Aquanoids

Aquanoids

Aquanoids

Aquanoids

During the Fourth of July celebration, a woman's warnings that a swarm of deadly creatures called Aquanoids has returned to the harbor although no one takes her seriously, but when she and her friends start to notice that others are disappearing they decide to stop the creatures once and for all. There's a lot to this one that really helps it out. Among the film's better features is the highly cheesy and generally goofy setup that really has a lot to offer for those who happen to love that kind of film. The frequent action here of the creatures arriving out of the water grabbing their victims out of the water and dragging them under results in plenty of fun encounters, mainly the opening attack on the divers, a fisherman getting pulled in from his boat, the corrupt officer getting attacked while attacking her. There's a lot more gore in this than expected, and the kills in here are quite bloody with a harpoon through the throat, having a face scratched and clawed, a neck bitten out, massive scratches across the back, feet, arms, hands, and a leg ripped off and gunshot wounds, with much more in here. One of the cheesiest scenes in the film provides some great gore as well, as there's a sequence where the creatures are birthed through a victim all done in close-up, and it rips the stomach open in great detail. The creatures themselves are rather cool looking, looking like a human with more aquatic-friendly facial features, sharp claws, and fangs, and much more streamlined, fish-like bodily features looking like appropriate throwback cheesy creatures in this kind of film. The films' other real positive is the fact that it's a glorious tribute to the films of the past. That means it carries numerous and very obvious throwaways gags, scenarios, or setpieces that are going to be commonly associated with the genre and spotted by viewers quite easily. From the old-school manner in which it plays out the stereotypes from the past, the corrupt mayor who wants to sweep the incident under the rug during a major holiday celebration, and the lengths everyone goes to in order to cover up the incidents focus on the use of stereotypes and tropes usually seen here and feel that much more old-school. The way it keeps trying to hide the creatures' existence with the faulty autopsies, or the quest to silence the group in a needlessly convoluted assassination plot between the corrupt authorities trying to kill off the group to prevent them from talking more about the creatures which have some decent action thrown in. The last part to this is the really nice amount of nudity which is enough to be appropriate without being sleazy and really makes a nice addition to the film. These here are the film's best parts. This one here doesn't have much wrong with it. The fact that it's too short is something to get over and is its biggest flaw. There's really not a whole lot that can't be done for this to spread the length out, but it really doesn't seem like it should be just barely an hour and change which it does. Even giving a little back-history on the creature's origins or where they came from alone is something which could've spread out the running time a little bit by including more about the town's history and connection to the creatures from that first attack that supposedly feels like common knowledge in the area, and fixed the film's minor flaws all at once. Since the opening attack is mentioned several times but nothing is really told further the existence of the creatures and how they're as common knowledge as they are There's also the film's aforementioned rather high cheese quotient, which has a couple of problems on its own in that it's not for everyone and is capable of delivering some real groan-inducing moments from it. It's not detrimental to the film, but it is there and does have some problems to it, though it's not all that bad. Rated R: Graphic Violence, Nudity, Graphic Language, and a mild sex scene.

I'm a pretty big fan of the 'underwater monster' B-movie. CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON is the granddaddy of course, and JAWS the milestone against which all over movies have been judged/attempted to rip off over the past thirty-plus years. AQUANOIDS is somewhere between the two plot-wise, as humanoid-type creatures kill surfers and bathers at a beach, but there the resemblance ends. This is no-budget filmmaking at its very worst, utterly devoid of talent and interest and only worth watching to see how worthless it really is. The hardest thing to like about this film is the camera, which looks little better than your average home video; the shot on video format works against it, lessening the experience against other, better B-movies of the past. A number of those films are referenced by characters in one SCREAM-like post-modern conversation, giving away the fact that the filmmakers are fans of this sub-genre. It's a shame they couldn't do anything with the tired script and awful execution. The creatures are barely seen, and boast rubbishy PREDATOR-style vision; the attacks involve laughable gore effects and one rip-off "monster birth" sequence. The jokes are flat and the acting awful, and brief nudity does nothing to keep you watching. The film's so cheap that even the guns rarely fire and explosions are effected via some lame CGI work. As the leading bimbo, Laura Nativo is attractive enough, and strangely resilient to the perils of the poor script, but she can't save this wishy-washy monster flick from being a total disaster.

First of all, let us examine the title. If a humanoid is "like a human" then is an aquanoid "like.....water?" Hmmm.... Anyway, this movie is so bad it will give you a headache. Not even kidding, the aspect ratio of the film is bad, so the screen contorts not only the video, but also your retina. And the acid-flashback you go on every time they show the aforementioned water-like creature doesn't help either. While it provides minor nudity, and some violence (like a man who stands helpless as his balls are crushed to a bloody pulp by a girl, a feeling you will share at the end of the movie) we only recommend this in cases of extreme desperation.

Now, i have been watching B-movie horrors for sometime now and this film is by far the worst one i have ever watched but also the best. If your looking for good script, acting, story etc. then avoid this film like the plague however if you are looking for a cheap laughter filled night in with the lads, this is the one for you. With no where near believable characters and a largely endowed femme fa tale you know your in for at least some cheap laughs and nudity. The script while trying to be serious is just awful, thats all that can be said....awful, just bloody awful.The script is devoid of interesting plot turns and any real creativity, if you gave a monkey a type writer the script for aquanoids would quickly churn out. I do however have a place in my heart for this film, even though the script was downright terrible, some moments in this film are just a must to commit to memory and are undeniably funny. The camera quality too adds to the hilarity, as a good friend whom i watched this with described its quality very well as "porno Cam". to conclude, if you see this in a bargain bin, buy it just to see what I'm talking about but if you are not someone in persuasion of B-movie horror you best look somewhere else.

Right, well from the very beginning of the movie, with the intro and the insanely lousy and semi-unreadable text that introduced the actors and actresses to the poorly made logo of the movie's title, then it was very clear that "Aquanoids" was going to be a low budget creature feature. Actually, I will say that writers Mark J. Gordon and Eric Spudic didn't exactly put together an all bad script here, there were parts of the narrative that had potential, and the odd interesting bit here and there. However, it was ruined by a poor and amateurish execution from script to screen by director Reinhart 'Rayteam' Peschke and some very lousy acting performances from the cast ensemble. I loved the fact that the woman being chased by the aquanoid while she was snorkeling and frantically swimming to a jet ski, but she still found the time to stop up and put on a life jacket before speeding off on the jet ski. But there was a deadly Aquanoid right on her tail in the water when she was swimming. It made no sense that someone fleeing for their life stops up to put on a life jacket. The acting performances in "Aquanoid" were shoddy and questionable to say the least. Needless to say that I wasn't familiar with a single actor or actress on the cast list, and I can't claim that I was impressed with what I witnessed on the screen. Visually then you're not in for anything grand, should you opt to sit down and waste 78 minutes on watching "Aquanoids". This is definitely not a movie that I would recommend you to sit down and watch, nor waste your time, money or effort on. Some of us suffered through this 2003 movie so you don't have to; you're very welcome. My rating of "Aquanoids" lands on a very generous two out of ten stars.

This movie is terrible from start to finish. The plot is like something written by an 8 year old kid who has just watched Jaws and the acting is similar to the quality you get when a relative realises you are videoing them at a wedding and tries to be say something funny in the general direction of the camera. This film is so cheap and pitiful I can't even bring myself to give it one out of ten. Even if you're a fan of really bad movies you probably won't be able to wring any fun out of this film because it's beyond parody. I still can't believe the vague marine expert rides around on a scooter. Did nobody involved in the movie have a car she could have used for half an hour?

OK horror lovers aquanoids a cheesy camp monster film 📼. Lots of low ratings I can understand, but to me I found it quite funny. A lot of gore and lots more but not a bore, all what I adore. Hope they didn't kill all the monsters cos they need to keep some back for part two. That is assuming the film 📼 makers do A follow up. I gave a good score because it ticked all the right boxes jacey out tat ta.