Beer League

source: Beer League

Artie Lange can be extremely funny when he wants to as evidenced on Howard's Serius radio show, sadly that's not really in evidence in the fifty millionth "Bad News Bears" remake. Artie plays a character named Artie who's the pitcher of a pretty bad minor softball team who of course is in conflict with a rival better team. He also falls in love with the town *. While still better than the atrocious "Beerfest" that came out around the same time, very few of the jokes hit it out of the park and i found myself getting very bored with the film quickly and checking my watch multiple times. Didn't help that one of the female characters voice was annoying enough to make me puncture my eardrums. My Grade: D Eye Candy: Multiple girls show skin during the bachelor party scene, but it's Keisha who's the real standout there

Blatantly profane, smarmy attempt at a comedy, dealing with the uber-intense plot of a slovenly softball team trying not to get kicked out of their league. Perhaps if I grew up back east, where apparently close friends engage in non-stop insults of each other, their wives, and even small children. Or more importantly, was still a 14-year-old boy who could delight in laughing through a cupped hand at the hardcore sexual references. Maybe I'd be singing praises from a rooftop somewhere. Instead, I stared embarrassingly at the amateurish mess in front of me. I'm sure the target audience will cherish their dvds, but the limited release is the tell-tale of how unacceptable this is to most crowds. It borders on the same humor that made "Virgin" and "Anchorman" hits, but those films --- though I hated them --- at least limited their vulgarity. This film just purposely goes for the throat in terms of tastelessness and constant four-letter dialogue. It was good to see Macchio again (you could tell he asked that his cuss-words be kept to a minimum), and even Seymour Cassel play against type. But the casual nature of tossed off lines dealing with ejaculation and bj's was utterly desperate. And must we see another implausible romance between a hot * and a greasy pudge? It's getting old. Did I mention the * that can launch ping-pong balls from her *? Nuff said.

Watched/listened to this train wreck on the "Secret Stash" on Comedy Central last night. At this hour, it wasn't too censored and I found it virtually unwatchable. Not since Manos: The Hands of Fate, back in the Mystery Science Theater 3000 days, has Comedy Central fielded such garbage. Would actually rather have seen a 44th rerun of an old "Dave Chapelle Show" than to be subjected to this. Most of the commercials were sustaining (Comedy Central) as I can imagine they would have had a hard time attracting any advertising save for local cable stuff. In my opinion, after "Manos", this is the worst movie Comedy Central has ever shown. Skip it!

I'm a huge Howard Stern fan, and I've been excited to see this movie since I first heard Artie talking about it on the Stern show. I was not expecting much out of this movie - just a stupid movie with some good laughs. But this film fell far short of my already very low expectations. There were plot lines within plot lines within plot lines - each one slowing down any kind of flow the movie tried to catch. When the softball part started to get somewhat interesting, the love story would bog it down. Artie tried to do a John Candy and be the farcical yet believable character - but he just did a bunch of Artie-shtick. He really was not able to carry this movie. It was kind of a fun movie, but even the fun scenes such as the bachelor party felt like a drag - clumsily staged and just awkward. Ralph Maccio rocked. Hopefully he will get in more movies from doing this one. The enemy antagonist was good at his role, but it was just too unbelievable. This guy has the best softball team, owns the best gym, AND is running for mayor? All of these different plot lines began to give me a headache and made me look at my watch waiting for the end. There are some good laughs, but we get mostly one liners here. In fairness, I should add that my friend who saw it with me has never listened to the Stern show and liked the movie a lot better than I did. This is a good TV movie or Netflix movie, but I wouldn't recommend seeing it in the theaters.

Finally a good movie just for guys. Artie Lange shines in probably the only movie that I know of that had softball at the sport at hand. It's typically working guy, blue collar guy kind of movie. With great jokes, Artie is hilarious and you actually want to See Artie Lange catch the ground balls(because he really does). Me and my buddies laughed as soon as the movie started; it's a good eighty minute flick to just leave your brain at the door and want to be entertained. A good show and I wish Artie Lange luck when it goes national. I would recommend it definitely. Laurie Metcalf was great as Artie's mom, and had some hilarious scenes that are very memorable! Great movie, great time, Beer Leauge is a great movie!

Hey - it's "The Bad News Bears" again, but this time it's an older guy's softball team. How many times is this storyline going to be thrown back at us (as long as we keep paying to watch?). Hey - there's also the loose woman with a heart of gold and the villainous villain who struts and grabs his crotch a lot. There were some good scenes and there may have been something worthwhile in the screenplay and some of the characters but ultimately the thing was edited to fit the formula so that that which may have been worthwhile was lost or left to sit shining alone with no beginning or resolution. A long disjointed sentence with no commas. Advice -- Do not pay money for this. Download it for free, burn it to a CD -- then burn the CD.

Artie Lange is an acquired taste. That is, if you know who he is. Not a marquee name, though definitely a recognizable face, Lange, like Adam Sandler, is the kind of comedian you either love or hate: loud, profane, and politically incorrect. Lange is basically John Belushi reincarnated (it helps that Lange looks enough like Belushi that he could play him in a bio pic). I've been a huge fan of Artie Lange's since the beginning of his career so the critique that follows should be considered pretty biased. In BEER LEAGUE, Lange plays Artie (what a surprise), a 35-year-old alcohol-loving slacker/loser without a job who still lives with his mother (Laurie Metcalf). His life consists of little else besides attending bars, eating, and playing softball with his buddies. After getting in a fight with the championship team, it is decided by the local police that only one of the teams will be able to remain in the league at the end of the season. What follows is a series of scenes involving non-stop cursing, alcohol consumption, and some softball playing in between. It goes without saying that BEER LEAGUE doesn't have the strongest plot in the world, which helps get as much nudity, crude jokes, and general tastelessness as one could want from the genre. A good 85% of the jokes succeed. However, there are times when the lack of story really does hurt the film. While never coming across as a one-joke, "Saturday Night Live" (or in Lange's case, "MAD TV") sketch kind of movie, Lange and co-writer/director Frank Sebastiano occasionally seem to find themselves in a trap as to what exactly to do with the picture to move it along plot wise. There's a sub-plot involving Artie's love-interest Linda (the very cute Cara Buono, giving the best performance of anyone in the cast) that gives the raunch-fest an unexpected heart, though despite their chemistry, her character and their relationship is never developed strongly enough for me to give it a higher rating. That said, the romance angle works a lot better here than it did in recent R-rated comedies like WEDDING CRASHERS and 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN, where it seemed to take the focus away from the main proceedings and in VIRGIN's case, felt extraordinarily fake. BEER LEAGUE is better than both the aforementioned comedies and certainly has more laughs than both combined, but if you aren't a fan of Lange, chances are you'll find yourself disagreeing. For the 18-29 male demographic BEER LEAGUE makes for a great guy flick. 7/10

I love Stern and love Artie but don't waste your money on this movie. I saw it in the theater and should have walked out about 20 minutes in but stayed until the end. Artie can't deliver a line to save his life. Stick to the radio show Artie, that is what you do best. This sells because of Howard Stern. It has been commercialized like crazy because Artie Lange is a part of the Howard's show on Sirius Satellite Radio. He is not even that good on the show but is just my opinion. Cut to the movie, This is a bad movie! I would not mind if it was a mediocre movie but I'm actually returning it for a refund, that's how bad it was. Has no artistic value, was made for pure profits and to take advantage of Howard Stern Radio Show on Sirius - Free Advertizing.

I gave it an 8,not a 10, but a solid 8, reminiscent of the animal house and super trooper type films, funny , just straight up funny, if you are expecting some kind of ingenious plot outline or drama, well look elsewhere, it is just plainly funny. Arite Lange gives a sarcastically funny, one liner performance that made me laugh out loud at least 5 or 6 times, and chuckle another 20 or 30 times. and Ralph Machio, who even knew he was still working, and although his humor was much dryer, I still fully enjoyed myself,and could recommend it to whomever, unless you are not into having a fun time. I can't wait for the BL2 movie, where the writing duo learns from what few mistakes may be in this and make an ever funnier movie, if that is possible.