Almost Heroes

This is the kind of movie you need to watch more than once to appreciate. I'd never go so far as to say this is a "good" movie, on the contrary, its a very bad movie, and thats what makes it funny. No one seems to be able to appreciate the humor in the poor writing and acting that make this movie hilarious. Watch Farley's battle with the eagle a few times and you'll see the humor. Watch the gauntlet with creamed corn and tell me thats not funny because of its sheer ridiculousness. I say people need to lighten up and respect this movie for what it is, a harmless farce that allows for some cheap laughs at physical humor and absurd dialog.

Chris Farley had often said that he wanted to pattern his life after his hero - John Belushi. But Belushi's last movie ("Neighbors") wasn't as bad as this one. "Almost Heroes" is not a movie as much as a curiosity piece. You don't believe me, just watch for yourself as Farley (much funnier on SNL), Perry (more smirksome than humorous) and Levy (as under-used as they come) are directed by Guest (who is INFINITELY more talented than he lets on as director here) in a movie that is supposed to be a comedy but delivers more belly-aches than belly laughs. If humor were recorded in decibels, Farley would have been a grand master of laughs. Here, he operates at top volume; every word an inaudible shout, every body movement like watching someone convulsing. Even such a simple matter as Farley having a tooth extracted takes on the spectacle of Captain Ahab trying to bring down Moby Dick (please excuse the analogy). Everyone else basically stays in the background and lets Farley do his stuff. But the sad thing is that in the end, there were people who thought this simple story would have become epic with Farley's hyper antics. Instead, it's just desperate. And sad. One star, in tribute to Farley, who had done much better than "Almost Heroes".

I learned something interesting from watching Almost Heroes. A comedy is either funny or not funny. This is obvious. However, a comedy can be many different types of funny, but there is only one type of not funny. Almost Heroes is not funny. It's really pretty awful. Sadly, it's the last starring role for the late and great Chris Farley. He plays Bartholomew Hunt who, along with Leslie Edwards, played by Matthew Perry, sets out to explore the great uncharted West and reach the Pacific ocean before the much more famous Lewis and Clark. Edwards, Hunt, and a band of unintelligent misfits set out on this great journey and hilarity should have ensued, but unfortunately it does not. Almost Heroes isn't trying to accomplish anything except entertain its audience and make them laugh. I've said it before but when it comes to a film like this is can only pass or fail based on my own personal laugh-o-meter. For this flick the meter was pretty silent throughout, with only a chuckle or two here and there. It's all silliness with no hint of cleverness or creativity. The writing is uninspired and even the acting is undesirable, which is surprising for a man like Chris Farley. It's just a dreadfully stupid film. I've seen films less funny than this, of course, and I've seen comedies that are just so brain dead they make me angry. Almost Heroes isn't quite one of those comedies but it certainly doesn't have any redeeming qualities. The only reason I gave it a shot was because of the director, Christopher Guest, who I'm a huge fan of because of things like Best in Show and A Mighty Wind. Almost Heroes is far behind those two works of comedic genius and I wouldn't recommend it to even the biggest Guest fan. It kept me entertained for an hour and a half, but overall it's a waste of time and not worth watching.

Let me just say I am by no means a fan of Chris Farley. He's done a few good things, understood physical comedy and might have someday been the next big thing. But he's not, in retrospect, anything amazing. Everyone knows "Black Sheep" and "Tommy Boy" are the same movie, and all he really gave to this film was the same shtick of flapping his arms and grunting. Which is not my cup of tea. And Matthew Perry? Maybe he's just ingrained in my mind as Chandler Bing, but this role seemed so wrong. This is the story of two men who are trying to race Lewis and Clark to the Pacific Ocean in 1804. Although, this is only the background to a film about Perry trying to steal another man's wife and an ongoing battle against a Spaniard obsessed with his hair. The film is not really very funny (especially after you write off Farley) and seemed to me to be in a similar vein to "Cannibal the Musical", except being that Cannibal was infinitely funnier and relied on no name actors and no budget. So, thank you Hollywood for blowing millions on a film that was poorly made and not very special... I'm sure Farley wanted this to be his swan song. I have nothing really great to say about this film, but I don't want to keep tearing it a new one because I already know people stand against me on this. Well, they can have this movie and watch it until their DVD player starts smoking. I hope I never see this film ever again. (Although, I guess after recently seeing "The Ringer" I could have done worse.)

I'm a big Matthew Perry fan, but sadly even he can't save this film from being a flop. The premise is god enough, but everyone is let down by too much low brow humour and silliness that goes nowhere. A shame.

Almost Heroes (1998) 5 Word Summary Explorers race Louis and Clark In early American history two explorers named Louis and Clark attempt to be the first to map a route to the Pacific Ocean. However, Bartholomew Hunt and Leslie Edwards are on their tail. Hunt (Farley), Edwards (Perry) and their men race their way to beat Louis and Clarke. Even squirrels, waterfalls, bears and crazy Spaniards cant stop them. Honestly I'm at a loss of words with the rating of the film. This is probably my favorite Chris Farley film, even over Tommy Boy (though I've seen Tommy Boy tons of times, that might be why.) Now I know its not necessarily well made but its not poorly made by any means. The Performances are hilarious, at least from Farley and Levy and some of the other men, Matthew Perry wasn't at his best by far but held in there. Its just one of those adventure comedies that have been done plenty of times but this is just a new version of it. With any film like that (Vacation, Harold and Kumar, Detroit Rock City, ETC) you know its going to be ridiculous and completely unrealistic but that just adds to the humor in my opinion. It also is one of my favorite movies to quote. There is so many hilarious lines that you can pretty much quote it for as long as the film is itself. "White water in the morning," "Bent Twig," "Pittsburg Nellie," "why don't you get your own bottle" these are just a few of my favorite lines/scenes, (if you haven't seen it yet these wont make sense obviously.) It is for sure a "dumb" comedy for the most part but sometimes that's more fun. Id recommend this film to anyone that needs an easy laugh, and of course anyone who loves Chris Farley

As an amateur historian who has read extensively about the settlement of North America and The Corp of Discovery, I really liked this movie. While decidedly a comedy and parody of the Lewis and Clark Expedition, I found it to be surprisingly accurate. My reasons for this opinion are: 1) The costumes and accoutrements were right on. How many times since Davy Crockett have you seen a flintlock actually fire in a movie? The lodges were from Panther Primitives and Farley's pistol is an early 1800's Harper's Ferry. 2) The crew members all had distinct personalities. The members of the Corp of Discovery varied from well educated to nearly illiterate though all were accomplished at their respective skills. 3) Anyone who has ever been on a long term encampment will remember humorous events. 4) There were other explorers and adventurers on the Missouri in 1803-1806. 5) The dialog, while humorous, is accurate to the time and circumstances. If you read between the lines, you'll actually come away with a picture of 1804 North America that is surprisingly accurate rather than politically correct.

This movie is awesome. I love it when Hunt gets attacked by the eagle. And when Edwards eats the eagle egg shell medicine. Pretty much the whole movie is one laugh after another. This is comedy at its best. I give it a 10!

Answer the question in how this project ever became green-lighted and you to could be a big shot Hollywood producer! I only rented it because it was Chris Farley's last movie and I am a huge fan of his. Surprisingly enough he was still great in this flop but he was the only one. Unfortunately a lot of his lines were rehashed from previous performances but I liked him nonetheless as he always is a laugh-riot. His expressions including his reactions to pain are priceless and what a shame it is that he's no longer with us...he will always be missed! Matthew Perry is a horrible actor and his character was an exact replica of "Kids in the Hall" star Kevin McDonald...he had the accent down pat and the whole works but it just didn't work out for him. The Native American chick was hot but that's about it. Eugene Levy was heavily disguised and played an okay Frenchman but even he was disappointing...he can obviously do a lot better. Some of the characters were just stupid and I just tried to tune them out completely. Oh yea, what the heck was Bokeem Woodbine doing in here playing a servant. He should stick to action and urban films since that's what he's best at. What garbage this is...proves how untalented Christopher Guest really is! Final Exploration: Movies: Glad I didn't as it was one of the biggest flops in cinema history! DVD Purchase: I doubt it'll ever be released for it to begin with. Rental: Only for a final farewell salute to a comedy legend!

Someone really should help Matthew Perry choosing better movie scripts or at least explain him that overacting and making a fool out of himself isn't exactly a guarantee for funny movies. In 'Friends' he was OK, probably only because there were enough characters to keep him out of the spotlights most of the time, but this time he's one of the main characters, so you'll see him more than is good for your (mental) health. The movie is about a bunch of people who will try to reach the coast of the pacific ocean before Lewis and Clark. Of course the entire expedition consists of lunatics, idiots and fools, but that won't keep them from trying to win the race anyway. The tag line already said everything you need to know: Almost History... Almost Legends... Mostly Ridiculous. I couldn't agree more or have you ever thought to see the conquistadors fighting some 19th century colonists? Neither did I, but here they are. 'Almost legends'? True, this movie is already legendary because of its stupidity and bad taste and 'mostly ridiculous', I don't even bother to explain that one. I'm not saying that everything in the movie is bad, but it just tries to be too much and ends up being nothing at all. It is some kind of spoof, an adventure movie, a historical movie (although far from correct, but that's probably where the humor should be in),... all in one. I'm not saying that the combination has to be a guarantee for failure, but than you'll need much better direction and a better script. This time it isn't worth much. I give it a 4/10.