13/13/13

source: 13/13/13

Ever since I saw this movie I can't fight the headaches anymore. For days I've been suffering nausea and irritable bowel syndrome. I can't sleep because every time I think of this movie I vomit all over myself. Bad actors, stupid plot, The editing is awful and unnecessary scenes drag on forever for no particular reason while other scenes are so short they make no sense at all. On multiple occasions you can see the film crew, actors switch places between cuts, wounds appear from out of nowhere. Although... I almost feel like I could forgive all of the above if it were not for the simple fact that most of the blood that's in the movie looks like either diarrhea or strawberry jam. All I could see were walls painted with poop. I rate this movie 0/10.

I guess it's pretty difficult to pull one like this out of the hat. Badly acted, terribly directed, boring script. A fully flawed flick. Trying to save something out of the total mess: the girl killing Trevor is quite a remarkable surprise. As for the rest, there's nothing to say or to see. Maybe one of the most disturbing things is that when you shoot on video (and I mean, a video camera incapable of doing anything but video-looking-video) what you get is so plain, that, if you don't have a good story to tell, you better think about any other hobby. I know I'm harsh, but there's no way to deal with something so bad as this video. The colour timing is absolutely out of whack... audio is unbearable most of the time. Holy cow! There's nothing to get out of this thing but disappointment. We shouldn't let these kind of careless productions to be shown. So, for just making it (there was a lot of effort, I concede, I give you one point.

I would like to say there are spoilers in this review, but actually watching the movie spoils it more than anything I could say. I am not sure where to start with this movie, I have watched thousands of movies and this one is probably the worst I have ever had the misfortune of watching. The acting is HORRIBLE, I hope I never seen any of the actors who were in this movie in any other movie again, even the daughter, a child actor, was unforgivably dreadful. The only feelings any of the actors inspired in me was dislike and hate. When any of the characters died, I actually felt good that I would not have to see them again in the movie. The story and script writing in this movie is absolutely pathetic. A few examples: 1) The guy and chick are in the parking lot of hospital looking for a car, then the insane goons catch up to them and they hide. Goons proceed to yell at them to come out and jump around insanely for a solid 5 minutes, before one of them decides to walk 10 feet and find the chick (without even one warning from the guy). The goons then threaten the chick so the guy comes out, but he just chills in his very poor hiding spot for another 5 minutes. Goon leader decides to start killing his own guy, instead of walking 10 feet and finding guy, while guy does NOTHING to help any situation any where. Goon leader walks 5 feet from guy, then decides to start stabbing his last flunky, while guy does NOTHING for enough time for the goon leader to stab flunky a few dozen times. After about 100 stabs, guy finally decides he should do something about the situation, and slits the goon leader's throat. Stupid chick then thanks the guy for his actions in saving her life, when his complete lack of action would have gotten her killed a dozen times over if the script writers weren't on crack. 2) The two main characters escape the hospital in a car with intention of going to guy's house to get his daughter, when they arrive the guy says "we are here" and the chick's response is "where?" as if she had no clue at all where they were going or why. Then, when she sees his house she asks "what the f*** happened to your house?" as if she doesn't know that the world is ending in some insane chaos and there is a group of people trying to get into the house. 3) Chick watches guy's daughter gets shot in the head, has personally witnessed dozens of people dying in front of her, and barely knows guy. When guy dies in the car, she screams hysterically, crying and thrashing around like a maniac for what seems like ever. Why does she care? After a day of extreme chaos, blood covered walls and hundreds of corpses, she chooses NOW to get upset and start crying? WTF? I was only watching at that point in hopes that she crashed the car and died herself. Nobody should ever watch this movie, it should be deleted from all forms of media and erased from the memory of every poor fool who watched it. The people who made this movie should be banned from ever making another movie again, to the point where they should not even be allowed to have a cellphone that has video recording capability. Every actor in this movie should never attempt to act in a movie again. This may sound extreme, but it isn't.

This movie sucked. I would love to know who seriously thought this movie was good enough to fund, and continue filming the entire time. Terrible acting and poor writing. This writer/director should not be allowed to make movies. Do not waste your time and/or money on this crap movie. I had no idea what this movie was about when I downloaded it, thank God I didn't pay for it. It immediately lost my interest about 20 minutes in. What is up with these people with a camera and money that think they can just make a terrible movie like this? I seriously can't express how lame this movie was. Watch The Signal instead.. It's a brilliant movie compared to 13-13-13

How do I come up with a film like this? My friend recommends it. I am so sorry I wasted my time on this. I thought Hollywood can make only the good movies. I am so wrong on that. They find the money for a bad film like this. How? It would been better to give it to me, I would use it in a better manner. It is like a very bad copy of World War Z. Really bad copy! I only could say more bad things about this film but I hope I filled my 10 lines required by IMDb who really should rethink this minimum 10 line policy. Please use your time better then to watch this. Yuck!

Even the most dimwitted reviewer should know by now that we can't hold the no-budget stuff of the Asylums mock-busters up to the same standard as we do Hollywood productions. We must judge this film in relation to that, not some lofty blah blah goal. As a mockbuster then, this film does pretty well. The acting is pretty decent, and more importantly, the script is (while lacking in sophistication) also free from gross error: - they don't say horrible illogical things - they aren't any holes in the script - there are only a few suspend your belief moments So, given the premisse the script sets, all things follow pretty logically. The movie is about a recently divorced father and cop, Jack, (Trae Ireland), who is on a camping trip with 3 friends. While there, he notices the number 13 popping up everywhere. When he picks up his daughter from his estranged wife, he sees that she's gone insane. While he brings her to the hospital, we see that his friends, babysitting his daughter are also all slowly going crazy. Highpoint is the scene between his 11 year old daughter (played by 12 year old Tiffany Martinez) and Trevor, one of his buddies. She's impeccable as a faul mouthed mocker of Trevors attempt to fondle her... or do worse. In revenge-* fashion, she satisfyingly bashes his head in, even though we don't really know that he IS a (potential) childrapist. Miss Martinez outshines Chloe Moretz (who too F---ed this and that a lot) because Martinez uses the F-word in it's original use, which is: to have sex, or rather, fornicate. Of course the movie has some minor flaws: - A suspend belief moment on how Jack and Candice can escape the house, while surrounded by crazies. - A flimsy and late explanation of the craziness: anyone NOT born in a leap year is exempt from craziness. But the acting is good, special mention: Jacks buddies and the parking garage crazies. Also, the woman and the child actor could have a tat more attractive, but I guess it's hard to find decent 12 year old actresses willing to say lines like "Do you wanna f---- me, Trevor?". And to all other negative reviewers: Dude!!! We're not talking Shakespeare or the Mona Lisa here! Get a grip! The Melancholic Alcoholic.

This being a movie by The Asylum, then all odds are stacked against the movie already. However, and this did come as a surprise to me, then "13/13/13" was actually one of the better produced movies to make it out of the clutches of the guys at The Asylum. That being said, don't get me wrong, I am not saying that this movie is great, actually far from it. The storyline is adequate, but it was weighed down by some questionable acting and even more dubious dialogue. The story is about leap years having added time to the calendar as we know it, and one this unique day dated 13/13/13 the world comes crashing down, leaving a small group of people fighting for their sanity as the world crumbles into insanity around them. I will say that the storyline had potential, but it was just shot down by a heap of irrelevant sidetracking and really annoying characters and bad performances. There were certain aspects to the story that had potential, and could have acquired so much more had director James Cullen Bressack opted to put more focus on these. The outbreak of violence and erratic behavior was interesting, but it never really amassed into something spectacular. And throughout most of the movie there wasn't an overwhelming sensation of this being a major issue and a world-threatening outbreak of whatever phenomena it was supposed to be. The characters in the movie were rather two-dimensional and wooden, never really getting to shine on the screen, and as such, then we end up with a bunch of characters that the audience don't really care for or come to have any kind of bonding with in any regards. Production-wise, then "13/13/13" was actually quite good, and this was definitely a step in the right director for The Asylum, but there is still a long way to go yet. This movie came and went without leaving a lasting impression, and I seriously doubt that it will make a return for a second viewing. The movie just didn't have enough to offer to sustain a second watching. Don't get lured in by the interesting poster / DVD cover, which I did, because it is utterly misleading and promises something that has nothing to do with the movie at all. "13/13/13" gets a mere 3 out of 10 rating from me, given the production value and certain aspects which had potential.

Upon seeing this is released by The Asylum, you might be tempted to flee in the opposite direction as fast as possible, but you would be missing out on something they are not known for...an actual good film. That's right, a good film...not a 'so bad, it's good' film like most of them are, but a solid, well directed film that rises above it's budgetary restraints. From the interesting premise, to the camera work (with some great tracking shots), to the 'didn't see that coming' moments, and finally, to the insanely dark humor...it all adds up to an enjoyable time. Of course, it's not without its problems. I mean, this is still an Asylum picture we're talking about here, but this is quite the step up from what we're used to seeing from them. It's definitely worth a watch.

I watched this movie despite numerous comments and warnings not to watch it. Bit I did and I honestly repent such a decision. Awful acting and shallow story... No wonder why The Asylum is so bad-mouthed. Only few titles from that film studio I really liked. This movies is really not the one I would recommend to others, it contains no fun or entertainment, but it do contains only and plenty of bad language. It made me wish to stop watching it at the middle of it. This really is an end of blockbusters. If you are bored and you decide to watch this movie - you will bored even more. The movie keeps no attention of the one who watch it. I really do recommend you to watch something else and stop wasting your time on this - you will NOT regret it. I should have listen to those who tried to prevent me in watching the movie. Disaster.