Airplane vs. Volcano

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This movie was extremely entertaining Not because the movie was good. Oh, lord no. The entire thing was stupid and they knew it, and they embraced it. Like 'Sharknado', 'Snakes on a Plane', and many other movies before, this movie does not try to be anything more than it is. But what it does is pack the clichés in so tight that it's a parody of the entire "disaster" genre. This movie is every bit the satire that 'Airplane!' was, only this movie doesn't realize that. It is a really sad commentary on movies today when this, a quick knock-off movie written just because they can, is a better parody and comedy than big-budget Hollywood films that try to be parodies. Seriously, 'Airplane vs. Volcano' is funnier, and I dare say, smarter, than a majority of the 'Movie' movies and all the parodies of that ilk they spawned. Just TRY not to laugh at this movie. Totally worth a watch!

This is a disaster B-Movie, its title is "Airplane Vs. Volcano"... yet looking at the reviews here, it would seem some people were expecting a blockbuster of multi-Oscar winning potential and a stella intellectual delight. Those people are idiots who expect too much. The acting is everything you would expect from one of these movies, the effects and plot follow suit. The purpose of this movie is to allow your brain 90 minutes of rest, in that this movie succeeds. Just sit back and enjoy the ride, let a laugh escape as you gaze in disbelief at some of the huge leaps it takes with logic. But overall if you're a fan of these films you know what to expect and will enjoy it, for everyone else who just came here because of the flashy poster, amusing title, perhaps you just have a love for Dean Cain, or maybe you're just curious how a plane can take on a volcano? Whichever is your reason, this movie will serve its purpose for you, there are much worse movies of this genre out there (Titanic II, or Snow Sharks for example), at least this one avoids the teen frat boys at a drunken party feel. In the immortal words of Bruce Lee in "Enter The Dragon"... "Don't think.... Feel" and you will have a fun 90 minutes. otherwise you can just sit there mocking and feeling offended that someone could release a movie of this style like so many of the other (clearly snooty) reviewers

Even though Robin Givens and Dean Cain made valiant efforts to save this movie with their acting abilities they were doomed from the start. The script was pathetic and my five year old Great Niece would have made a better Director. This was an attempt to make a disaster movie but the only disaster was the movie itself. SPOILER BEGINS The movie is about a commercial plane ending up in the centre of not one but at least six erupting volcanoes which have been extinct for over a million years. Inevitably the two pilots end up dead or disabled and it is left to Dean Cain (Rick Pierce), a pilot who only flies small planes, to save the day. (Echoes of Kurt Russell in Executive Decision). Lisa Whitmore (Robin Givens) is a specialist in volcanoes and ends up trying to assist the military in saving not only the passengers on the plane but those on the ground affected by the eruptions. Needless to say she encounters Colonel Ryker (Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs) who is not intelligent enough even to command even a platoon of empty milk bottles. It remains to be seen whether he actually becomes a good guy or not. Of course there was also the inevitable loony toon on the plane too, but how he manages to escape the plane beggars belief. I won't spoil your misery while watching the move by telling you about the climax of the movie but I will say I was moved to tears (in disbelief of how stupid it was) SPOILER ENDS This movie did have the potential to be slightly more than average, and therefore watchable but because of the miserable script and direction in my opinion this is the worst movie so far this year. The special effects were no more than just passable. I did enjoy the song at the credits stage though.

That is not to say Airplane vs. Volcano is great, because it isn't. It isn't particularly good either, but with the concept and the movie's title(any low-budget movie that has vs. in the title is often bad) I was expecting a disaster. Airplane vs. Volcano doesn't look too drab and it is shot and edited competently, while the direction shows signs of tautness. The music is a step above the sluggish-in-temp and generically orchestrated scores I'm used to hearing from an Asylum movie, while there are signs also of fun and tension that isn't present in most Asylum movies with the more scientific elements not completely out of whack this time. The acting is better than average too, well at least mostly. Best of all being Robin Givens, it's very rare to have an Asylum movie who has a beautiful woman who can act halfway convincingly, though Dean Cain is also a more than serviceable lead. However, Airplane vs. Volcano also isn't without questionable acting, David Vega in particular is saddled with a stereotypical and fairly insignificant antagonist role and overplays it so badly that it feels like pantomime. The effects do look cheap and rushed-looking, the best they actually get quality-wise is okay. The dialogue, though there are some snappy and thoughtful moments(something that you almost never hear me say about an Asylum movie), can feel ham-fisted- especially in the more dramatic parts- and for a straight-face movie there are some lines where it actually is difficult to keep a straight face. As has been said, there is some fun and tension but Airplane vs. Volcano takes a straight-faced approach and takes the story far too seriously. The dramatic parts really bog down the movie- the pacing is fairly tight and brisk everywhere else- and come across as too melodramatic and in a way that doesn't feel natural at all. The conflict is equally unconvincing, it feels very forced and it's not helped that the antagonists are so weakly written. Overall, has a lot of problems but considering the concept and title screaming of disaster Airplane vs. Volcano was surprisingly better than expected. 5/10 Bethany Cox

This was undoubtedly the worst movie i've ever seen. (And I've seen a lot) A 10 year old could have come up with a better story line. Not only is it not realistic, it lacks logical sense as well. Even if that was OK, they've tried to squeeze in too many such stories into one. Had they tried to work on one scenario, its may have been watchable at least. It was actually funny to watch and wonder if the director actually thought it was possible? The graphics in the movie are horrid as well. I can't believe they made this type of movie in 2014. Do yourself a favour and don't watch this.

OK, if you watched this were you really expecting Oscar caliber anything? I rent these types of films because they are fun, cheesy B movies! In my early days this would have been the anchor picture at the drive-in. This one did have what I thought was one of the better performers that should get better billing above Mrs Mike Tyson, and I guess has run out of settlement monies, Robin Givens and that is Tamara Goodwin who is the flight attendant. She could act her way out of a paper-bag! The guy who played the Col was one of the biggest hams I've seen in a while. The kid who plays the Specialist/Sgt well his part called for him to talk back, and he did it very well. As for the Tim guy who posted a review about this being a propaganda tool for the military, I can only say that I didn't see that they promoted, produced or lend-ed a hand to any part of this, so why he would say that is beyond me; maybe he is just one of those anti-American Americans who can't stand the sight of his countries flag. I'm sure if you rented/watched this you were expecting to laugh, yell at the screen, roll your eyes and enjoy a campy movie that in the end of it really doesn't take itself all that serious, unlike so many Jr critics here do. This is a fun movie just like any of the other Syfy-Asylum disaster/end-of-the world movies they make. They give young directors/actors, behind the scenes techs and yes, even a few veteran B actors a place to work on their craft.

I am so very sorry but there are serious spoilers in this comment. Avert your innocent eyes if you plan to watch this cinematic work of art and tenacity. Don't Look!!!! OK. You looked. It's on you now. I have never in my life laughed more than I did at this movie. It was down right therapeutic. I think the last time I laughed this hard was...was...was...no...no. Nothing dumped poop on my eyes and brain like this movie did. This is the first time I've ever been this sorry for the actors. Dean Cain and Robin Givens... Times must be really rough to sign on for this ride. The other actors in this thing were clearly paid $20 if they spoke and $10 if they didn't. Clearly the Janitor wrote this story and was paid for his expertise with a smoking jacket and a pipe. This movie should have ended at 13 minutes but NO! It had more to give to US, the beleaguered viewers. You see, there was an airplane. There was a volcano. Plot done. But no! There's more! Now you have to ask yourself certain logic questions like, "How flippin' long does it take to fly over a volcano?? (I am laughing so hard, I can hardly see). Why did the captain set the autopilot to circle exploding volcanic ash clouds? Why is that kid even there? Why aren't the other passengers wondering what's up with the telephone/ tablet guy? Why is there a Marshall on the plane? To give the lunatic something to do, I reckon. Why am I watching this train wreck? WHHHYYY?? I'm totally rubber- necking at this point. Then Dean Cain keeps on sitting in that pilot chair even though he isn't actually doing anything. The auto pilot, you know. Dang that autopilot!!! At some point, the incompetent flight attendant fixed man's broken arm and made it WORSE THAN IT ALREADY WAS. Then she put a band-aid on it and called that a day. Then she has to turn off the auto pilot by reaching behind some freaky wire combobulation but instead, jettisons the fuel while Dean Cain fiddles his thumbs in the pilot chair due to the unlockable autopilot. But there's more! The lunatic locked in the bathroom for 1/3rd of the movie. What is he doing in there in all that time??? WHAT???? My very favorite part was the plan to get off the plane with a raft and a parachute! GENIUS!!! We all get to float down to safety. ASTOUNDING!! We won't float down into volcanic magma that airplane is circling. Oh no!! At this point, I am laughing so hard that I need my asthma rescue inhaler. Remember, folks: Henry, the janitor wrote this movie and was paid with a pipe and a smoking jacket. Maybe a donut. I could not BREATHE when the lunatic gets blown up in a raft in the water. My eyes brimmed. My body went limp with love for having this movie come into my life. This "film" must be owned!!! I WILL buy this straight to video movie! Oh yes! It shall sit in my collection next to Ed Wood movies, Godzilla vs Anybody, and Plan 9 From Outer Space. It is a visual masterpiece that deserves a spot in your collection. Watch it just one time and your depression will be lifted while your common sense is beaten into a bloody pulp right in front of you. You will think to yourself that this movie is a crime, a travesty of justice, that just keeps going on and on and on. (much like this post actually). No, you won't ever get the time you spent watching this crime but, by golly, it's two hours you will never forget. Rent it! Watch it with close friends who have the same mental disease that you do. Get a monster sized vat of popped corn and a box of tissue for the tears of laughter. There are commercials with better plot lines than this movie. But that is all a part of the fun.