Autopsy

First let me set the scene: After a night of drunken partying in N'Awlins some horny, stoned, drunk teens – 5 in all – head home. Unfortunately they crash on the way home, and for some insanely inexplicable reason actually end up on the body of a man dressed in hospital patient attire. Now let's do a quick questionnaire! Why? Did no-one say "that's a little odd!"? Especially when literally 30 seconds later an ambulance screams around the corner, picks up the body and sez "You guys should come too to check out your bumps". They leave the car and hop right in Why? When in the hospital does no-one think it odd that they must be checked out one at a time by the Doc, and you can't even check on your friends? Why? Would someone in the waiting room answer an unattended ringing hospital reception phone? Furthermore who would then investigate where the call might have come from? Who? Can tear apart an attacker with their bare hands? Who? Agrees to a needle in the spine to extract fluid to check a knock to the head? (You might respond "they didn't know better", but in this case it was a med student!) Which? 5 teens go out for a night nowadays and not one of them has a mobile phone? Which? Teen can't explain succinctly enough to a Cop that something is suss as a bloodied and seedy looking orderly stands by in menacing fashion? Who? Doesn't have some sort of lingering effect – or even noticeable pain – after being drilled in the head for about a minute? Who? Doesn't show a little nekkid flesh in a sh*tty generic gore film with 2 hot chicks running around in tight clothes? And finally Who? Deserves to die in bloodcurdling agony at the hands of an evil nurse (played by Vazquez in Aliens and one of the vampires in Near Dark), a seedy orderly (one of the seedy orderlies in Kill Bill – typecast!) and a maniacal and depraved Doctor (only Robert Patrick – T1000 himself!)? Answer? Only the vacuous dipsh*t teens in Autopsy, an awful excuse for a so-called horror film that is essentially an excuse to highlight some so-so gore effects. That's Who? Final Rating – 4.5 / 10. I have low expectations for these things going in. When 8 minutes in I know exactly where this is headed and that there is 0% chance those low expectations will be met it is disappointing – not as disappointing as knowing I still have 80 minutes still to go though.

A group of friends coming back from Mardi Gras in New Orleans suffer through a car accident on route 53. An ambulance shows up and takes them all to Mercy Hospital (which is anything but) where they meet the unorthodox doctor Benway (Robert Patrick, 'the Unit & T2), a nurse with a terrible bedside manner (Jenette Goldstein, Near Dark & also T2) and two orderlies who do most of the grislier work. This slasher film, while much better then the only previous '8 films to Die For' movies (the abysmal "the Broken") was not without it's own problems. The film moves at a steady clip when it gets going and some of the gore is impressive. But it's also quite predictable, has a clichéd storyline and under-developed characters. The actors all did a fairly good job, yet I didn't really care about any of them. I will concede that it's better than the previous films that Gierash & Anderson have worked on, although they've been (partly) responsible for Mother of Tears, Toolbox Murders, & Mortuary. So the fact that it's better is no mean feat. My Grade: C Lionsgate DVD Extras: Audio commentary with Adam Gierash, Even Katz, Jace Anderson, Ross McCall and Jessica Horowitz; Behind the scenes of the operating room featurette (20 minutes); Miss Horrorfest Web-isodes (running 58 lame minutes in total); an alternative ending; a combo trailer for the 8 films to die for 3; and trailers for "A Haunting in Connecticut", "Crank 2", "Punisher: War Zone", "the Transporter 3", "Weapons", "Midnight Meat Train", & "Saw 5"

Maybe the worst thing a horror film can do to a fan is bore the hell out of them. But that is exactly what Autopsy did to me and my fellow viewers during a recent screening. Autopsy, an entry in the After Dark Films series, begins with a group of students awaiting an ambulance after a car crash that has left a stranger dead under the vehicle. The students are taken to mercy Hospital which is run a small group of staff headed by Dr. David Benway (Terminator 2's Robert Patrick). Easily separated while awaiting minor treatment, the young stars (which include Jessica Lowndes, Ashley Schneider and Ross Kohn) soon find out that their health and safety is anything but assured while contained within the halls of the hospital. The first half of Autopsy was boring, predictable and lacking in any enjoyment whatsoever. Director Adam Gierasch brought nothing truly original to the screen and a contagious yawn could be heard throughout my screening group. But about half way through the film, it was as if Gierasch finally got it. He went from trying to establish mood and worthwhile characters to just having fun with the genre. There are more than a few wink wink nod nod type scenes in the second half that catapult Autopsy from a boring, meandering mess to a fairly watchable and at times enjoyable horror film. When you reach a fleeing female victim gets punched in the face by a sadistic intern, you know you have it the killerreviews turning point and that things will be more fanciful for the remainder of the film. The gore is definitely there. There is a scene with a naked man spewing his guts onto an ever-fighting female and the scene where we see a male victim with his guts hanging on strings and slings outside of his body was top rate. Autopsy then gets a mild recommendation based solely on the final 40 minutes. Robert Patrick is always a treat to watch and he is in full bad guy mode here (think Dr. Giggles except without the giggles). You won't care which of the young characters live or die or if any of them make it out alive for that matter. Maybe that's what made the second half so much fun. Once you stop thinking it a horror film and enjoy it as a black comedy with blood and body parts, the film takes flight. www.killerreviews.com

This is a movie with good gore, a good plot, good acting, and a good ending. The only thing bad about it is the ending was sorta predictable in my mind. There were parts that were unbelievable. But that's to be expected with the horror genre. Robert Patrick plays a good villain, could be better but overall good. Jessica Lowndes was pretty good as the leader of the movie but again could be better. Robert LaSardo was definitely the best actor in the movie. I do not have a single complaint with his part in the movie. Jennette Goldstein would be a creepy nurse in real life but it seemed that in the movie she was overacting just a little. All that being said it was a good (not great) Horror Flick.

I watched this on a Thursday night when there was nothing else good to pick from. It seemed like a good, gory, old-school slasher with a pinch of Coma interspersed with all the mayhem. Don't even expect anything close to Oscar nominations, but if you are in the mood for some disturbing fun this is for you. Robert Patrick is wonderful as the sadistic surgeon. Everyone else delivers slightly disjointed performances - heroes become victims in a heartbeat and vice versa - so it's far from believable. It feels like an inspired Dario Argento rip off really, but gore is the driving force. Character development is last on the list. The deaths are disturbing, however. It's not for the faint of heart. But for those who can stomach some old school gore, disturbing eccentricity, and have fun with B-movies check it out. Definitely not my top pick, but enjoyable enough. I'll give it an 8.

OK, so to be honest with you I nearly wet my pants last night when I saw this movie. Autopsy is a very creepy and pretty bloody. It's strange and it's shocking. The scientific element brings in some extra interesting moments. The whole idea of the mad, but in a way genius scientist, trying to treat cancer (well in a quite unusual way, but still :) was very impressive. To keep it short - spectacular special effects, gave a pretty real impression, however gore scenes were a bit too much for me, script was nice, the characters need a bit more personality because they were pretty stiff and unnatural in a way. Anyway very decent movie! 8/10

The movie indeed delivered more than it promised but i was not very impressed, except for the gore. Even with a pretty weak story line and some pretty bad acting, the movie still had some solid tense moments. There are some gross inaccuracies in the portrayal which steal much of the charm of the movie. During the lumbar puncture, the doctor withdraws way too much CSF, that could cause brain stem herniation and instant death. Over that, the color of the CSF if clear and not bright yellow shown in the movie. For the sake of building up suspense, the hospital has been shown to be completely deserted and still the guys in the movie don't grow suspicious over it. I was really surprised at the callousness of the police officer following the 911 call to he hospital... he seemed to be in a terrible haste to go! the concept of the organs being suspended out of the body and acting as a life support system for another person is truly astonishing except that it is outright impossible the way it was portrayed in the movie! Other than gross medical inaccuracies, there are moments of extremely poor acting and direction. On the whole, i would give the movie 5/10 for the gore factor. Other than that, its a pretty much copy-book style movie.

In my humble opinion, horror movies are amongst the tougher ones to make. Avoiding the clichés and keeping the audience on the edge is really hard. This movie is among the worse in its genre. Not because of the actors, some of which quite well known, although a few of them could have tried a little harder. Mainly because of the appalling script and the miserable direction. Totally (and I mean it) ridiculous. I have not jolted once and I could very much tell what the next scene was going to be through the movie. Soon I simply could not wait for the film to come to an end. So I could do something more useful than waste my time watching this.

Are you kidding? I like horror movies and this one is probably one of the worst I've ever seen. Robert Patrick et Robert Lasardo are good actors and cult for me (Robert Patrick as the T1000 and Robert Lasardo as Escobar Gallardo in the series Nip Tuck), the cast was probably OK, but there is a complete lack of coherence in the script. It looks like a bad TV movie. We can clearly see that all the cast is lost as they don't really act well. even Robert Patrick is desperately static and doesn't seem to enjoy playing his part. There are major plot holes every five minutes. For example, Emily (played by Jessica Lowndes) got a hole in the head, managed to escape from the scrub, and we won't told about that ever. she doesn't seem to feel pain when she runs nowhere in the hospital. who cares? Dr. David Benway (Robert Patrick) talks about patients as host. For what. You'll never know. The cop comes to check the hospital, theoretically closed 3 years ago, but it doesn't bother him. Emily lets the nurse lock her in a room, we can hear the sound of the lock, and after that she's trying to open that door, and looks surprised. Well we're not! All these people are completely dumb, it's a classic in horror movies but honestly, don't tell me it's a must see...

Autopsy exists primarily to provide gory scenes. From the opening several people manage to crash into some random guy. An ambulance shows up despite not being called but everyone is in shock. Unsurprisingly, nobody notices. They're in shock. Gory films don't usually interest me but at least this one achieved some shock value. Therefore everyone arrives at the hospital where insane paramedics, doctors and such try to experiment on their newfound victims or murder victims. Naturally the story doesn't matter because it's only setup for gory stuff that comes later. The kids are only there to be victims. However, although I consider "Event Horizon" and "Hostel" unmemorable, and "Hostel 2" groan-inducingly stupid, Autopsy actually managed to shock me during at least once.