Alien³

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source: Alien³

Alien³

It's fun to compare Ridley Scott, James Cameron and David Fincher, the directors of Alien, Aliens and Alien^3, respectively. You couldn't find three more different directors. In Alien ^3, Fincher wants you to think he's cool. In Aliens, Cameron wants you to see the movie three times at the theater, tell all your friends how terrific it is, then buy the video the day it comes out. And in Alien, Scott wants you to eat sh*t and die. Cameron and Scott succeed, Fincher fails. Or maybe: Scott is NYC, Cameron is LA, and Fincher is Seattle. How about: Scott is a Lamborghini, Cameron is a Lincoln Navigator, and Fincher is a Prius with a Hummer hidden in the garage at home. Alien^3 just doesn't make it. Its grim penal colony is a boring cliché. The script is lame. Because of it, Sigourney Weaver gives her weakest performance in the Alien series. Alien^3 tries to be pretentious and fails even at that. Skip over this one and move on to Alien Resurrection, which might not be up to the standards of the first two but still towers above Alien^3.

SPOILERS WITHIN---------------No one liked and appreciated Alien and Aliens more than I...period. So when Alien 3 was released, I was at the theater on opening day. As I left the theater a short time later, I can remember thinking only one thing. What the Hell were they thinking? Let's kill off the child and hero from Aliens that we all fell in love with like they didn't exist or deserve recognition? Let's replace realistic creature effects with bad cartoonish computer animation? Let's make this film so dark and with identical looking characters that no one can tell who is who other than by their individual bad acting styles? Let's kill off the main character? I wish I could sum my disappointment with something more mature but if the shoe fits...this movie is a piece of sh--!!!!!!!!!1/10

This movie definitely wasn't it. There were plot holes you could fly a starship through, starting with a ridiculous initial premise. The characters were uninteresting. I was never sure who just died or why I should care. I've always believed that there was more potential backstory that could have been mined from the original Alien. Primarily, some scriptwriter could have given thought to the original alien spacecraft, where it came from, why were they transporting these creatures, what went wrong, etc. Unfortunately, that would have required intelligent thought and some originality, which is -not- what went into this film. There are two things I remember about the first time I saw this film. One was that I caught myself checking my watch a lot (which didn't happen when I saw Aliens the first time). Second, I remember feeling utterly depressed when it was (finally) over. Over the years, I've largely been successful in purging this film from my mind, but every now and then something happens to remind me of it and of how much I hated it. As I said, I wish someone would make a sequel to Aliens, forgetting that this travesty ever existed.