Asteroid vs Earth

source: Asteroid vs Earth

Moviecut—Asteroid vs Earth

From a floating half submarine with a lawn chair as a control seat to such an exaggerated dialogue, I don't see how this movie even made it to TV... boy was this a sad movie to watch... did it win Golden Raspberry award!! If not it should!!

This is bad writing, directing, low budget Sci-fi movie making at its worst (or is it best). Some really great laughs though. I may have to watch it again. You need a pencil and paper to take notes to keep up with the plot twists. Props though for the non-traditional tertiary love story.

If you're a seasoned movie goer but have become tired of the relentless big box office releases then this is the movie for you. You'll need to nail your feet to the floor and duct tape your eyes open for the full 90 minute duration if you're to reap the benefit offered by this pox riddled flick. I'm unable to divulge any further details, as if you've not seen this movie then you'll think I made the whole thing up. On the upside, you'll come out the other side with a new appreciation of those big box office movies.

This movie was so bad that everyone involved should be prosecuted and imprisoned for crimes against humanity. Just kidding, but it really was that bad. I thought with some big stars like Tim Russ (Tuvok, Star Trek Voyager) and Robert Davai (Kholia, Stargate Atlantis) then it should be at least bearable. Nope. Nothing even close. Coming from a career in the military, the military characters and dialogue were horrific. Not the worst I've seen but still really bad. The Asylum "was" progressing slowly but surely towards better movies, but this was a step back. Even for the Asylum. Save your time, save your money, and just skip this. Trust me, if you watch this you'll wish you had taken my advice.

I am a big fan of Tia Carrera--especially since I met her at ComicCon, she gave me her smile! But what were you doing in this movie? For that matter, what were Tim Russ and Robert Davi doing in this movie? Did they really need the money? Even though the budget allowed them to have some OK special effects and some CGI scenes, the list of problems could go on and on and on. There would be some interesting CGI effect and then they would be in a submarine command center that was obviously just a bunch of computers in a room and the fact that Davi was clearly not in any kind of "command center", Please do not waste your time on this movie unless you want a good laugh.

The usual Asylum nonsense. As usual, I go into these expecting that they might be, surprise, surprise, good - like AIRPLANE VS VOLCANO, which was entertaining in a thoroughly cheesy way - but usually end up being thoroughly disappointed by a pitiful movie. Unfortunately, ASTEROID VS EARTH is an example of the latter. The storyline - which is all over the place, by the way - sees astronomers discovering a giant, 200-mile wide asteroid heading straight for Earth. Their solution is novel, to say the least; it involves MOVING the Earth by blowing up some nukes. What follows is a lot of nonsense involving characters globetrotting, some very poor explosive special effects, and exotic locales being razed to the ground. The cast is headlined by a rapidly ageing Tia Carrere, who looks off somehow; like she's had so much surgery, her face appears to be melting a little. Better is Robert Davi (DIE HARD) who at least appears to be trying, although he's a long way from the huge screen presence he had in the 1980s. STAR TREK: VOYAGER's Tim Russ pops up in a supporting role as a submarine captain. The only part of ASTEROID VS EARTH I really liked (apart from the end credits, obviously) was the international feel of the production, with much of the action centred in south-east Asia; a change from the usual US-centric Asylum flicks.

There's no excuse for bad writing, bad screenplay, bad sets, bad camera work, and bad directing. Nothing was thought out nor there was no insightful preparation to keep things real. The pacing was horrible and there was no military liaison to ensure that the rank structure or feel of a military presence was kept in tune with what to expect in running a ship, more so a submarine. Being a veteran of the U.S. Submarine Force, I gave this film a chance, but using a surface ship to present the inside of a submarine???...they would have had a better set using the inside of a car garage with PVC pipes taped along the walls. Even the uniforms were wrong, no haircuts, wrong use of rankings. The list goes on and on. The angle with the young, hotshot scientist was such a dumb move and there's no real linear threat with the time and distance of the approaching asteroid. Most of the actors in this film are washed up and probably needed the money, so they must have just been going through the motions to complete the film to receive their paychecks. I expected better from two or three of the actors, hopefully to lead and guide other actors towards a better film. But in the end, the whole thing falls apart in the first 15 minutes of the film. I held back from throwing up watching the rest. Stick a fork in the director, his career is done.

I just got through watching this on the telly, since I often try to catch all the Asylum -projects I can out of sheer curiosity. The plot of this epic revolves around the Deep Impact / Armageddon -style asteroid that is hurling towards us and can't be blown up or thrown out of it's course. The best option they come up with is to bury nuclear weapons to the bottom of the planet and explode whole Earth out of it's course thus easily avoiding the deadly impact. I'll admit I'm no geologist or scientist of any creed, but even to the complete layman this sounds like a legit plan that can in no way backfire or cause any harm to our entire ecosystem. And the whole thing is orchestrated by a temp in NASA, who happens to be smarter than all the science minds of the nation combined. Tia Carrere plays a geologist that gets involved with the mission, and Robert Davi is a general of the army. I have always appreciated Carrere, because even at the height of her popularity, she often appeared in all things cheap and stupid. She is rather okay in this, although not as lovely as Renee O'Connor one could see in the Moby Dick interpretation of the same firm - which is probably shot in the same submarine set as most of this film. Davi's only point is to look concerned and drink a lot of coffee. This movie had a lot of good brain fart mentality. The biggest problem with Asylum these days is that their movies have become too coherent and can only be distinguished from the normal Hollywood crap by their cheapness. Asteroid vs Earth was like if Ronald Emmerich had £3 cash and was even more crazy as the reality shows - and that's a good thing. We had a nice scene, where the sub has a leak at it's backside, so they device an explosion to separate only the front part of the vehicle and continue with just that. Or how about the ending, where we go into The Lord of the Rings -territory, as one soldier has to try and smuggle few nukes up a roaring volcano whilst avoiding enemies surrounding the mountain. And in the end, world literally jumps from it's orbit in a scene that looks like it has been directly lifted from the intro sequence of 3rd Rock from the Sun. In horrible, horrible CGI, of course - as is everything in this piece. This gets an okay score in terms of Asylum films from me. I wasn't disappointed, because this time the dumb cheese translated as entertainment, not a boring snooze fest.