Blood Car

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source: Blood Car

After watching this movie, I think you have to watch it more like a comedy than a horror movie. Although the scenes are not always logical and here and there the plot is a bit strange, it keeps you watching until the end. The question is intriguing, how far would you go, to keep your car running? How much would you pay? Even pay in blood? Although it is ridiculous and would never work, in this movie the car actually runs on blood. And although one can buy gas in this movie, albeit at astronomical prices, you see nobody drive a car. They are still there, but nobody drives them. Not even the very wealthy probably. There is only one car running here, and it has an appetite. To appreciate this movie, turn off your brain, and enjoy it. I did. Don't try to use logic, because there isn't any. Although the end is quite harsh, the message is clear, we go to extremes to keep our beloved economy running at top speed, and the same is true for our cars of course...

I went in hoping for Little Shop of Horrors vs. Mad Max, but ultimately found myself unamused and waiting for the film to end. While the premise is interesting, there's not enough substance to sustain the entire length of the film, which feels too long even at only 76 minutes. It's a notable achievement for their shoestring budget, but otherwise it comes across as very amateurish, the comedic scenes are forced (as in, "look at me, I'm trying to be funny"), and the characters are really unlikeable (save for Anna Chlumsky, whose portrayal of the girl next door is one of he few redeeming factors of this film). But, I've definitely seen worse. Heck, I've WORKED on worse films.

Words really cannot explain how amazing/brilliant/hilarious this movie is. Let me just say this to those unfortunates who have yet to experience the glory that is Blood Car: there are moments in peoples lives that define them, that change who they are forever, once you have seen this movie, you will be able to break your life down like this: BBC and ABC, life before Blood Car and life After Blood Car. Why are you reading this and not watching Blood Car??? Whats wrong with you? Do something useful with your life, nut up and watch Blood Car. IMDb is making me write more so try this on for size: A car that runs on blood. A vegan kindergarten teacher who loves nasty sex. An obsessed veg-table stand worker. A pathetic "governemt". Brilliant writing, brilliant acting, brilliant soundtrack. And tarantulas, deadly tarantulas for sale in vending machines.

I Liked the sound of the plot, i thought it be a really funny movie but I did not enjoy this movie at all. I not did found this movie funny at all, all of the Jokes were just really bad, fall flat before then even ended. The rest of the movie, I found it too dull, from the start there wasn't anything really keeping me into the movie. They could have made this a lot better, with some better and funny jokes that worked, the ones in here did not work at all. There is one good thing, i can about this, is that there was one good bloody scenes that, only stick to my mind. The movie dying from the start, then goes on, stick the nail in the coffin even before the movie ended with the last scene, which was not funny on any level. That was a joke too far! The acting in this movie was poor, from most of the cast. 1 out of 10

It's not really graphic or scary in any traditional horror sense, but it is absolutely brilliant. You do have to have a quite highly developed sense of humour to appreciate a lot of it though. If you like, say...South Park and enthusiastically made low-budget (not necessarily entirely)horror, then you will probably get a kick out of this. If you liked this then check out Ankle Biters, The Janitor, Buttcrack and Gory Gory Hallelujah for starters. There's a treasure trove of great low budget independent gems out there just waiting for the right person (someone who appreciates them) to discover them. Blood Car is one of the best I've ever seen though, and it's not one of the "so bad it's good" style (which are a related, but subtly different taste). The script and acting and all out balls in your face take it to a higher plane than nearly every one of this "type" of films I've seen. It may even be THE BEST etc! Someone mentioned Uwe Boll in another comment, and I do kind of feel sorry for Uwe after seeing this. I have doubts bigger than aircraft carriers that Postal is going to be anywhere near as irreverent, controversial, outrageous and over-the-top funny as this little indie gem. I'm also loving the comments from people complaining or saying that they marked it down due to whatever their little personal boundary was that the movie breached, ... ********** SPOILERS FOLLOW! ***************** SPOILERS FOLLOW! ************** SPOILERS FOLLOW! IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE YET THEN DO YOURSELF A FAVOUR AND GO WATCH IT AND LET IT SURPRISE YOU BEORE READING ON. SRSLY.********** SRSLY. ...be it shooting puppies repeatedly with a bb gun (comedy GOLD!) or summary execution of a school full of kids (sheer unadulterated GENIUS), or some were just offended by the baby thing at the end (I lol'd).

Sick-in-the-head, foul-mouthed, crude-humored comedy satire on the obsession of fuel about a quiet, scrawny, geeky vegan kindergarten schoolteacher, Archie Andrews(Mike Brune)who discovers by accident that his wheat-grass engine in fact works on blood. Through trial and error, Archie creates a metal fan chopper which he sets up in his trunk for animals with a long plastic tube that feeds blood to the engine..but soon Archie finds that people make his car's engine run longer. What ultimately motivates Archie to commit such atrocities like dumping the carcasses of a dead old woman neighbor, war vet with plastic limbs(..he actually beats the poor guy into the trunk with his own plastic leg), a bubbly hot brain-dead blond(..he goads her to his trunk by proclaiming that puppies are back there), and black gangster(..and a gas station owner who wishes to know why the black gangster was in Archie's trunk)in his trunk body smasher is the fact that profane and slutty Meat Stand operator(!)Denise(Katie Rowlett)will perform all kinds of sexual acts just to have the pleasures of riding in a car(..she has a superiority complex deriving from the idea that those who ride in cars are simply better than those who can not afford to). The relationship between Archie and Denise is a tool for an endless parade of homosexual gags..you'll find out as you watch it. Lorraine(..cutie Anna Chlumsky, of "My Girl" fame who is so short and nerdy, but so darn likable), the Vegan Stand operator(!)carries a torch for Archie even creating perverse artistic renderings between them. But, most of the film shows Archie escaping endless threats by government suits who wish to commandeer the vehicle so that his blood car can be studied and mass-produced for the marketplace since gas runs 33 dollars a gallon(..this warped comedy is set slightly in the future). Most of the comedy is dead pan using skinny, weakly Archie, who bores his poor students to tears reading from novels that mean nothing to their rather young ears, as this vessel of parody..he's often "showcased" in various sexual scenarios with Denise who may be "more" than she appears(hint:during their first sexual confrontation, she has him wearing his own shirt over his face). Chlumsky, who doesn't appear in that many film since her childhood days, is just adorable yet carries this wanton sexual desire for Archie that culminates in a less-than-enthusiastic(..for her, it is, but Archie, no)sexual episode on his bed(..not elaborated, so sorry for those who are curious about what Chlumsky might look like naked). Also, a running series of gore-gags concern the government agents who always seem to foul up either capturing Archie or his car, often ending up as fuel. For the most part, this film isn't for the easily offended, because most of the "funny" jokes and gags are really rather in poor taste. For instance, what the government agents do with all those who know Archie, so that they can erase his existence. SPOILER Or, the final gag where Archie, now perhaps President of the USA, holding an infant, does something with the newborn so that good ole America could still run those cars. While, the dialogue doesn't always tickle the funny-bone, there's enough outrageous moments of grue and blood splatter, along with the equal doses of wicked gags to sustain interest. But, this will undoubtedly ruffle a few feathers.

Do you worry about the price of fuel? If the price continues to rise, only the richest dudes will drive cars. Cars will regain their rightful place as 'babe' wagons. In this eco-friendly age where wheatgrass is the new cool, clean-cut kindergarten nerd Archie hangs up his teacher hat and goes home to work on a new invention – a car powered by the green slime itself. Archie stops for supplies at the vegan store where a prim and proper bespectacled girl sells him wheatgrass while sketching artistic * ("your * tastes like tofu") under the counter. Across the yard at the meat stall is a more predatory chick whose intentions are more openly high octane kinky sex. As they compete for his affection, Archie accidentally discovers that blood added to wheatgrass makes the engine work a treat. He even dispenses with the wheatgrass. Archie is a vegan, so killing small animals causes him great emotional anguish. Even more when they won't stay still. But having bagged a few quadrupeds there is even more anguish when he realise the car wants human blood or nothing. Blood Car is a crisply-made, ultra low-budget movie that has been compared to the Troma films or those of Russ Meyer and John Waters. Low-tech special effects, bouncing bosoms, and hilariously tongue-in-cheek. For the first hour, I was spellbound by its audacity, the thumbing at convention, and never knowing where it was going next. The sight of Archie on a bike, wielding an axe and chasing two FBI men, reminded me of the luckless cyclist hero-nerd from Peter Jackson's early movie, Braindead. But then it struck me. Blood Car was made by talented people who knew their trash movies. And good lighting. And good cinematography. But it was also a mish-mash of many styles. It lacks consistency. Acting is (at best) caricature. And for all the gore, sex and violence it still lacks bite. Political satire here entertains rather than protests. Blood Car's limits are tamely within those defined by the Meyer and Waters it emulates. It had no real axe to grind against Hollywood as does Troma. It reeks of clever students showing off. But although I was ultimately disappointed, I was still entertained for over an hour. It was the low-brainer I needed after an overly-serious and slightly soul-destroying morning. Like the girl who flashes her tits at Archie to get a lift, and is then lured into the boot to see the puppies, I had been happily hooked. It would sound mean to say I'd been had. Even if it's true. And, like me, I bet you want to look in the boot . . .

I see this movie was perceived quite controversially, people seem to either enjoy it or hate it for what it is. I personally had great fun watching this movie. From the moment I knew about the title, I went like 'wow what an idea'. Surprisingly, unlike many good movie concepts, this one was actually perfected into details of context. The main character, is creature-loving vegan, whose job is to teach little kids in elementary school. When he happens to perfect a car that runs on alternative fuel - human blood - in world where gas is so expensive that driving car becomes a dream, and actually riding a car gives you god-like feeling and appreciation of women... the battle finally begins - inside him. It's a battle of respect towards life - and desire for kinky sex with girl that is very interested in his as a man who operates a car. The combo of violence and cynic humor is hysterical. (like when he hunts for squirrels, and cries for them). Great horror for those who don't mind seeing some gore, but avoid paranormal titles. This one doesn't include any. Although I think the movie takes rapid move towards end (scene where he eats meat till end) which feels like the budget is just exceeded and the movie has to 'end too early' while I think it has built material for longer plot (even a sequel) - I recommend it to everyone who has mood for crazy story and unconventional original movie.