting more information than she should. I wish we would. There are hostile people on this Greek island who are into sacrificing young women to some rubber suited monster who looks pretty silly. You've got actors like Jose Ferrer and James Earl Jones. What drug were they on to agree to this mess? People bumble around and occasionally one gets eaten. The islanders get weirder and weirder. Since we aren't privy to most of what happened prior to this, we don't have the information to make anything suspenseful. I get the impression that if they bring the sister back alive, she's nutty enough to go right back and get into more trouble. She doesn't really communicate. James Earl Jones is, on the one hand, totally under control, and, at other times, drunk and out of control. I have to admit, I nodded off a couple of times, but this movie deserved that.

Please tell me James Earl Jones did not star in this film. He plays a drunken archaeologist who is given to recite Shakespeare (?!) - why? - I couldn't say. Could Jones? Then there's some banter between American tourists. Since the film is set in Greece, Jose Ferrer shows up to prove he can't speak Greek. The natives, terrified by the sudden death of some of their women folk, do what all Greek natives do in movies - drink, sing, eat, and dance! "Jones' Big Fat Greek Murder By Monster" movie. Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention the monster; but, that's easy to do, since it rarely shows up and doesn't do anything spectacular. "1982" ?! My god, did they still think they could get away with this script for an early '70s drive-in reject? And didn't Jones know we could never forgive him for this?!

Blood Tide is the brain child of Greek horror 'auteur' Nico Mastorakis. Nico probably has more films in IMDb's bottom 100 than any other director but this is more a reflection on the poor taste of most IMDb voters. Nico's films are generally pretty atrocious (with the exception of the great "Island Of Death") but at least his films won't induce insomnia like some of the movies populating the top 250. This film, directed by Richard Jefferies, is a good example of the Nico formula: blood, nudity and virgin sacrifice. The plot of Blood Tide is pretty damn stupid. A treasure hunter, played by James Earl Jones, has awoken an evil demon that lies dormant under a Greek island. Unfortunately, this event coincides with Neil and Sherry's arrival on the island to search for Neil's missing sister, Madeline. Before too long, young women start disappearing and the villagers resort to sacrificial offerings in order to calm down the island demon. In other words, this is all a thinly veiled excuse for gratuitous nudity and cheap horror action - which is fine by me. The strange thing about Blood Tide is that the film has quite a respectable cast for what is obviously a B-movie. James Earl Jones is always reliable and he doesn't disappoint with his turn as Frye. I'm convinced he only to took the role due to the character habit of incessantly reciting Othello, because the idea of playing a watermelon chomping stereotype could not have been all that appealing. Jose Ferrer is another great character actor and he makes his role count for more than it is worth. The same can be said for Lila Kedrova, who has to be the only Oscar winner to appear in a Mastorakis production. Genre fans will also be pleased to see Martin Kove, atypically playing a good guy. Apart from the actors, the main reason to watch the film is to enjoy the gloriously inept creature effects. The demon is a plastic puppet that looks more like a sea horse than a monster. The rest of the special effects are equally as dubious. The film also strangely spends a significant amount of time 'paying homage' to (ie. shamelessly ripping off) "Exorcist II: The Heretic". Why anyone would want to take inspiration from that train wreck is beyond me, but someone was obviously a fan. Blood Tide has many faults: crap special effects, a poor script and a lead actor who refuses to wear a shirt. However, it is also campy horror fun and contains one of the funniest displays of beach side aerobics that I can remember seeing. In any case, Blood Tide does not belong in the bottom 100.

Neil (Martin Kove, the evil martial arts instructor in the "Karate Kid" movies) and his hottie wife Sherry (the lovely Mary Louise Weller; Mandy Pepperidge in "Animal House") go to a remote Greek island to find Neil's kooky wayward sister Madeline (the gorgeous Deborah Shelton, who also sings the ending credits theme song). They not only find Madeline, but also shady fortune hunter Frye (a hale'n'hearty slice of fat, juicy ham from James Earl Jones) and his blonde bimbo girlfriend Barbara (the adorable Lydia Cornell). Frye awakens an ancient evil sea beast from its centuries of slumber. The creature proceeds to eat a few folks including Barbara while she's swimming topless. The superstitious villagers decide to sacrifice the virginal Madeline to the creature in order to placate it. "Blood Tide" is a good example of a promising story let down by an extremely flat and uninspired execution. The cast is fine (besides the aforementioned folks, we also have Jose Ferror as the mayor and Lila Kedrova as a nun), the Greek locations are breathtakingly beautiful, the plot is fresh and interesting, Weller and Cornell look spectacular in skimpy bikinis, but alas Richard Jeffries' slack direction keeps the pace crawling along at a gruelingly sluggish clip and fails to create the necessary tension and creepy atmosphere required to make the premise work like it should (Jeffries later made amends for his bungling here by co-writing the script for the excellent "Scarecrows"). Moreover, we hardly get to see the monster and when we finally do it looks pretty hokey and unconvincing. The tedious surplus of drippy dialogue doesn't help matters any either. Only in the last ten minutes does the pace pick up and the suspense kick in, but by then it's way too little much too late to make this anything more than a might-have-been-something-better wasted opportunity.

Ah, horror garbage at its finest, at least in parts. Young couple goes to Greece on their honeymoon looking for his sister. That's exactly what I wanted to do on my honeymoon. Meet up with JEJ and his hot blond on an island that they are unwelcome on and meet an ancient curse. I should be basking in the cheesiness, but somehow it doesn't deliver. Don't get me wrong there were some truly classic moments including the children sacrificing their friend in a game, the whole 5 SECONDS of the paper mache monster, and the village drunk was good for a laugh. I just found myself dozing in between. Good news though I found out who David Hasselhoff based his acting techniques off of.