Aftershock

Trailer—Aftershock

An alien woman Sabina comes to a post-apocalyptic planet Earth to learn about the human race. The world is run by a fascistic military regime who hunt down anyone who rebels against authority and kills them. Am not sure what she learns. There is a lot of action in the film mainly set in one location, the familiar ruins of an industrial plant, which entails lots of running around by the dramatis personae. The plot is routine and sometimes head scratchingly odd. What distinguishes the film and makes it worth seeing is the awesome cast. In what other film could you see John Saxon, Russ Tamblyn (charmingly overacting), Matthias Hues, Chuck Jeffreys, Michael Berryman, Richard Lynch and Gerald Okamura? Fine actors all. Right at the end of the film Sabina demonstrates that she has telekinetic powers that were never seen before and is only used as a deus ex machina to help the good guy beat the villain. It would have come in handy earlier all the times she was in peril!

AFTERSHOCK is another post-apocalypse adventure made independently and on a very limited budget. The usual backdrop of destruction and chaos is part-realised here, although it sits oddly with the more mundane office settings and the like seen elsewhere. The plot, about an alien visiting Earth for inspiration, is largely ridiculous, not helped by the dated sweaters that she wears. However, Elizabeth Kaitan - one of the hardest-working B-movie actresses of the era - certainly puts her heart into the thing. This is largely a talky and insubstantial affair, although it picks up for the extended climax in which the brawny hero grabs a sword and runs around taking down the bad guys. The supporting cast features a number of famous faces, although sadly they get very little screen time in total. Richard Lynch is another mad soldier alongside Christopher Mitchum, Russ Tamblyn an old-timer, Matthias Hues a Conan clone, John Saxon the villain of the hour and Michael Berryman a random cross-dresser. See it to believe it!

This is a ridiculous movie. Thankfully, it doesn't take itself too seriously -- or, if it does, it does it so absurdly that it's impossible to tell the difference. Most of the action is just silly, the plot is convoluted, the characters preposterous... what is there to like about this movie? Well... intentionally or not, it made me smile a lot. I liked the gorgeous Elizabeth Kaitan, regardless of how bland her character was. I liked the always-rowdy Matthias Hues, even though his character's death was shockingly cheap. I liked John Saxon, who is his usual menacing self here. And I really liked laughing at all the silliness and B-movie mistakes. Throw in some Richard Lynch and Michael Berryman and you're bound to have a few good moments along the way. Take this for what it is; sit back, relax, and laugh at/with it. You won't learn much, but if you like post-apoc B-movies, you should enjoy this one.

Into "bad" movies? Give this one a try! Warning: synopsis/spoilers - A smoke-mist alien lady visits future Earth and finds trouble between black helmeted fascist gov't types (who scream electronically when they fall from heights) and ragtag rebels who cheaply/lazily look like average 1980s street folk. Slow build with a rip-off Eddie Murphy who then disappears halfway through until good guy Willie becomes a sword wielding ninja wannabe. Rewind-worthy fighting hijinks, mannequin use, & awkward head locks (he uses his leg?!!).

What can I say about this movie that hasn't already been said. I mean it's a low budget, b-movie with the b-movie acting, b-movie script, b-moving score, and b-movie directing. So why do I own it? There used to be a video store a few miles south of my town. It was a mom and pop video store that actually still rented out video tapes. It was great. They had all the little obscure horror movies that I love and just hard to find videos. The only problem was that they combined the Horror and Sci-Fi sections. Apparently "Aftershock" was considered sci-fi. I'd probably would have put it in action. I know there's and alien in it, but just because there's an alien in it doesn't necessarily make it a sci-fi movie. Sci-fi means science fict... sorry I got side tracked. Anyways I'm usually in the Horror section when I'm in a video store. So I always seen this, but never really picked it up to check out the back. Then one day I was at K-Mart and there it was for six bucks. Granted even then I knew this wasn't worth six bucks, however there was one thing that attracted me to this. John Saxon. I'm a fan, what can I say. And here he was top billed. Of course they only do that cause some idiot like me will come along and buy it. So I bought it. It was what you'd expect from a typical b-movie action movie from the early 90's. Not horrible, but still kinda bad. You just have to take this for what it is. A bad action movie with a couple of good action scenes and clichés galore. The main character even has an annoying side kick early on. Would I recommend it? Not really. But I guess everything's worth at least one glance. In closing I want to apologize for such a crummy review. I'm trying to write a review for all my DVD's. Even the bad ones. On a side note, just in case you was wondering, John Saxon did not disappoint. I mean the script wasn't great, but you could give this guy the ingredients of water as a script and he would turn in a good performance.

You'd think with actors like Christopher Mitchum, Richard Lynch, and Michael Berryman in the film the director would actually use them. I should know better! It's a crappy B-movie, duh! This movie, as all B-movies, has a convoluted plot, but this one has a twist. (Wait they all do...) It's a tragic post-apocalyptic story with an alien/dumb-blonde that comes to learn how our peaceful planet works the way it does. (It's post-apocalyptic, it's not peaceful!) Along the way there's a hint of buddy movie with Jay Roberts Jr. and Chuck Jeffreys as Willie and Danny. Jeffreys I think is going for Eddie Murphy but comes up way short. Then there's some bounty hunter who has a difficulties with his job. "Maybe I'm getting soft," he says. (He carries a six-shooter that shoots 8 bullets. Hmmm...) Throw in Michael Berryman as Queen, the cross-dressing mutant, and Matthias Hues as his Conan-esque sidekick and you've made for one messed up movie. Superb! A tough viewing even for those that enjoy B-movies. That's what makes them so great!

The acting is awful, the script is atrocious, and the premise is ridiculous. It's also some of the most fun I've ever had watching a movie. For one, nothing in this movie seems to take itself seriously. It's jam packed with so many terrible action movie clichés that it wouldn't surprise me at all if the director had made it as a parody. Watch this one with a couple of witty friends and you'll have a blast giving it an MST 3k treatment. The jokes at the movie's expense are really obvious. Second, as bad as this movie is, there are a few things it does pretty well. For example, the token minority sidekick (Jeffreys) who speaks with a pronounced lisp and delivers his lines like a jive-talking' robot nonetheless has some impressive athletic skills. As a consequence this movie does boast some pretty cool fight scenes. The special effects are often over the top and goofy just like it should be in an early-90s action movie. If you're bored on a weeknight and need a laugh, I'd highly suggest picking this one up. I got it in a bargain basket at a local DVD store for $3.

This movie is the "wipe when finished" edition. Step on up, step on up as the circus continues to roll through town. Anyone who paid a gold coin donation to view "Aftershock" is a court jester in training. Driving around the ruins of Beirut, extras from the set of 1992's "Prototype" sit around doing nothing still. The blond chick from one of Jason's movies, Kaitan, runs a hefty bag operation for the dead, as body bags are unsustainable for this future. Apparently, she's been sent by Skynet to spy on John Saxon's factory run concentration camp. Digital Man, aka Neil Vargas, plays the role of a transexual Tarzan, while MacGyver hits on a cave woman from an LDS clique. Not making an ounce of sense, I'm beginning to question if any medical procedure can cure brain damage. Is there a radical pill that can reverse the effects of horrible visual storytelling? This apocalyptic crap about wastelands and nomads reminds me of that terrible Italian movie, "The New Barbarians." It came as a surprise that the main villain in that, who looked like Lord Arthur from "Army of Darkness," had a penchant for men. And the costume at the end worn by Giancarlo Prete was straight out of The Village People's home collection. Eddie Murphy, MacGyver, and the actress from the Jason sequel escape the futuristic factory and meet an underground network of Templars. It's love at first sight as MacGyver lays eyes on Christopher Walken at the 27:50-minute mark. Twinkly eyes-sparkle those shiny baby browns, as Lucille would say. He's definitely got the Revlon X factor. 1989's Snake Eater and Walken keep looking at each other with seductive eyes, which implies their past lies in the romantic division and they can't wait to reunite with passion and courtship in the fashion of The Templars. (Philly's city of brotherly love eat your heart out.) Like all the other crap I've been watching lately, this movie has no plot or reason. The soul of this film was ripped from its frame (if it had one,) leaving it to parade around a lifeless corpse of no substance. The lady from the Jason movie is some kind of "Starman" who can ET her way through hairy situations with a glowing index finger. Walken continues to work his deep-seeded gaze on Snake Eater as the actress from the Jason sequel makes all the boys feel uncomfortable around her womanly presence. Years of being confined in a bomb shelter have made all the dudes converts to the Templars teachings. Walken's magnetic gaze is saddened when one of his Barbarian brothers acts out his suicide bomber desires and sacrifices himself to blow up an empty storage building. These two, with their transfixed affection for one another, remind me of that "Seinfeld" episode where the guy has hypnotic eyes that bore through you. Finding The Templars company unusual and incredibly boring, the actress from "Friday the 13th, Part 7" hooks up with one of Gacy's clown portrait models when suddenly an egg-shaped man, wearing lipstick, and the transsexual Tarzan Watusi their way on screen, cause static, then shoot the Gacy clown dead. I'm really struggling lately to understand what the sole purpose of these movies is. Look at this piece of cinematic brilliance, for instance: at the one hour and 18-minute mark, MacGyver, aka Snake Eater, beats up James Lew and handcuffs him with his own manacles, and the goon is resigned to defeat even though he has the key on his person to free himself. Movies like "Aftershock" are akin to xylitol: if you consume too much, you soil yourself. Don't forget to wipe.

Anti-intellectual paramilitary forces rule the post-World War 3 landscape, which is directed by Frank Harris, who was behind Killpoint and The Patriot (not the Mel Gibson movie) and Lockdown (not the Sylvester Stallone movie). Into this world arrives an alien named Sabine, played by Elizabeth Kaitan. Oh Elizabeth, you've been in so many movies that I've savored. You watched Lance Henriksen battle bikers in Savage Dawn. You dated Ricky Caldwell in Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2. You were Candy in four Vice Academy movies and showed up in Beretta's Island, an attempt to transform Arnold Schwarzenegger's friend, the recently deceased Franco Columbu, into an action star. I mean, Ken Kercheval even showed up. But the rest of the world - well, the part that watches slashers - knows you as Robin in Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood. You know her - the one who calls Tina Marilyn Munster before heading upstairs to get killed. Sabine upsets the balance of power and the forces that have worked so hard to consolidate said power now need to keep her controlled. Such is the world of Aftershock. The rebels want to protect Sabine and get her back to the portal that will bring her home. And the baddies, well, they want to dissect her. This is the kind of movie where the supporting cast is the entire reason to watch the film. I mean, there's a black rebel played by Chuck Jeffreys that 100% is doing an Eddie Murphy impression for the entire movie. Then there's Deanna Oliver, who was the voice of The Brave Little Toaster, one of the most frightening and strange movies I've ever encountered despite its outer trappings as a kid-friendly movie. Russ Tamblyn and Chris Mitchum are here! And Matthias Hues, Talek from Dark Angel (what's up with this post-Mandela Effect world where I only knew this movie as I Come In Peace?), is a gang member along with everyone's go-to mutant, Michael Berryman. The main reason I liked this movie - let's be honest and say the only reason - is that John Saxon and Richard Lynch play the leaders of the bad guys. To be fair, Lynch is barely in the movie in his role as Commander Eastern. He shows up in one major scene, where he orders around Saxon, holds a small dog and has a missing eye. Trust me, this scene alone boosted this movie up at least 40%. This was written by Michael Standing, who memorably blew a van to smithereens in The Italian Job. He also plays Gruber in the film. It's not the best end of the world movie, but with a cast like this, there was no way that I could miss it.