Blackenstein

Blackenstein

Blackenstein

Blackenstein

Blackenstein (1973) * 1/2 (out of 4) A black man has his arms and legs blown off in Vietnam but Dr. Stein puts him back together again using his DNA potion. However, a crazy assistant injects him with another potion, which turns him into a monster. Whenever you hear the title BLACKENSTEIN it's usually followed by "worst movie ever made" or something to that nature. In all honesty I was rather disappointed that the movie didn't live up to its bad reputation. Yes, it's a very bad movie but it's not nearly as bad as hundreds of other horror movies out there and I'd say if you're a fan of drive-in cheese from the 70s then you'll probably find yourself either smiling or laughing at this picture. Being blaxploitation, it's mostly dumb white people being killed by the monster but the stereotypes are rather hilarious. The monster looks very stupid but the death scenes are rather brutal, although the special effects are a joke. Considering how "poor" the movie is I was surprised at how much graphic violence they threw in but it's better than nothing. I would tell you how the monster dies at the end but you really need to see if for yourself as it's reason enough to check the film out.

BLACKENSTEIN (1973) ½* John Hart, Ivory Stone, Joe DeSue, Roosevelt Jackson. In this film directed by William A. Levey (Wham Bam Thank You Spaceman; Skatetown, U.S.A.), "Dr. Stein" replaces the arms and legs of a black Vietnam vet named Eddie, but something goes wrong and Eddie becomes a murdering, rampaging monster. This low-budget mess is long on phony-looking gore, but short on plot. If you're interested in blaxploitation/horror hybrids like this, check out the vastly superior "Blacula" instead.

This has got to be the worst movie I have ever seen, an hour and a half of my life that I will never get back. There were many scenes where Blackenstein's shadow walks around for no reason, and to cap it off a bottle only marked "DNA" turned him into Blackenstein.

I wanted to originally call this the original "Malcolm & Eddie" but apparently the guy's name in this movie is Malcomb. Whatever. The blaxploitation phenomenon of the early 1970's yielded some very interesting and memorable product, albeit low-budget. There were a number of black themed horror films that were made. Many are aware of the Blacula series that probably gave ideas to Eddie Murphy and Wes Craven when they made Vampire In Brooklyn during one of Eddie's many low periods. Of course, they also decided to remake Frankenstein. The movie begins as Dr. Winifred Walker has come to her mentor Dr. Stein in Los Angeles asking for his help. Her boyfriend Eddie Turner is a Vietnam vet who came back to the U.S. with both his arms and legs amputated due to a landmine explosion. Dr. Stein is one of those "mad doctors", although he's not "mad" in the sense. His experiments in healing and DNA are only known to a select few. He agrees to help Eddie. During the operation, which takes three steps, Dr. Stein's assistant Malcomb falls in love with Dr. Walker. He professes his love for her. Winifred tells Malcomb that she can only like Malcomb as a friend because she loves Eddie and wants to marry him once he's recovered. Malcomb then switches Eddie's DNA with the DNA of someone (something?) else and when they keep injecting the DNA in him, he mutates into the title character: BLACKENSTEIN! Of course, Blacky goes around killing his victims; although he seems to have an agenda when it comes to his slayings. The first one who dies is a male nurse that would verbally assault him for going to Vietnam and wouldn't give him ice cream. His slaying is done behind a screen and we see him pounded into hamburger and then having HIS limbs torn apart. All this while the doctors try to figure out why Eddie has mutated to this form. The acting in this movie is atrocious. It is obvious none of the actors were naturals. Malcomb, played by Roosevelt Jones, does come off as effective due to Jones' wooden acting since he is playing a simple but sinister man. I did like the spiel of victim Number One, played by Bob Brophy; it's kind of a rant that was expected by the former hippies by 1973. The lighting is terrible, the sets are cheap looking and the script for the most part is on the level of George Lucas' efforts. There's too much dead time and the movie lurches from scene to scene. And boy, does Blacky move slow and look silly with his afro and threads. If you do like bad movies, this is worthy, but it is missing that special ingredient that something like Plan 9 From Outer Space or Showgirls offered. There is better in every genre (blaxploitation, horror, so-bad-it's good or a mix) so you should look elsewhere.

This movies is absolutely awful. I truly feel like every copy of this movie should be destroyed to prevent additional people from wasting part of their lives on it. Trust me, this movie should not be viewed, even to laugh at how bad it is.

I and my friends had a great time watching this collection of dismal performances, tacky set design, a confused patchwork script, and completely unjustified invocation of serious themes like Vietnam and racism in support of exploitationist trash. The things we couldn't figure out were little things like: why does a black female physics student do graduate work with a white male medical doctor? Why this same woman had one hairdo in the lab and a completely different one two seconds later outside of the lab? Why do the doctor and the woman have dinner by themselves at opposite ends of the world's biggest dining table with the world's biggest (and ugliest) centerpiece smack in the middle? Why does the movie just stop dead right in the middle to present a couple of nightclub acts, then just pick up again like nothing had happened? And why "Blackenstein" anyway? The story has nothing to do with the Frankenstein story or anything like it. If anything, it's closer to Jekyll and Hyde....well, kinda, sorta....well, not really.....

A few of the 70s drive-in movies I've seen were a lot of fun. This one is not. I appreciate Xenon in bringing back the "blaxplo" heydays through their video releases, but man, why not leave that scratchy looking print on the shelf and make it stay forgotten? BLACKENSTEIN is downright awful in its dreadful glory. Not a whole lot can be said about the horror elements other than the removal of body parts. How about shoving down people to make them die? A lot of your fun goes to scenes of mad scientists playing with liquid formulas and having to sit through useless scrap footage. The way our stiff-looking creep in an afro walks around and spreads his arms defines the most horrendous acting performance I've ever seen. It's that bad! Naturally speaking, don't confuse this one with the much superior BLACULA. The two are not the same. Dreadful!