Black Dice

Moviecut—Black Dice

I guess the censors were on a lunch break when this film came before them. Or perhaps the Brits didn't have a censorship program like we had. "No Orchids for Miss Blandish" is a film ahead of its time, for sure, one filled with brutality, sex, and implied rape. Apparently upon its release it caused a big hullabaloo. Various councils banned the film and the lead censor had to apologize! The story concerns a woman with an insanely rich father, the aforementioned Miss Blandish (Linden Travers) whose $100,000 diamonds are stolen, she is kidnapped, and her boyfriend is killed (in an awful scene) by thugs led by Slim (Jack LaRue). Though she has witnessed a murder and there is pressure for him to kill her, Slim returns the diamonds to her and tells her to leave. He's fallen in love with her, and she with him. This leads to lots of problems. There are so many murders and people turning on one another in this film that I lost count. The story for me was highly implausible, with not enough fleshing out of the characters to make their actions believable. Despite the fact that this is supposed to be an American gangster story, it had a distinctive British feel to it. The acting was good, even though apparently it was a career-wrecker for some of the performers, Linden Travers being among them. Not what I was expecting by a long shot and for me it was short on characterizations and long on violence. Still, it's worth seeing as an artifact of not only British cinema, but of its time.

When this movie first appeared it was excoriated as vile, filthy, depraved, you name it. What a disappointment! The people who got in a lather must have based their indignation solely on the book, which IS very violent and disturbing. There is less violence in this movie than in the gangster films of the Thirties, especially Jimmy Cagney's, and less perversion than in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Miss Blandish, with her cut-glass debutante accent, exudes no passion, nor does her gangster lover. When they kiss, mushy romantic music plays! at one point the camera pans to a fireplace! This could be Ginger Rogers in Kitty Foyle for all the depravity going on. The script is tame and dull, the direction plodding, the acting terrible. Everyone tries to be very tough and American, but they've got Made in Twickenham stamped on their foreheads, and can't keep up their imitations of American accents without making a few slips (how many American gangsters' molls say "cahn't"?). Plus there are several nightclub acts which are, to use authentic American slang of the period, strictly from hunger.

This British gangster thriller from a sensationalistic American crime novel by James Hadley Chase (also filmed on its home ground in 1971 by Robert Aldrich as THE GRISSOM GANG) is notorious for how awful it is, some claiming it "among the worst ever made", others "certainly the most bizarre British film"! This unenviable reputation (which the writer-director could not attempt to alter or otherwise exploit since he would die at age 40 that same year!) has actually turned it into a cult, enabling a R1 SE DVD from VCI. Having been impressed with the Aldrich version and being something of a sucker for bad cinema (especially from this vintage), I acquired the film immediately when the opportunity presented itself though I only got to watch BLANDISH now as part of my ongoing Noir marathon. As often happens, the movie is nowhere near the stinker most claim it to be: granted, the performances are hilariously over-the-top (thus a fount of entertainment in itself!), the would-be American accents do not fool anyone (there is even future "Carry On" stalwart Sidney James, for cryin' out loud, not to mention a stand-up comic amusingly spoofing the Hollywood double-act of Sydney Greenstreet and Peter Lorre!) and, frankly, the gall of it all makes the experience that much more fascinating, almost hypnotic! In comparison with the later version (but typical of its era), the leads here are over-age: they are Jack LaRue (the only genuine Yank in the cast: incidentally, he is far removed from the Mama's Boy as played by Scott Wilson in the remake) and Linden Travers (previously noted for supporting parts in spy thrillers like Hitchcock's superb THE LADY VANISHES [1938], she is the personification of elegance rather than Kim Darby's society brat). Incidentally, both novel and film(s) were criticized for glorifying violence (this is indeed quite brutal for the time) and the notion of 'Amour Fou' since the kidnapped heiress ends up falling for her psychotic captor. Other notable characters are the obese Mob-leading mother (Lilly Molnar), a no-less unhinged member of the gang who becomes involved with the girl who ultimately gives them away (Walter Crisham 'standing in' for Tony Musante), a thuggish cohort (played by Danny Green, later of THE LADYKILLERS [1955]), and a crusading reporter (a much-younger Hugh McDermott 'replacing' Robert Lansing). The photography (by Gerald Gibbs) is reasonably atmospheric, smoothing over the general amateurishness on display, and there is another definite asset in its lush score. However, one major difference from the obviously superior remake is the film's surprisingly downbeat ending. For the record, I recently acquired another rare Hadley Chase adaptation, the French-made FLESH OF THE ORCHID (1975) – co-scripted by Luis Bunuel regular Jean-Claude Carriere!

"No Orchids for Miss Blandish" is an excellent British film noir picture. Its greatest strength is its script--which avoids sentimentality and has a hard edge that makes it a big tougher than its American cousins. Miss Blandish is a young lady whose father is immensely wealthy. Additionally, her diamonds have caught the eyes of some petty thugs who are planning on robbing her. This robbery turns out to be super- vicious and in the process, two of the robbers are killed. The remaining crook is a swell guy--who not only plans on taking the diamonds but raping Blandish! However, just before he can complete this vicious act, another gang (headed by Slim---played by Jack LaRue) takes the diamonds and kills the remaining thug. At first, this second gang plans on keeping the diamonds and ransoming the woman, but Slim falls for the lady and soon decides to not only keep her for himself but return the jewels! This, of course, doesn't sit well with the gang and you know it's only a matter of time before they make their move. This is an incredibly violent film for the time. Not only is the attempted rape heavily implied, but the very end is really, really violent--and fortunately does NOT give way to sentiment. Overall, a very gritty film with great gangster dialog and lots to appreciate. By the way, one reviewer complained how bad the accents were, as the cast was mostly British and they were pretending to be Americans. Well, I thought this was barely noticeable most of the time and didn't think this impaired the film at all. Sure, a few of the attempts were downright silly...but don't take away from the great noir plot, atmosphere and horrifyingly realistic violence. Just my two-cents worth.

Forget the dumb title! This English Noir throws in every Hollywood cliché of the genre, and almost pulls it off smoothly. Certain plot points will remind you of some big American films, like "White Heat" and "The Asphalt Jungle", although this one came first. The "unacceptable" aspects, production code-wise, will surprise you, and the unpredictability of the plot is pretty wonderful in a film from this era. Look out for spoilers on this one! Hardworking actor Jack La Rue does nothing wrong in a role that begs for Bogart-- as so many past and present roles do.(He always reminds me of a sort of composite Bogie, Glenn Ford, and Victor Mature, especially here, without having quite their class, soul or looks, respectively.) And Linden Travers does everything she can with a practically impossible role-- you can't help but think that she could have used a little more help from director Clowes with the exposition. We don't expect noir, where style should come before substance, to be "believable" in the usual sense, but check this one out and see if it puts you in mind of how strong direction tells us what we know and can't see. If you like noir, and can roll with the punches, you'll love it.

I'd just like to point out that this film has been shown on British TV, on Channel 4 in the early Eighties - though that was its first showing, and I'm pretty certain the only one to date. I'd like to see it again, though as I recall it was hard to take seriously. (Sid James as a Chicago crook...??)

Being American I had never heard of this film. Chock full of gangster clichés and Amercian accents as bad as my English attempts, it was brilliant!! It is more watchable than some 'better' films. Its also ironic to watch some 50 years later. We found it on a satellite channel Moves4Men. LOL I think I'd now classify it as noir comedy/satire of early gangster films. It now rates a PG classification and was shown at noon on a Bank Holiday Monday. Others have given excellent overviews, I see no need to do the same, but rather give our observations of this underrated film. Best passionate kiss in an early b&w film I've ever seen. Where passion is usually shown as quick peck on the lips you saw these people were passionate about one another. Film students will have a field with the metaphors in this film; the 360 around the room ending with the pounding rain on the window, the long lovingly lingering shot on the huge orchid, and Miss Blandish in a dressing gown, do we ever learn her first name? And the final tragic scene of Miss Blandish's out stretched hand not far an orchid, an exotic hot house bloom crushed beneath the feet of the uncaring passersby. For a low budget film a lot a care has been taken with detail. The gowns, especially the singer's see through skirt and tap pants, oooh we know she's a naughty girl. Even 'Ma' a large middle age woman with no make up has an exotic gown that contrasts with her mannish personality as one of the leaders of the gang. It is in strange-way, refreshing, to see some bad guy shot, no muss no fuss no long winded exposition just bang, curtains for you mat er um buddy. If I found this on DVD I'd buy it without a second thought. Its refreshing, compelling and fun. Yet the ending is poignant, poor Miss Blandish discovering too late what fun bad boys are.

This is the first version of James Hadley Chase's famous shocker. It was remade as "The Grissom Gang" in 1971 by Robert Aldrich. As a writer Chase made a fortune, despite getting atrocious reviews from British critics. The movie was no exception regarding reviews; some sample quotes... ...the most sickening exhibition of brutality, perversion, sex and sadism...the morals are about level with those of a scavenger dog...it has all the sweetness of a sewer...the worst film I have ever seen. I saw it when I was sixteen and I loved it, even buying the record of the background music (Song Of The Orchid). It had a mostly British cast with one imported American *star* Jack La Rue. It would be interesting to see it again fifty years later. I imagine the violence everyone complained of would seem pretty tame by today's standards.

No Orchids For Miss Blandish was released in 1948. At that time, films tended not to contain violence or sexual innuendo of any particular note but this one had plenty of both. As a result, the critics at the time were quick to unleash howls of derision in the film's direction. "It has all the morals of an alley cat and the sweetness of a sewer" protested The Observer; "the most sickening exhibition of brutality, perversion, sex and sadism ever to be shown on a cinema screen" was the verdict of The Monthly Film Bulletin. "The worst film I have ever seen" cried the Sunday Express, while a British politician (and future prime minister) named Harold Wilson scoffed with indignation and declared that there would be "No Oscars for Miss Blandish!!" Taking all this into account, it would be reasonable to assume that No Orchids For Miss Blandish is one of the worst films of all-time. That's certainly what I was expecting when I sat down to watch it. Imagine my surprise when it turned out to be quite good! What we have here is a film that was a little ahead of its time - too violent and ground-breaking for its contemporaries to stomach, but in retrospect a well-made gangster story that dares to rub the audience's face in filth and unpleasantness. Ultra rich heiress Miss Blandish (Linden Travers) is kidnapped one night whilst out driving with her fiancée. The abduction is masterminded by a bunch of small-time hoods who want to get hold of a priceless necklace she wears, but the heist gets out of hand and several of the gang members end up killing each other. When the bloodshed is over, Miss Blandish finds herself at the mercy of opportunist Bailey (Leslie Bradley). Later, though, the much more powerful and savage Grisson gang learn of her whereabouts. The gang is ostensibly led by odious old matriarch Ma Grisson (Lila Molnar), but in reality the true gang leader is her psychopathic and much-feared son, Slim Grisson (Jack La Rue). Even though Slim is utterly ruthless and a born killer, Miss Blandish finds herself falling for his brutal charm. She persuades him to return the necklace to her father along with a note explaining that she is staying with Slim of her own free will. However, the other members of the Grisson gang start to get nervous as Slim's behaviour grows clouded by his love life, and Miss Blandish's father refuses to believe that his daughter could possibly be happy when she's shacked-up with a sadistic killer. As the odd couple prepare to run away and start a new life together, the fates conspire to ruin their dreams. No Orchids For Miss Blandish is good stuff. La Rue plays Slim with just the right balance of toughness and elegance, while Walter Crisham, MacDonald Parke and Lila Molnar all etch memorable portrayals as the other main heavies. Travers rounds off the cast in an appealing turn as the squeaky-clean heroine who gradually learns that she likes it rough. The film is let down a little by the fact that most of the cast are British actors pretending to be Americans, complete with unconvincing accents. Also, the ease and speed with which Miss Blandish falls in love with her captor is a plot development that takes rather a lot of swallowing. But when the actors engage in their frequent snarling exchanges, and the violent action kicks into gear, this is enthralling stuff! If you thought old British films from the 1940s were all sweetness and light think again!!!